Rambling Thoughts on a Snowy Day...

Some rambling thoughts on this cold, snowy day....

1. Bursitis is terrible. It is especially terrible when the cortisone shot stops working and you have to wait a week to get another.

2. Resume, cover letter, reference list, and recommendation letters have been submitted for the KTC Executive Director position. Now, I wait to see if I am selected for an interview and then hopefully for the job. Happy thoughts. Positive vibes.

3. Yesterday was World Prematurity Day. Both boys were slightly early. I can vividly remember the call from the doctor's office telling me to come to the hospital at 33 weeks pregnant because they thought I was in labor with Jackson. Turns out, I was. With meds and steroids, they sent me home and we managed to keep him cooking until 36 weeks. He is still impatient. I had progesterone shots starting at week 17 with Karson. We knew that once we stopped them, I would go into labor. I did. I had an unexpected C-Section (footling breech) and my strong willed second child spent time in the NICU. Still, we are blessed that they were able to come home so quickly.

4. Karson gets tubes in his ears tomorrow. This is our second kid surgery in 4 months. This one isn't as major as Jackson's but I won't breath a sigh of relief until he is back in my arms and sticking his finger up my nose or giving me that mischievous smile.

5. It is going to be a long winter if it is snowing already in Knoxville.

6. There is a 9 ft. Christmas tree in my family room that I need to finish decorating. Every time I try to add ornaments, Karson takes them off.

7. I am on day two of returning to my gluten free diet. I felt better when I was gluten free previously and the hip problem disappeared.

8. My to-do list is two pages so I should get to work. :)

See you on the roads!

Guest Blog Post - Altman's Chickamauga 2014 Race Recap

The 2014 Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon I was originally going to run the Columbus Marathon in Ohio on October 19. Two weeks beforehand, I stepped on the corner of a utility grate which flipped over and I fell into the gaping hole. I hit my left shin on the concrete edge, gashing my leg and bruising the shin. After a trip to the ER, I had nine new stitches and trouble running for several days. I decided to utilize the backup plan which was to extend training three more weeks and run the Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon – one that I had previously won in 2010 and 2012. Flashback to July 6, 2009. Jackson, our oldest son, was born that day. When he was just a few hours old, I whispered in his ear that one day, he would watch his daddy win a marathon. That day came November 13, 2010, at Chickamauga when he was 16 months old. On November 1, 2012, Kristy and I found out that we were pregnant again. With it being so early in the pregnancy, we kept the good news to ourselves. Nine days later, I won the Chickamauga marathon again. The secret that we were keeping helped push me through the final miles to set a personal best that day. Karson was born June 22, 2013. Keeping with tradition, I told him that he’d get to watch his daddy win a marathon someday too. Back to the present. The goal for Columbus was to set a personal best. My fastest time was 2:38:52 at Chickamauga in 2012 and I felt that I was in 2:35-2:37 shape on a flatter, faster, more competitive course like Columbus. But after the injury, I adjusted the race plan for Chickamauga. Not that I was necessarily second guessing my abilities, but as race day approached, I reevaluated my game plan. There were several things to consider. I would be running on a slower course, on which I would most likely be running all alone with no one else to push the pace. While my training had gone well, we have a toddler who does not sleep. Ever. It’s been over a year since my wife and I have slept for more than two consecutive hours. We were up most of the night the night before the race. Those factors, plus the injury, made me a little skeptical about running a PR. Fortunately, Joe Goetz and Bob Adams would be in Fort Oglethorpe race morning and offered to run part of the course with me. Bob picked me up at mile one and ran to the half marathon checkpoint; Joe ran from mile two to mile 14 with me. By the time I reached Bob, I was already all alone. The splits looked like this: 6:01, 6:05, 5:57, 6:04, 5:53, 6:01, 6:00, 6:05, 6:02, 6:06, 5:54, 5:58, 6:09. We crossed the half marathon timing mat at 1:19:08. When I PR’d in 2012, I hit the half at 1:18:36. I was a little behind that year’s pace, and again, skeptical of hitting a PR that morning. As Joe was leaving me, I ran mile 14 in 6:00 and mile 15 in 6:05. Just as I passed 15, one of the bike monitors informed me that I was about four minutes ahead of second place. I was feeling good, but you never know what to expect in a marathon. In 2011, I paid no attention to the competition and pushed the pace. I hit the wall pretty hard at mile 19, and my six minute miles turned to seven minute miles all the way in. I was passed during the 23rd mile by the eventual winner. I still earned second place, but that was a feeling that I didn’t want to have ever again. On this day, I decided to pull back on the throttle. I figured if I slowed 5-10 seconds a mile, I wouldn’t be pushing the limits of my body and would be able to cruise on in for the victory. The following miles (16-21) were 6:04, 6:05, 6:13, 6:11, 6:13, 6:21. There is an out and back section at mile 21. As I was returning, I saw Juan Soto, the second place runner, and I calculated that I was about three minutes up on him. If this guy is running 6 minute or just under 6’s, even if I can maintain 6:30s all the way home, I’ll be able to hold him off. I remember reading a recap from Meb Keflezighi after he won Boston in 2014. He talked about enjoying the last mile; making it a celebration of sorts. The way this course is laid out, I’m passing half marathoners (who are on their way to the finish line) as I click off the last several miles. It’s amazing how inspirational they can be. They are cheering me on, hooting and hollering as I am passing each one. Miles 22-25 were 6:12, 6:20, 6:17, 6:25. My left calf began to cramp at mile 25.4 as I was exiting the Battlefield via a service road. With less than a mile to go, I took Meb’s advice. I started giving thumbs up and fist pumps to the each half marathoner as I passed each one. When I finally crested the last hill to Barnhardt circle (the last quarter mile of the race), I could see the finish line in the distance. Mile 26 clicked at 6:32; my slowest mile, but who really cared at that point? The calf cramp seemingly went away and I started gliding down the hill towards the finish line. As I crossed the line, the cannon let out a thunderous boom; Chickamauga shoots a cannon for the winners of each race, a sound that NEVER gets old! Final time read 2:41:07. Not a personal best, but another victory to add to the record books, and the victory I had promised my 16 month old son. All I wanted was to hug my wife and boys. As Ron Bush with the Chattanooga Times Free Press and John Hunt with the Chattanoogan started talking to me, I dragged them with me to find Kristy, Jackson, and Karson so that we could have a family moment. The Female “Winner”? After I had finished the race and accompanying interviews with the local media, Kristy and I started walking toward the car to change when we heard the cannon go off again around the 2:55 mark. I am always interested to see the first female cross the line. Mutual respect for the fellow winner, plus curiosity for the time she posts. We thought the cannon was for Hugh Enicks, the 55 year old phenom, who has won the marathon three previous times; a sign of respect from CTC for this year’s Grandmasters Winner. Since I didn’t see a female on either out-and-back section of the course (mile 9-10 and mile 21-22), I figured the first female finisher wasn’t to cross the line until at least 30 minutes after I did. When I saw the initial results posted, I saw Tabatha Hamilton’s time of 2:55. I was a little surprised, but figured I had just missed her. Kristy and I surmised that the cannon being shot must have been for her and not Hugh, since his gun time was 2:54:51. When we got back to Knoxville Saturday night, I saw that results had been posted. I clicked the link and noticed my splits (1:19:08 for the first half, 1:21:59 for the second half). Again, out of curiosity, I looked at Tabatha’s split. 2:06 for the first half marathon split? No way. There had to be some kind of error because running 49 minutes for the second half would be a new world record by more than nine minutes – man or woman. As the race director for the Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon, I’ve seen chip read errors before and tried to think this one through. The way this course is laid out, you start north of the Chickamauga Battlefield and run two miles through a service road until you enter the battlefield loop. The loop is eleven miles, including a one mile (half mile out, half mile back) out-and-back section that you run from mile 9 to 10. They have you do the loop twice (so you do the out-and-back section twice, the second time at mile 21). While running the marathon, I crossed the half marathon split mat on the loop at exactly 13.1 miles (with the 1:19:08 split). Finishing up my second loop, I was passing slower marathoners who were doing their first loop, and crossed the mat again at 2:29. The mat is laid out just after mile 24 on the second loop, approximately two miles from the finish line. My first thought was maybe she didn’t cross the mat on her first loop and it only read on her second loop. However, there is no way she was ahead of me by 23 minutes to that point. So the 2:06 must have been her half marathon split time. What happened from 2:06 until she crossed the line at 2:55? Since no one saw her on the course (Hugh said he did not see her anywhere on the course; if she was that close to him, surely they would have passed each other at the mile 21 turnaround section). My guess is that she neglected the second loop and went straight to the finish line. With it being about two miles from that mat, she would have then run 15 miles by the time she hit the line. However, why did it take her 49 minutes to do two miles? Her pace through the half was about a 9:37 per mile. So why would it take her 24 minutes per mile to do the last two miles? More on that later. I read the article the Times Free Press posted late Saturday. She said she set a personal record (PR) by “six or seven minutes”. I don’t know a single runner who cannot rattle off their PR’s like it is their date of birth. She also said in her article that she was from Trenton, GA. She works on Battlefield Parkway. She ran the same marathon (with the exact same course) in 2011. That year, it took her 4:48. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she signed up for the full, was tired when she got to the second loop, and just bee-lined to the finish line. Maybe upon reaching it, she got caught up in the moment (and perhaps a bit spacey from running a long distance) and started talking to the reporters and rolled with it. Maybe she was so novice that she thought that just running one loop was a half marathon, and that they said she was the first woman to complete the half. But the more I think about it, I believe that this was premeditated. 1. 49 minutes to cover the last two miles. I believe that she looked at previous race results (Jessica Marlier won in 2013 in 2:52:58. Kaye Starosciak won in 2011, the same year Tabatha ran previously, in 2:58:17.) She knew that something sub-3 would be a realistic winning time, but she couldn’t finish faster than the first men. So she waited until the opportune time to cross the finish line. There are ample areas in the woods along the service road that she could hide until the time was right. Heck, she could have walked it in, blending in with half marathoners, until she reached the visible Barnhardt Circle and then sprinted it in to make it look like she was fast and finishing the full. 2. Familiarity with the course. She has run the marathon there before. She lives minutes from the course. She works minutes from the course. My guess is that she runs part of the course quite often. She knew that the two loop course would give her the opportunity to execute her game plan. 3. Interviews with the media and claiming the overall award. Since her disqualification, she has vehemently denied that she cheated and is steadfast in her story that she ran all 26.2 miles. If it was an honest mistake or if she got caught up in the moment, I believe she would have confessed and apologized by now. At our Knoxville Marathon, we have a somewhat similar course layout. Our full and half marathons start simultaneously, and both finish on the 50 yard line of Neyland Stadium. They run together for 12.5 miles before the half splits off toward the finish line. Every year, we get folks who have signed up for the full and for some reason (bad day, cramps, underestimation of the hills), opt for the half when the split comes. One of two things has always happened. 1. The person seeks out the timing tent. They push their way through volunteers, University Police, sponsors, anyone, to let us know that they registered for the full but ran the half instead. They want the results to be right; they don’t want to mess it up for their fellow runners. 2. We get novices that don’t know better. They finish the half, grab some food and drink, and then they head home. They assume that we’ll know that they only did the half. Do we? Yes. We use METERS (Middle East Tennessee Emergency Radio Service) to spot participants running the half wearing the full bib. They radio in the bib numbers so we can switch them in the results. Our timing crew also checks the top finishers to make sure that they have a 10k split, a half marathon split, and a 20 mile split that correlate to their marathon time. If someone only has a split at 10k and it is for a 10 minute mile, there is no way that they finished the marathon averaging 7 minutes a mile. Never, have I ever, seen one of these folks stick around for the full marathon award ceremony and attempt to claim an overall or age group award. I was shocked to hear that Tabatha stuck around for the awards and retrieved the overall winner’s plaque. The story has made national headlines. Many people have slammed her on social media. Justifiably so, in my opinion. There is no other sport where the effort you put in rewards you with your result. You cannot fake your way through the training, and other runners recognize and appreciate the hard work, determination, and perseverance that their fellow runners put forth. Having someone brazen enough to try and cheat, did not just cheat the Chattanooga Track Club or their marquee event; it cheated every other runner out there that had sacrificed so much before race day. Most importantly, it cheated Lillian Gilmer. She was the first woman to cross the line after running 26.2 miles. She believed (and justifiably so) that she was leading the entire race. She had the joy, the raw emotion, the thrill of hearing the cannon shot, and the recognition that accompanies the media interviews ripped from her. Sure she can always say she won the marathon that day, but she lost the real-time experience of the victory as it unfolded. The adrenaline rush and exuberance that comes with the triumph is what has kept me coming back to Chickamauga time and again.

Timing is Everything and Looking Ahead...

If you didn't see my Facebook post last night or if you missed the KTC email yesterday, I have accepted an offer to serve as the Interim Executive Director for the Knoxville Track Club through March.

It was unexpected but the timing is perfect.

I have been perfectly happy this summer and fall building my consulting business and taking some much needed time to think about the future. I have been blessed to have had great success in the business early and have been working with several steady clients on some awesome projects.

Then life happened. The outgoing KTC Director was offered a position in his original professional field that he just could not refuse. Good for him and for his family. I am thrilled for him. He has done a great job over the last 18 months and leaves on great terms.

So what is next?

I will serve as the Interim ED through March and I will continue to work with my clients through Altman Consulting.

What happens with permanent ED position for KTC????

The KTC Board will open the position to the public (it will be posted ASAP). I will have to apply just like everyone else. I have my resume and reference list ready to roll when the position is posted. If the committee likes my resume and current credentials then I will participate in the interview process. Ultimately a committee of the Board will decide on the next Executive Director.

I want them to choose me. I want the opportunity to come back to a job that I loved and work with the people that mean so much to us.

I appreciate the texts, emails, and Facebook posts in the last 24 hours welcoming me back. It reminds me that saying yes was the right answer and submitting my resume is a good move forward.

For now, I have details to finalize for a little race coming up on Thanksgiving Day. Hope to see you there!

I fully believe that if you are going to utilize social media as much as we do then you post the bad with the good. The good - we had a great day yesterday with Jackson at the game. We are fortunate to have a friend that gave us three tickets and we were able to visit with so many friends before the game. We've found a great new babysitter who is awesome with both boys and stayed with Karson while we were out. It was nice to indulge Jackson in some much needed alone time with mommy and daddy.

With that said, I am so weary and this is where I talk about how un-fun this past week has been and seemingly continues to be. I find myself wanting for the days when we were just tired because Karson wasn't sleeping.

This has been one of the most challenging weeks we've had in a long time. First, Jason hurt his leg last Sunday. That took us on this emotional journey because he has been training so hard for a marathon in one week from today. On the same day, Karson woke up not feeling well. I know this because he took a nap about 90 minutes after getting up that day. He isn't much of a sleeper so that is an instant sign that he is sick.

K recently had his 15 month vaccinations and the doc said he might run a fever and that a mild reaction is normal one week later. He was grumpy on Monday but his symptoms weren't worse. Same things on Tuesday. By Wednesday, he was intolerable. He was up most of Wednesday night with a high fever and vomiting. When he did sleep, he was restless and kept us awake all night with worry and debating on whether or not to go to the hospital. I took him to the doctor on Thursday and hoped we be on the upswing. Not so much. Again, fever and vomiting on Thursday night. Basically, a replay of Wednesday.

He slept well Friday and Saturday night but he's developed a rash (maybe a reaction to the MMR) and is still on a roller coaster of emotions and symptoms. Laughing at times and unbearable in the blink of an eye.

Here is my very quick pity party. I wish we had help. I wish that we didn't have to pay someone to help us whenever we need it. We are blessed to have the BEST neighbors that help when they can. Unfortunate timing, she was in Australia and he had injured himself early in the week so we didn't want to burden him. A couple of friends offered help but they have their own kids and asking them to stay all night probably isn't appropriate. We didn't hear from some friends all week.

I poured two cups of coffee today and both were cold before I got the first sip. That has been the pattern all week. And, I won't lie that I am a little green with envy looking at Facebook and seeing all the great race results. I am a little jealous of the folks who have (or can make) the time to train. I just don't have it in me to get up at 4 am to do it...usually because we've been awake all night.

Pity party over. The reality is that we've had a rough week. There will be many more. There will be some great weeks. It is always a mix. That is life.

I learned new lessons.

I am reminded that life rolls in seasons. It is a marathon so to speak and not a sprint. There will be ample time for training in the future. I choose to put training on hold so that I have time to pursue other opportunities and activities. I still run but don't have a plan. And, honestly, it is really refreshing to leave the watch at home and not know my pace or distance.

I am a lucky gal. I am blessed and humbled to be able to be a wife to a great husband (who by the way has been incredible this past week despite the 9 stitches in his leg), chase after our two generally healthy boys, run my own business, and serve the community in so many special ways. I am also blessed with some great upcoming opportunities to do what I love in the fitness sector (stay tuned....some of you will get very excited about what lies ahead).

So that's that. If you wanted roses and happy faces then you'll have to wait for a future post. If you wanted reality then this was a good dose of it. For now, I am going to finish my cold coffee and get us ready for the week ahead.

See ya on the roads.

2014 Year in Review (So Far)

A bad run  usually sparks reflection for me. Last Friday's terrible run did just that and I thought I'd do a quick recap of 2014 to date.

The Good:

• Celebrating 12 years together with my best friend
• Celebrating 10 years of marriage to that man
• Two beautiful boys with red hair
• Taking a leap and starting my own business
• Great friends who encouraged me to take the leap
• Awesome clients that I am privileged and humbled to represent
• New friends
• One of the most enjoyable and successful Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon events that we've had in all these years (Thanks MOC members! You guys rock!)
• A successful foot surgery for Jackson
• Lots of great things happening for friends...engagements, marriages, children, new jobs, and more
• Being able to see my grandparents fairly often and having them be part of the boys' life
• An upcoming vacation
• Having a comfortable home and cars to drive us around
• Celebrating Karson's first birthday with friends and family
• Celebrating Jackson's 5th birthday with friends
• Celebrating the removal of Jackson's cast with so many good friends
• AYSO and the Fire Dragon team
• Trains....Jackson LOVES trains
• Athletic balls....Karson is obsessed
• Our neighbors, Janet and Lester
• Being named 40 Under 40
• Being lucky enough to be asked to serve on a variety of nonprofit board of directors and give back to this awesome community
• Being healthy and able to run, yoga, and whatever other activity that I want to do

The Bad:

• A long summer due to Jackson's surgery with few visits to the pool, splash pads, and very little time playing at Ijams and the Quarry
• Teething...I forgot how awful teething can be - especially when the little one cuts 4 teeth in two weeks
• Being hit hard with the realization that even as adults, some folks are totally two-faced and not who you thought they were
• Needing to stay on a regular schedule of covering the gray hairs (I guess that is good for Lauren!)
• Wrinkles

The Ugly:

• Not sleeping for at least two years....through the end of pregnancy and since Karson was born
• Not sleeping...Karson still doesn't sleep through the night but it is getting better

So much more good than bad. And, the "ugly" really isnt' that terrible. I have a kid that is excited about life and that is really awesome.

I am looking forward to what the rest of 2014 brings for us. It seems that each year is harder than the one before but always in a good way. Each year, I learn more about myself and the world. And hopefully, I become a better person with each passing day, week, and year.

See you on the roads!

Exercise and Food and Spilling My Secret

I blogged a few weeks ago about putting in the work to reach my fitness goals. It has been going well. I have been building my mileage base and have been doing yoga and strength training (not in the gym but using body weight exercises). Pushing Jackson in the jog stroller has really helped my strength as well.

The next step in my fitness path is food. The thing is that I don't really eat terribly so this gets tricky.

Here is what I know about my system...I have a terrible time with acid reflux and heartburn if I am not particular in what I eat. So, lots of wheat/gluten products make me feel worse and cause me to eat a lot of Tums and Zantac. I have not been diagnosed as celiac but I have done a lot of experimenting and this is what I have found over the years. Steering clear of these foods is so much better than being on daily medication.

I also know that I have less reflux when I eat less dairy. That is an issue because I LOVE ice cream. I love it so much that in 2008, Jason and I spent an entire year without it because we ate so much ice cream every day. (Yes. An entire year. It was our New Year's resolution along with no fast food. And yes, we went an entire year without ice cream and fast food.) When I say "so much" ice cream, I mean at least a bowl and probably two per night. It starts off innocently with a small bowl (we switched from the larger bowls years ago to be healthier) and then Altman always asks, "Did you get enough?" My reply is always that "I could eat a little more." Never fails. Never.

We hardly eat fast food. We don't really eat out. We cook almost every night at home or make enough food for leftovers. I have some lunch meetings but try to limit those to once or twice per week.

Not only do I like ice cream but I like sweets. I started eating a lot more sweet foods when I was pregnant with Karson. I couldn't have wine so I had chocolate chips, ice cream, cookies, brownies, or whatever was around. This is a big confession for me because now that I have said it out loud to all of you, I have to acknowledge that I eat too many sweets. My secret is out.

Bottom line? The road to "Fit Kristy" isn't going to smooth if I can't get the sweet obsession under control. I can run 50 miles a week (no, not doing that mileage right now but I have in the past) but it will all be junk if I am filling my body with junk.

So there it is. There is no ice cream in the freezer right now. I am planning to make some pudding with greek yogurt later. I have had two Oreo's today and a handful of chocolate chips. Yes. It is 4 pm. And yes, I had them before my workout. It is stress eating which I will address in a later blog.

For now, I will greet my boys at the door and get ready for dinner. Each day, hour, and minute is an opportunity to start fresh and I am going to take advantage of a new hour to play with the kids and drink lots of water.

See you on the roads!

School Days

I am loving the back to school photos. The great thing about social media is the ability to watch the children of family and friends grow up and move through new life experiences. The photos remind me of my first school days and make me weepy for when the boys head off to school.

That brings me to the reason for this post and something that I have been thinking about all week.

Jackson is 5. He is a summer baby. He is a boy. Why does that matter, you ask?

Technically, we could have sent Jackson to kindergarten this year. Truthfully, we never considered it. Last summer, having a conversation about the kids with someone that I barely knew. Karson was a newborn and this person was asking about my family and other children. I was telling him all about Jackson and his upcoming 4th birthday. This gentleman noted that he didn't know me well or know Jackson at all but asked if I was considering waiting until he was 6 to start him in school.

The thought had never crossed my mind until then.

I read articles, asked friends, and asked educators about 5 vs. 6 and summer babies vs. fall/winter babies. I sought answers regarding maturity and the pros vs. cons of sending him at 5 or waiting a year.

Within a few weeks, we had our decision. Last August, we knew that we wouldn't be sending Jackson to school this year.

I am so glad and I couldn't be happier with the decision.

My heart would not be able to handle a first day of school right now.

Honestly, Jackson's heart wouldn't be able to handle a first day of school right now.

He has some maturing to do before he can roll into kindergarten and succeed. He is smart. Yes, I am his mom and have to say that but he is truly smart. He is already learning to read, his writing gets better everyday, and we've started working on basic math.

So, with all this said, I have found myself explaining to people over and over this last week when they ask if he's starting school this year. The funny part is that most of the kids in his pre-school class are all staying in pre-school another year. I don't know if their parents are being asked the same question or if they need to explain but I suddenly feel the need to develop an elevator speech or talking points for when the question comes.

I know we've made the right choice. I know that once he starts school, he will be there for a long time. I know that I can't get back this time with him and there is absolutely no reason to rush. I was the youngest in my class and I know that I was really at a disadvantage so many times. I know that I am going to really enjoy the next year.

And speaking of, for this year, we'll post vacation pictures in September and December. We'll send our love from Columbus in October. We'll post pic's of zoo trips in the middle of the day in the middle of the week.

And, we'll start the process of touring schools and interviewing future educators for our oldest child. The kindergarten timing decision was easy but now we have to determine the best educational route for our guy because not only are academics important, but I want to make sure that he is receiving the best overall education available.

See you on the roads.

Putting in the Work - Time to talk Exercise

As a kid, I wasn't into fitness or sports. In my early years, we lived in a place where I could ride a bike but moved out of a development and to a home with no place to ride except our yard. My parents didn't encourage sports. They said I never showed interest but honestly I don't remember them encouraging me to try sports at all other than basketball. As a grown adult, I am 5'3" so I wasn't destined to be a basketball star plus, I hated it.

In college, my friends and I would go to the Aquatic Center to workout. The space was small and cramped but it worked for our needs. In addition, I had a friend that taught group exercise classes. I LOVED them. They were so hard but it so fun and I really admired her for being up on that stage and leading us all through such a great workout.

Also, I took a weight lifting class in college and found that having muscle tone was actually really cool. From there, I signed up for a gym membership and committed myself to regular exercise.

I have been a certified group exercise instructor for half my life now. I don't teach as much as I'd like but I still get a thrill from leading a class and helping others achieve their fitness goals for the day.

In the last year, I have had a hard time getting regular exercise. Working full-time in a location that was 30 minutes from home, having two kids, community service commitments, and managing the house left little time for me to workout. Sure, I could get up at 4 or 4:30 to get my workout in but that is really hard when you only sleep two to four hours a night. But truthfully, I could have found the time if I had stopped, taken a breath, and really planned my days. I could have done a lunch run instead of eating at my desk. I could have hit the greenway after work or pushed one of the kids in the jogger. I was tired and wasn't making exercise a priority.

Now that I work for myself, I have a new outlook. And, I remember that to get results, you have to put in the work. I am currently building base running miles and practicing yoga several times a week. Once I get a good foundation then I will start to work on strength then speed. It won't come over night and it won't all be fun times. It is going to be hard. There will be good days and bad. There will be setbacks. But, it is time to put in the work.

If you have been meaning to get back out there and run or cycle or go to the gym then look at your schedule for tomorrow and find 20 minutes. A walk around the block is a starting place. Going to the gym and riding the bike for 20 minutes is a starting place. You have to put in the work to get results. Stop saying tomorrow and do it today. Let's do this together. 

See you on the roads.

Dear Jackson

Dear Jackson,

I think you are remarkable. It is July 2014 and you just turned 5. Just days after your birthday, you had a fairly major surgery to reconstruct the muscles in your right foot.

I know we've told you and we'll tell you the story over and over but you were born with a club foot. You had your first cast at 7 days old and your first surgery around 5 weeks. You wore that cast for three more weeks.

After the cast, you wore these special little shoes that had a bar between them. You learned to crawl in them and they didn't slow you down. You totally destroyed your beautiful crib by slamming the bar into the slats over and over. That was your way of getting our attention.

Most people would never have known that you had a foot problem. Your dad and I can see that your right foot is smaller than your left and always will be. Your right calf will always be smaller than the left calf. Otherwise, you've been able to run and play like other kids. Your only setback is that you haven't been able to balance on your right foot or hop on that foot. Not really a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.

We knew there would be another surgery. Achilles repair is what they call it. Earlier this year, you began complaining that your foot hurt. We took you to your doc who said that we probably need to do the surgery sooner than later so that your recovery wouldn't be bad. In addition, we all noticed that your right foot was beginning to turn in slightly. Your anterior tibialis and your achilles were out of balance and the result was that your foot was turning in.

On July 10, you had an achilles repair and an anterior tibialis transfer. We left the hospital that day with you wearing a big red cast up to your thigh.

You have handled the situation amazingly well. Yes, you've had some meltdowns and we've had some stumbles but overall, you haven't complained. You went from an independent and active pre-schooler to being totally reliant on your father and I to do everything for you - including going to the bathroom. Instead of being sad, you've laughed. And, you've been very appreciative and loving.

Within two days, you wanted to play on the floor. Days later, you were hoisting yourself onto the sofa. Within days of that, you were scooting yourself up the stairs. Last week, you were "crab" walking around the house and up and down the stairs.

You've drawn pictures and played reading games. You've watched a lot of cartoons. You've gone miles and miles in the jog stroller (yes, we've been pushing you even though your weight plus the weight of the stroller is over 60 lbs!).  We've had friends visit and all around made the best of the situation.

All of this to say that I admire you. You've laughed and cried and had good days and bad days but I am inspired by your ability to get up and keep moving. It isn't even a question for you. Each morning, almost immediately, you ask, "Can I get on the floor and play?"

When I watched you (crab) walk for the first time in the red cast, I could only think that you are definitely our kid. I feel proud that somewhere in all of this craziness, you have learned to keep trying and keep pushing and that you can do anything.

I love you. Your dad loves you. Karson loves you. We are all very, very proud of you. I am looking forward to seeing how you handle the orange cast (Go Vols!) and then watching you run again when this one comes off. You asked me yesterday if we can run together soon and yes, we can. I would be honored to go on a run with you. Any time. Any place.

Love you sweet boy. And yes, you'll always be my baby.

Mom

A visit to the Altman Home

If you were to drop by right now, there are some fun things that you would find.

First, you'd probably say that you didn't know we lived in a condo. Then you'd come in and say that our place is so big (4 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, walk-in closet, etc.). People are always surprised. We don't have a yard but we have a great field across the street for playing catch, soccer, and just running around. We don't have to do yard work and we don't pay for exterior repairs (new roof or gutters). Long story short, it is a great place for us for this time in our life.

With that said, here are things you'd find if you came over for a visit:

1. A slotted spoon in a wicker basket that holds toys.

2. Jackson jumping on his bed in his red, thigh-high cast (pre-orange cast). (Don't tell Dr. Sears.)

3. Pots and pans on the floor.

4. Tupperware on the floor.

5. Markers and copy paper on the table. And, about 40 pictures of trains that Jackson has drawn just today.

6. Two whisks and a trash can in the guest bathroom sink.

7. My completely unmade bed because I thought I would take a nap today.

8. Karson napping in his infant car seat in his bedroom.

9. A step stool in the bath tub along with a nail file, yoga block, and who knows what else. 

10. Blankets covering the patio out back so that Karson doesn't burn his feet while he wanders around.

11. A train table in the office but the trains and tracks are set up on the floor.

12. Jackson's beautiful blue walls covered with hundreds of train pictures that he drew himself. (He is quite the artist.)

13. Jason's clothes in our upstairs bedroom.

14. My clothes, purses, and shoes in the huge master walk-in closet downstairs.

*The master is on the main but it is currently the office/playroom so that we could be upstairs and closer to the kids.

15. Fritz curled up and sleeping on top of a pillow on the sofa.

I am laughing and smiling and truthfully, I am proud of myself. When Jackson was a toddler, I would have been picking up toys as quickly as he could get them out. I would have worried myself senseless over the "chaos" and having great anxiety about the disorder. 

Today, I don't care. The house is clean. The toilets, tubs, and sinks are all clean. The sofas have been vacuumed as well as the floors. We aren't living in a dirty home but we are living in our home and I love it.

See you on the roads.

Sense of Calm

I am sitting at the kitchen table with work covering the entire surface. I sat down here and never made it to the desk. I am happily busy and don't really have time to write this but the urge struck and I am taking a work break just for a minute.

It just hit me. This is EXACTLY where I am supposed to be and this is EXACTLY what I am supposed to be doing right now in this life.

It is never easy to leave a job. It is definitely not easy to leave a job without another lined up. When you have two kids and a mortgage, it is even harder.

I looked at a few jobs and did some interviews but my gut kept telling me that I needed to work for myself. In addition, other people kept telling me the same thing. Without being prompted, I had so many people mention that I should start my own business. I don't know their reasons for throwing it out there but after so many comments, I started to feel at ease with it.

Thank you to everyone who gave me a little push and for believing in me and seeing something in me. Thank you to Jason for supporting me and believing in me.

I have no idea what things will look like in a year from now but right this minute, I have this sense of calm about my decision. I am optimistic that I will be successful. Not in the financial sense (although that would be great too) but in a way that says that I can really help people and our community and really make an impact doing something that I love.

Now, back to work. My new boss is a total slave driver! :)

A ride on the strugglebus

A lovely young lady that I worked with last year would use the word "strugglebus." Cureton hardly ever seemed to be having a bad day. Always smiling and at the ready, I always chuckled when she'd say she was on the strugglebus.

I adopted the word and now use it when necessary. Today is necessary. I have to admit that I have been on the strugglebus for over a week and I am ready for this ride to come to an end.

First things first, I am not complaining. I am sharing my reality. That was the point of starting this blog years ago. To share my reality as a woman, wife, and working mom.

I love my kids more than anything in this world and am incredibly blessed to have them. If these are the worst times for us then we are incredibly lucky. Life is a roller coaster full of ups and downs and we just happen to be moving fast through good and bad right now.

Anyone who knows us will know that Jackson had surgery last week. We have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and support from friends. Neither of us are particularly close to our families (in fact we haven't seen or talked to my parents in over a year and Jason's parents aren't physically able to help us). My grandparents are amazing and help when they can and I have other family that would help if we called but mostly, we are raising these kids on our own with some great sitters and our local family friends.

The point is that the support has been amazing. Texts, calls, and visits have really been great for all of us especially Jackson. We had a few people brush off the surgery as not a big deal and I guess to them, it isn't a big deal. So what, your kid was under anesthesia and now has a cast up to his mid-thigh? No big deal.

But, it is a big deal. Have you ever carried a 44" pre-schooler that weighs 46 pounds?  Have you tried to move him in and out of a car or up the stairs or even to the bathroom? How many times have you had a very, very active pre-schooler suddenly be totally reliant on you for everything? (FYI - I am only 63" tall and he isn't far off from being half my weight.)

It is hard. He's used to instant gratification. Need to go potty? Get up and go. Thirsty? Get something from the fridge. Now he has to wait. Unfortunately for him, we still have a toddler that needs constant care and attention. We're working on patience with Jackson and we've had several conversations on the importance of asking with manners and then waiting patiently. Sometimes he is patient and other times, we end up having a moments where he is in trouble and we are frustrated.

I spent the first part of last week worried about the surgery and was so grateful and relieved once we were through it. Now, I've spent every day and night caring for the children with very little rest for the weary. They alternate not sleeping. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in a night in over two weeks. An ENT has prescribed tubes for Karson but I just can't bear to schedule that until Jackson is a little more mobile.

On top of all of this, personal relationships have been weighing on my heart. I am usually a good judge of character but have been disappointed by a handful of people lately. I have learned some important lessons and hope not to make mistakes again. Totally unfortunate and I feel like I should know better by now given that I am 37. This is why the situations bother me so much. I can keep two kids alive, be a good wife, work full-time, stay fit, and mostly keep up with the laundry but I sometimes have trouble seeing people for who they are until it is too late. I am not gullible. That isn't it. I think my expectations for people are really high and I want to make the most of every relationship. If I am going to invest the time then I expect certain things in return. Maybe my expectations are too high but the friends that I have and love have always managed to rise to the occasion so to speak so maybe I am just spoiled.

With that said, I have also been blessed to make some new friends that I think will be good for me now and in the future. And, as I noted above, we have been blessed by so many wonderful people who have been checking in on us and offering to help us with the children.

Even though I have been focusing on the struggles, I want to take a moment to focus on the positive.

Altman Consulting is thriving. If you haven't heard, I started my own business. I do PR/Communications work. My mission is to help small businesses and nonprofits with their communications needs. So many local groups are doing such good work but don't have the time, staff, or skill set to promote their work, do social media, or plan events. I have been very lucky to take on several initial projects with several more in proposal or planning. I have website content almost ready and that project should get underway soon. I am so grateful to everyone who has encouraged me and supported me. I am especially grateful to a friend who has been guiding me along the way and is continuing to help me forge ahead. I'll never be able to repay him for his help but will try.

We are set to go on vacation in September. No explanation needed there. Good times.

I signed up for a half marathon in December. Now I have a goal. So, I should probably start running seriously soon.

I have just been invited to serve on a new board of directors and am humbled that so many groups have asked for my service. I am lucky to sit on several local boards and work on committees for so many amazing groups. The future of Knoxville is very bright.

Football season is really close. That is awesome.

Karson may finally have a tooth...after 13 months.

We have 11 days until Jackson gets his short cast.

I have the greatest husband on earth. Seriously. Hands down. I never knew that someone could
love and support me so unconditionally.

And finally, I am off this afternoon for a little pampering.

So, hopefully the strugglebus is coming to a stop and we'll get on track soon. For now, I will sign off with a new hashtag from one of my new favorite friends. #letsdothis

See you on the roads (and not on the strugglebus).

Dear Karson

My Dearest Karson,

It has now been a year since you graced us with your presence and life has been one big adventure since June 22, 2013. I wanted you so much. We had this one wonderful little boy and just knew he'd be the best big brother ever. He deserved a sibling and we wanted to give him one.

It took a year. As you know, I can be impatient so it was a hard year for me. I had a plan. Plans change. That is okay. You were worth the wait.

My pregnancy was harder than the first. I was so sick for the first half. My hips hurt so badly that my runs were very short and I had to stop them by 30 weeks. Fortunately, I kept up workouts using the elliptical and yoga and weights. As you know, mommy isn't herself if she can't workout.

You came into this world in true Karson fashion meaning that not only were you not head down but you were footling breech causing me to have a c-section. You initially had to spend time in the NICU but you are strong and pretty adamant about moving along so it wasn't long before the nurses brought you to me for good.

You don't require sleep. I have never seen anything like it but you don't want, need, or like to sleep. Sometimes you don't feel good which makes the sleepless nights really hard on us. But, you are so stinking cute that I forget almost immediately that we are tired. (And I mean really tired. One day you'll have a non-sleeping kid and I will just smile when you whine about how tired you are.)

You are smart and funny and love a good reaction from us. You have bright red hair and big blue eyes. I never dreamed I would have a baby boy with red hair and blue eyes. Sometimes people mistake you for a girl so I try to dress you in "boy" clothes as much as possible. You have the temper that comes with the red hair and you get really mad when we tell you "no" and won't let you pound the glass or stick your fingers where they don't belong.

You LOVE your brother. We knew it. We knew he'd be a great big brother and we were right. He is so good to you and you absolutely adore him. Your whole face smiles when he comes into the room. It. Is. Awesome.

We celebrated your first birthday yesterday. You are walking by yourself (about a dozen steps) and you can feed yourself (it is messy but you do pretty good). You are 100% boy. If you have boys someday then you'll understand.

I love you. Your father loves you. Jackson loves you. You complete our little family and make everyday an adventure.

Happy Birthday itty bitty.

Love,
Mom

How did we get here?

I had this total moment of serenity on Thursday night. It is funny to say that given the chaos of our nightly routine. Jason was giving both kids a bath and I ran downstairs to grab something. In the midst of the total mess, this feeling of serenity hit me out of nowhere.

How did we get here?

A decade ago when we got married, we were not planning to have children. We wanted to get married, travel, work, run, and retire early. Somewhere along the way, we mutually decided that we should give this kid thing a try. We had the conversation while on vacation (wine and beer were involved) and both agreed that we might give it a whirl. If we got pregnant then it was meant to be and if we didn't then we'd retire early and travel a lot. We got pregnant immediately.

How did we get here?

Jackson fit right into life. Truthfully, we didn't have to make a lot of changes when he was born. He was portable and easy to take to races, meetings, the gym, or wherever we needed to go. He didn't sleep well for two years and of course we had to deal with his foot issues but overall, we didn't change much.

Of course we were more aware of safety measures and what diseases be might be contracting when people came near him but our overall lifestyle didn't have to change very much.

When we decided to have kids, we made an agreement that if we had one then there would be two. So, when Jackson was 2, we started trying for the next one.

How did we get here?

It was harder to have Karson. We tried for a year and were close to giving up when I got pregnant for real (I had had a chemical pregnancy one year prior). We were so excited. At 36 weeks and 3 days, we had our final ultrasound that revealed that he was footling breech. I would have to have a c-section. It would have to be soon. That was totally not in the plan. I never, ever dreamed of a c-section and I cried and cried. It didn't take long to to realize that it didn't matter how he arrived but that he arrive safely. So, c-section it was. Then, he had fluid on his lungs and off to the NICU he went. He wasn't there long but seeing my giant compared to the other tiny babies was very humbling.

How did we get here?

Karson has changed everything. Going anywhere - and I mean anywhere - is a production. Even though we only have two kids, we have to do a head count every time we get in the car. I salute all those parents who go for the third or fourth or fifth kid because I cannot imagine adding another to the mix. Karson is very social and hates to be at home. If he is home then he wants Jackson here too or he gets cranky. As most of our friends know, Karson doesn't require sleep. Seriously. He sleeps like 8 hours out of 24. He is only one. He isn't unhappy. He is generally smiling and playing but apparently he just doesn't need sleep.

How did we get here?

Luck of the draw. Fate. The stars aligned. God. Whatever you believe...that is how we got here. In the middle of the mess, it hit me that I am the luckiest girl in the world. I have a great husband. I have two - yes two - red headed boys. They are gorgeous. They are funny and they are both smart. They are kind and they are the loves of my life.

I realized that I shouldn't question how I got here because honestly, I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Trying to Relax

Admittedly, I am not good at "relaxing" and just taking things one day at a time. Usually, I am chasing kids, working, training, and fulfilling a good number of community service commitments. I purposely gave myself time for a break when leaving my last job and I am *trying* to enjoy the downtime.

I think I am doing okay. Some days are better than others. I have been able to get out and run more in the last two weeks than I have been able to run all year. I have been participating in classes for my next fitness adventure (stay tuned!) and just all around getting in shape again. The last several months have been hard for me and I have had little time for exercise which really explains my irritability, overall stress level, and all around sluggishness.

The kids always keep me on my toes and moving so nothing has changed there. We have been able to actually enjoy a good amount of time together which can be good and bad!

And, I am sending resumes out but only for positions that I would really want and that fall within what I want to do with my career. I am also still talking to several groups about the potential to do some freelance and project work.

I still have a good number of community service commitments too. I am so excited to be serving on two new boards and continuing work on several others. Knoxville is such an awesome place and I am honored to be offered so many outstanding opportunities and am happy to help.

Needless to say, I am still busy but my shoulders are a little more relaxed and the perma-wrinkle in my forehead isn't so obvious right now.

I do have a couple of goals before taking another job and they include writing a little more and beefing up my blog content, cleaning the closets, cleaning up our diet, and getting my running mileage back to a higher number.

With that said, I am going to drink my green smoothie and get started on my closet!

See ya on the roads!

What's Next?

I hope you've heard by now but I decided to leave my job in pursuit of more time with the boys and to seek new adventures. I wrapped up this week and am officially without a full-time job.

Almost everyone I have seen since making the announcement has asked me, "What's next?" So, I thought I would answer that here.

What's next? 

I have some plans. First, I am going to play with the kids. Go to the Knoxville Zoo, play at the park, and whatever fun adventures we find. Second, I am going to run. A lot. I haven't been able to run much so far this year and that makes coping with stress and life really challenging for me. So, I am lacing up and hitting the road, trails, and greenways and logging some miles. This also allows me to catch up with lots of my friends so a double win there. Third, I am going to clean my house. Really clean it. Closets and all. 

What's next? 

Get a job. I am looking for jobs and am being very thoughtful about what the next chapter will bring. First, I am getting back to teaching. I am set to start training with a local fitness business next week (will let ya know when I can announce) and hope to start actually leading classes by June. I am also picking up some yoga classes at the local YMCA's. I am sending out resumes. I am setting up interviews. It seems that any job offers won't come until June so I have a few weeks to look for opportunities.

I am also putting out feelers for freelance/project work. I have always wanted to work for myself. Given my background and experience, I want to focus on working with local, small businesses and community groups and helping them with their communications and event planning needs. If you didn't know, I am a whiz at event management and promotion and I think there is a need to help smaller organizations that just need a little push for programming and events. 

What's next? 

Ultimately, I can't really control the future. I have plans and I am positive that things will work out just like they should. We've run financial numbers for a variety of scenarios and are comfortable with each one. I am beyond blessed to know so many wonderful people who have been overwhelmingly supportive of my life changes. I am excited for the future and looking forward to the next chapter in the Altman Book of Life. 

Happy Friday!

Amazing Woman: Karen Tindal

If you look up amazing in the dictionary, you might find a photo of Karen Tindal. She is passionate, hard working, intelligent, and just all around fabulous.

Karen and I have worked together in some capacity for well over a decade now. Maybe longer. Karen is famous for being one of the most incredible group exercise instructors to teach in this city. She can teach anything. And, has been known to teach every type of class in a week. 

She taught me to teach. She taught my original Group Exercise Instructor certification course through the YMCA. She was my supervisor for years during her time as the Fitness Director for a local YMCA. We became friends and eventually she served on my board when I was th
e Director for Girls on the Run.

She made me a great instructor. She taught me not only the fundamentals of teaching a class but how to interact with the members and participants. She made me understand that I needed to continuously be aware of what participants were doing while under my supervision. She taught me to focus on them and that teaching is not about me. That lesson works both in the gym and outside of the gym.

Besides all of her awesomeness as an instructor and volunteer, she is an amazing mother. Her kids were young when we met. She has always managed to care for the kids, work, and give back to the kids' school and the community. She volunteered as a coach for GOTR and I can't tell you how long she's been involved with Farragut school sports. She is currently the Executive Director for Girls on the Run and it makes my heart so happy to see what a great program she runs for young girls.

One of her best traits is that she is passionate about helping others. Teaching, coaching, volunteering at school, volunteering for nonprofit groups, or in her current job, she is driven to help others.. She is quiet about it and isn't looking for recognition. She is a born leader and someone that I really admire.

You can find her working with girls or teaching a variety of classes around town. If you get the chance, take her class. You won't regret it.

Amazing Woman: Dr. Jennifer Brigati

I have know Jennifer Brigati for a long, long time. I have always known her through KTC and running. Jason and I led the CHKM Training Program in 2006. One of my first memories of Jen is that she and her husband hosted several KTC folks at their place after a prep run for the Strawberry Plains Half Marathon. She made an amazing baked french toast that I have been making for years since. We were friendly and always said hello but it would be a few years before we became really close.

Fast forward a few years....I had gone to Maryville to run with friends and Jennifer met us. She was very pregnant. The funny thing is that her "slow" preggo pace was right on target for my "quick" pace. I have no idea how far we ran that day but I remember thinking that it had gone by very fast and that we should run again together.

I wish I knew how many miles we've logged together. I bet it would be a staggering number. Summer, winter, rain, cold, heat, laughter, tears, pregnancies and more.....we've been out there talking about life and all that comes with it. Neither of us is ever at a loss for words and we never seem to have enough time to really catch up.

Jennifer is amazing. She works full-time as a Professor at Maryville College, has two active kids, is married, and finds the time to run, workout, and give back to her school and the community. She gets up at a ridiculously early hour every day so that she can get her workouts completed before the kids get up.

She has been a great sounding board for me for the last few years and I am so glad to have met her and am honored to be her friend. Like many of the amazing women in my life, Jennifer and her family have become part of my family. Cheers to another #amazingwoman! #wife #mother #runner

Amazing Woman: Mary Cates

I don't know when Mary became one of my best friends and part of my family. I have known her for years. She ran part of the very first Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon with Altman. Of course I was totally impressed that she was so speedy (and still am). We had mutual friends and they kept me up-to-date on her throughout the years. Like I said, I cannot remember when she became part of our family. It just happened.

We crossed paths often for so many years. She was a producer for WBIR and would invite me for TV spots or help me schedule interviews. A few emails here and there and then we'd chat when I would stop by the station.

We talked and texted and met for lunch. We scheduled some run dates (and yes, she made me faster) and we began to spend more time together.

She is amazing for so many reasons. To me personally, she is amazing because she's been a true friend for so long now. She's seen me laugh and cry. She has seen me ridiculously happy and totally, absolutely miserable. She's given me the great opportunity to be part of her life and I have seen her good and bad too. I have been blessed to be part of so many things including her battle with cancer. I remember getting a text from her that she had gotten married and my heart filled with great happiness at the unexpected news.

Knowing Mary makes me a better person. She convinces me that I am stronger than I think I am and that I can do more than I ever imagined. She is usually right. Her words always bring me back to reality and they always remind me that I deserve happiness and that I have a great support system.

She was the first person to meet Karson (besides Jason and the room full of doctors and nurses). I sent her a note the day we went to the hospital to let her know that he'd be making his debut. We sent notes back and forth all day and she wanted to visit. I had her by-pass the waiting room and come straight to the recovery room where only family was allowed. Jason was chasing Jackson and checking in with friends and I was thrilled to have the company. She was amazing. She wasn't phased by my continual vomiting from the anesthesia and pain meds. And, she took the most amazing pictures of my time with Karson before he went to the NICU. She was there for a few of the most intimate moments of my life and I am so thankful to her for coming to visit and being there with me.

I am so proud of her work as a coach and seeing the positive impact that she is having on local athletes. She puts her heart and soul into helping others and it shows. She is selfless in so many ways.

I am honored to call her my friend. I am blessed to know her and am so happy that she's allowed me to be part of her life. Mary Cates is one of the amazing women in my life.

The Right Time

I have heard the saying "fake it til you make it" over and over. Honestly, I have lived a good deal of my life faking it til I made it. There is hardly a situation where I don't "push" myself...meaning that it would be rare that I am not persevering through bad times to get to the good times. The "push" is in my nature and I have come to love that about myself over the years. I just smile and keep going no matter how bad something sucks.

Jobs...there have been lots of time where I had no idea what I was doing but I am a quick study and forever driven to do more so it has always worked out. Sometimes, I found that I loved what I was doing and other times....well, let's just say that I didn't stay at those jobs very long.

Kids....I have no idea what I am doing. Luckily, I have an awesome partner in crime who also doesn't know what he is doing either so we just make this whole kid-raising thing fun. Everyday that we wake up and go to bed is a success. Seriously. You think I am kidding but I am not. In the time that they are awake, I hope that they are learning to be respectful of others, that hard work is important, to be kind, and to have fun among other things. From what I can tell, so far so good. I can't tell you what tomorrow brings but today I can tell you that Jackson is smart, kind, courteous, and freaking hilarious.

Running...I will let you in on a little secret. I hated running when I started. Altman started running before me and was losing weight like crazy and I was jealous. I was teaching 5 or 6 group exercise classes a week and he was dropping pounds like it was his job. I was mad. And green with envy. So I started running. It was hard and it sucked. I sucked at it. But, I kept on. Pushing because I don't know anything different. Finally, it clicked. It was a run on Cherokee and I ran end to end without stopping. It wasn't fast but when I finished, my whole life had changed.

The point of this blog is to talk about the running. I have been missing "that feeling." I haven't run competitively in 2 years. I was focused on getting pregnant so I stopped training to gain weight (I thought that was the reason I wasn't getting pregnant) and then my body revolted during the pregnancy and my hips just couldn't handle the stress.

Since Karson was born, it has been really hard to get in runs between keeping this being alive (yep, I was his sole food source until recently), parenting the toddler, being a wife, working full-time, and just trying to breath. I started off so well last summer and then tumbled down the stairs and lost momentum. Since then, I have been faking my excitement about training.

I am runner. I will always be a runner. I wish I had known I was a runner when I was young because maybe that could have been my sport. I have been waiting patiently for that moment when I remembered all of this and could finally look ahead and say that yes, training will be hard and that I am going to have to sacrifice things (sleep mostly) to do it but in the end, training makes me happy.

The time is right. It hit me today. I did a speed workout. And...I remembered all of it. I remember running fast and winning...and losing by the lean of the chest. I remember running slow and enjoying the scenery. I remember sunny days and snowstorms and rainstorms. I remember that training pushes me to do well in all areas of my life.

We'll see how things work out but I think the time is finally right to remember who I am and push through the obstacles and hit the roads....

See you out there.