Dear Jason...

My dearest hubs,
You did it again. You earned a top three finish (2nd to be exact) on one of the most mentally and physically challenging race courses that I have ever seen. 

All marathons are hard but this course leaves you alone with your thoughts throughout the majority of the run. There are few spectators out there unless you count deer.

I am so proud of you. I realized yesterday that Jackson learned hard work, resilience and determination from you.

You train in the heat. You train when you haven’t slept. You train on vacation. You seek help when injuries threaten you and you keep at it.

You run alone because that’s what our schedule will allow. And you don’t listen to music...what the heck by the way? It’s just you and your thoughts.

Day in and day out, I see you - the boys and I see you - putting in the work.

And through all of it, you never miss a beat as an amazing father and husband. You never miss a minute of work.

I spend race days in a state of anxiety and excitement. I love seeing you on the course (why else would I willingly push seventy pounds of kid) and then waiting for you at the finish.

Watching you out kick that dude coming down the stretch yesterday will be one of my all-time favorite Chickamauga memories. At the end of the day, I know it hurt but you weren’t going to let him beat you. 

Yesterday’s finish is a testimonial to your hard work, resilience (early Achilles pain and a late side stitch during the race) and determination to finish the best you could.

I am so proud of you. So, so proud. 

143 babe,

Me

Dear Jackson...

Jackson,

I am writing this because I want it to exist always so that you can read it now and in the future. I want you to know how very proud we are of you and how much we admire you.

I told you on Saturday that I was proud of you. I cried. Sure, I am super proud of your time at the State Championship but more than that, I am proud of your hard work, your resilience and your dedication.

You haven't had it easy my dear child. You won't remember but you've heard the stories. Your 20 week ultrasound showed us that your right foot was a club foot. Dr. Sears told me he would fix it and not to worry. 

You had your first cast on your foot just 7 days after you were born. I wanted to kill Dr. Sears on that day. I don't think I've ever felt that kind of emotional pain while you cried and I couldn't hold you. I had to let Dr. Sears do his thing.

You received a new cast every week for several weeks until you had your first surgery. After surgery, you wore these special little shoes for 18 months. We saw Dr. Sears for each check-up and then at 5 years old, you had a major surgery on your right leg to repair your achilles and to move your anterior tibialis. Wow. When Dr. Sears told me you'd walk on the cast, I am pretty sure I called him a liar. But he was right. 

As a side note, he was right all along. I can never thank him enough for being your doctor then and now.

After the cast, you didn't need therapy. We were told just to let you play. 

A few years ago, you said you wanted to run the Covenant Kids Run. So, we practiced a couple times a week and by the time we got to that one miler, you were actually ready for a 5K. 

As you headed in to 3rd grade, you said you wanted to run Cross Country. Maybe because we love running. Maybe because Dad could coach your team. You did well last year and ended the season with a personal best.

This spring, you were diagnosed with a heart murmur. The doctor will keep an eye on it but it's not harmful right now. That news didn't phase you.

You ran track in the summer - even when you weren't having fun - and tried your best at the meets.

You showed up for every single cross country practice this summer with a good attitude. You ran when it was hot. You ran when you probably didn’t want to.

Each weekend, you ran with me and we ran slow but we were working on endurance.

Then, this fall, you put in the effort. You ran hard at each practice. On weekends, we went to the track and you practiced running fast. You fell - at two meets - and you got up and ran hard to the finish. You could have quit. You could have stepped off course and been done those nights but you didn't. 

We gave you a race day plan for regionals and you followed it. And it paid off with a huge personal best. We gave you a similar plan for state and you followed it. And you had another personal best. 

Your dad and I are so proud of you. You worked hard and it paid off. Your hard work shows in your school work too. We see the days that you struggle and get frustrated trying to learn new concepts but you keep going. You keep trying. You didn't like your social studies grade so you improved it. 

You won't have a personal best at every race and you won't enjoy every subject in school. But you keep trying. You keep working hard. You keep bouncing back when things aren't great. You are dedicated to your sport and to doing well in school. 

My hope is that you continue to do all three through school, sports and life. You are a great young man and I am not kidding when I tell you that you are good people because you are a good person. 

We love you and we look forward to watching you grow up.

Mom and Dad

In the last three weeks, I have started three blog posts and abandoned them all.

In fact, I have had several false-starts with blogging in the last year or so. I can't quite put my finger on why. I can't figure out why I am hesitating to say what's on my mind but I need to write something today because writing makes me feel better.

This has not been my favorite week. On Tuesday, someone I've known more than half my life died unexpectedly (in all transparency, she was battling cancer but she was in treatment so the news of her passing was shocking).

The love of her life happens to be someone that is very, very, very dear to me so I am sad for so many reasons.

The news this week sucks. Two mass shootings in less than 24 hours killing and injuring multiple people at both. This on the heels of another at a food festival. I saw a stat that we've had more mass shootings than days in the year so far in 2019.

How does this tie together?

We never know when our time is up. You could leave home tomorrow and not return. We don't get to choose when we go but we do get to choose how we live right now.

I saw another friend post about the "dash" and it's importance. The content of the post focused on the dash that represents your life between birth and death. That post came along at the perfect time for me.

So I ask, what makes up your dash?

Think about it.

What makes up your dash? It's not necessarily about what others think about you. To me, it's about what you would want to remember about your life.

My dash will represent the great adventure of life with Jason and the boys.

As a youngster, I never dreamt of a husband and kids. Other girls had big dreams about weddings and raising a ton of kids. I wanted to work. I wanted to make enough money to have nice clothes, a nice car and maybe a nice apartment. I mean, why buy a house???

Then, along came Jason. He is the love of my life. He is the love of my lifetime. I have yet to have a day in 17+ years together when I couldn't wait to talk to him - even if it had only been a few minutes - and tell him all the silly things.

Then, we had the boys. Again, I never dreamt of being a mom. I was steadfast for about 25 years or so that I would NOT be having children.

Now, I have two beautiful boys. They are smart and funny and mostly well-behaved so far and I literally miss them when we are apart. I cannot wait to watch them continue to grow into young men and then adults.

I feel pretty good so far about what makes up the dash between October 23, 1976 and the unknown date of my passing. I have had some great experiences and adventures. I still have a lot of things I'd like to do and accomplish but at this moment, I am proud of where I am.

So, as we head in to a new week, think about your dash and your priorities. Hug your family. Text a friend and tell them you love them. Send a thank you note to someone. Buy a coffee for a stranger.

See you on the roads! Kristy

Plenty of Milestones

I came home this afternoon and collapsed in sheer exhaustion. I was also hiding from the children who were fighting over one marker but we'll just blame being tired.

As usual, we've been going nonstop lately. Really, we've been nonstop all year.

Starting the new job has been amazing and I love it but it's been a lot to learn and trying to take in all of that information and manage day to day tasks is no small feat. Next week is six months and it's flown by and I am looking forward to many more months and years with MEDIC.

Additionally, we had #CHKM marathon season. This was the hardest year I can remember in at least 8 years. Altman worked more than 60 hours per week every week from late January through mid-April. Yes, mid-April. And no, the answer to the question is no. He doesn't get a day off on the day after the marathon. The two weeks post-CHKM are still 60 hour weeks while he returns equipment, follows up with all partners and then finalizes results for the company and school challenges among other things.

We launched right in to a crazy May with work travel, a huge MEDIC event and wrapping up school and pre-school. Suddenly, it's the end of June and I am in the midst of major milestones in our life.

On Saturday, itty bitty turned 6. I don't even know how that is possible. I do but at the same time I can't comprehend it. He's heading to kindergarten in just a few weeks. Kindergarten!!!!! Say what????

He's a little person. He uses big words and he's hilarious. And he's cute and he is sweet and kind to other people. We have our days (many of them) and it's possibly because he's a lot like me but I am so grateful to be his mommy. He completed our family and will always be my baby.

It's a big milestone and his birthday was a big deal but we aren't done yet..................................

In less than two weeks, Jackson will be 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.

Double digits.

10.

Did you catch that?

10.

I realize I am biased and I don't even care. He is smart. Really smart. And he's kind. He is the nicest human that I've ever met besides his father. The apple definitely doesn't fall far from the tree there.

This one made me a mother. I never dreamed of having kids when I was growing up. In fact, I didn't want them. When we decided to have kids, I had no idea how challenging it is to raise a tiny human and keep them alive each day.

He made me a mother and he's been a blessing. He's been kind and patient since birth as Jason and I try to figure this parenting thing out. We've had many #parentingfails but he's always called us the best parents ever.

Once we reach his birthday then we are on the fast track to the new school year. You know, the time when we will have a kindergartner and a 4th grader.

Wowza.

So. Many. Milestones.

And yet, there are so many more to come.

See you on the roads. 

Staring Down Marathon Week

I pushed Karson in the jog stroller today. Because of our schedule, it was the only way to get in the miles for all of us. It was hard. He is heavy. Everything feels heavy right now.

We are at the starting line of marathon week. Participants are tapered and anxious for race day. We are in the throws of several “marathon” days before we get to the weekend when the days run into nights then late nights and early mornings and there is no rest. And, you should know that we are anxious too.

This has been one of the hardest planning years that I can remember. Whether I was a KTC staff member or not, I have been part of this event since year one.

In the early years of volunteering and with Altman as Director, we didn’t sleep at all. The last few years, there is a little sleep but never more than 4 or 5 hours. I suspect that there will be less than that this year.

Everything is new again. The finish line change really does change everything.

It’s been challenging. Scratch that. It’s been hard.

It’s not just the race changes that have made things hard. Life is always challenging. We have a new normal with my transition to MEDIC (which I LOVE but more on that later). 
Raising kids is hard. It would be silly to say otherwise. We have two amazing boys who have very different personalities and interests and they rarely get along for more than 10 minutes at a time. They have activities and homework and we have to integrate their schedules with ours. 

I wouldn’t change any of it. I tell them that we are blessed with opportunity and I mean it.

That said, everything feels kind of heavy right now as I look at the week ahead. Keeping things together at home while Altman works 16+ hours a day isn’t easy. He starts working as soon as he is up and he works late in to every night. This week, I won’t see him in the evening until Thursday. He has to be out every night this week with final prep for the weekend. That’s probably not a big deal to many of you but he’s my person and I miss him when we can't be together and catch up.

The kids need to be fed, homework needs to be completed, laundry needs to be done and so much more. On top of those things, I still have that full-time job where I am still learning so much and also planning for our next fiscal year. :)
I'm also fortunate (and grateful and humbled) to have been invited back to do live coverage on Sunday with WBIR and have a little more studying to do before race day. 

Is this the year when I fail to do all the things?

No. No it’s not but I can tell you that not one extra thing will be allowed this week. We are in survive and advance mode. 

It’s race time for the Altman family and we will shrug the weight off our shoulders. We will be focused on keeping up with the pace during this marathon week. And note that I didn't say finish line because that is well over a month away, but if we can get through this week then we are past the proverbial “wall” and can make it to the end.

See you next weekend.

Hello Self!

It’s been ages since I wrote and published a post. I’ve written several in the last year or so but left so many in the draft folder.

Why is that?

I am not really sure. My best explanation is that I feel different these days.

I don’t know that I have been unhappy over the last few years but now I recognize that I was moving through life trying to figure out what’s best for the family and me.

I spent a long time first voluneering then working for KTC. When I got the call in spring 2017 about a new opportunity, I knew I couldn’t pass it up. But leaving KTC left me in a weird place and wondering about my identity. I had been affiliated with the club for so long that I wasn’t sure who I should be....

I wasn’t unhappy at Leadership Knoxville/Connect Knox but I think I always knew I wouldn’t be there long-term. It was a great job and a great organization but my gut told me that I would get the initiative launched and something else would come along. And it did.

When I learned about the opportunity with MEDIC, I was over the moon with excitement because I knew that it would be a great job for me. And it is. I wake up before the alarm every day excited to go to work.

I titled this blog “Hello Self” because for the first time in a long-time, I feel like the version of myself that is focused, disciplined and ready to handle anything that comes my way. I think I have been afraid to publish blog posts because what I wrote were just words without real emotion and honesty behind them and that’s just not me.

I am happy these days. The boys are funny and smart (and infuriating) and growing up quickly. Altman is still my bestie and still inspiring me every day. It’s not all roses and good times but these last two months are different than the last few years.

I don’t miss workouts these days. There is a renewed fire to take better care of myself. I have been injured over and over since Karson was born and have used those injuries as a crutch to do the minimum. I am ready to be healthy and stay healthy in whatever version that becomes.

I am not over-committed these days and it’s amazing. I still serve on a few boards but am very conscious about agreeing to do things. I have control of my overall schedule and that allows us to be flexible during this time of year when Altman’s schedule is not his own.

These days, myself and my family come first.

Cheers to a new year, new goals and new adventures! Look forward to sharing them with you.