Over the last several months, I've started a number of blog posts and then saved as a draft and exited the site. It's not that I am at a loss for words, I just can't get them on paper how I want them.

I have pandemic burnout. Work never stopped or slowed down for me. In fact, it was busier from March through May than ever. It hasn't slowed down, but we're past the frantic pace and plugging away. Altman's work never stopped. In fact, it's been more stressful than ever trying to figure out how to engage runners virtually and then trying to figure out in-person versus virtual for the fall and now wondering what happens in the spring.

The children were out of school for a really long time. The usual indoor/entertainment places were closed for a really long time. We had outside fun, but we have fair skin and need a break from the Sun. 

Karson broke his wrist and then Jackson fractured his foot. Back to back. One was healed and then the other was broken. What the heck?

Jackson's fracture came at the very beginning of Cross Country season. That just sucked. He'd been training all summer for this fall season. Fifth grade is like senior year for elementary school. His heart was broken. And frankly, so were ours. 

If you've never experienced the angst of child who isn't able to meet his own expectations then you are a lucky parent. No amount of antecdotes and encouragement will work for my first-born. Once he makes up his mind on something, he isn't happy unless he meets Goal A. 

He's been having some aches and pains over the last two weeks. His first race back was amazing, but he was disappointed. He met his goal for race two. We have regions coming up on Saturday and truthfully, I am ready to be past it. There's a new ache or pain each day, and Altman and I are just worn down with worry about how things will go. 

I know, my worrying won't change a thing. But, I want my boy to feel good about his effort. When he is disappointed, my heart breaks. 

We are blessed. I understand this and I thank God every day for our blessings. But, a little break would be nice. A break from COVID-19 news, political news, broken bones, anxious kiddos, and the daily anxieties about work and life. 

I started this blog years ago to be honest and transparent about raising children. It started with a poopapocolypse like no other. 

It's time to get back to those roots. And hopefully, my words resonate with some of you and allow you to see that we all have things on our mind and that's okay. 

Every moment is a new opportunity (can't remember the author of that quote) and I am taking them one at a time and doing the best I can with them. 

See you on the roads!

The Miles Continue...

Pre-pandemic, we were really busy. All. The. Time. We were gearing up for CHKM weekend and the general craziness of spring.
Then, COVID came to town. The need for blood doesn’t stop in a pandemic. Throw in over a hundred blood drives canceled in like 72 hours, 6 complete schedule re-writes for one week and communications sent multiple times per day bc of urgent changes and that’s a tiny glimpse of March into April.
I worked long days and weekends. I love what I do and it was actually a great adrenaline rush every day to see what would happen next.
Then, the frantic pace began to slow and we began to find new routines at work and home. And I began to wonder how I would pass time. Sure, it’s great fun to have time with the boys, but they like video games and playing together so I knew I would have some time to kill.
I don’t do crafts. I don’t bake. I hate yard work. I don’t sew. I was needing a good way to spend my time through the spring and probably the whole summer.
Sometime in April, I saw a post for the Great Race Across TN. It was to be a 1000K and run from May 1 to August 31. It was going to be hosted by race organizing icons!
Doing the math, that’s a lot more running than I have done regularly since at least 2012.
Logically, I signed up.
Some days, it’s been great fun. Others, every step makes me wish for the run to be over.
Without all the places to go, one would think I am less busy.
Nope.
I have miles to go. Miles before work. Miles after work. Miles on weekends. I get to run miles with Jackson and some days, Karson will come “workout” while I am in the treadmill.
I run/strength training in the morning at least two days per week. I run every day after work and on weekends.
I passed Sewanee today. I am ahead of the buzzard (cutoff symbol) and am on track to finish this thing.
Each day, the miles continue. I am rediscovering my overall love for running. The highs and the challenges and all the miles in between.
So, if you need me, I am likely logging some miles.
See you on the roads! KA
P.S. - I am going to keep going when the #GVRAT1000K is over. Who knows where my miles may take me!

Summer Break Has Begun!

Offical word came yesterday that it seems summer break is officially here. It wasn't a surprise at all. But even though it wasn't a surprise, it hit me pretty hard.

At first, I laughed it off because we knew it was coming and went on upstairs to hop on the treadmill. About 1.5 miles in, I started crying. Not for myself.

I cried for the loss of normalcy for my boys. I cried because some day, they'll be telling their kids about how they had a 5 month summer break.

I cried because Karson is missing out on the end of his kindergarten year. This year begins such a big journey in life and honestly, it sucks that he won't be able to participate in the fun Rocky Hill spring kindergarten activities.

I cried for Jackson. He loves school. He loves seeing his friends.

I allowed myself a few minutes to wallow and then I did what I always do. I hit the start button and kept going.

What else can I do? Sit around and be mad at the world?

That's not how I want us to raise the children and it's definitely not what I want to see them do as adults.

I want them to understand that life can be hard. There is great joy in so many things and there will be pain at times.

I want them to understand that when life is hard, you have two choices. You can be mad and wallow in that anger or you can recognize that this is a difficult situation and figure out how to make the best of it.

And yes, it's okay to grieve our losses. It's okay to be sad. But always try to shift the perspective into making the best of situations.

There have been times in life when I was just mad. And you know, I didn't feel very good then. I am sure my physical health suffered and definitely my mental and emotional health.

So, I woke up this morning and the sun was shining and I know that we'll make the best of it.

The boys are attending Daddy School each day. Jackson and I are still running together. We finally get to play with the ridiculous amounts of Legos and toys in our home.

We tune in to Dave's Happy Hour each day at 6 PM and listen to fun music while we work puzzles.

The boys are developing a relationship that they may never have had otherwise. I'm not saying that they wouldn't be close but certainly, they are getting to know one another as friends as well as brothers.

Eventually we will be able to have play dates again. Eventually we will be able to go to a restaurant so I can yell at the children to sit down and have manners. Eventually we will have another new normal.

For now, it seems that summer break is here so we'll do what we do during the summer....boys will still be learning. The boys will play. And we'll spend time together as a family.

See you on the roads!

Giving Thanks in Challenging Times

Two weeks ago today, we were travelling back from Atlanta where we watched hundreds of athletes gut it out on a challenging course in challenging winds and cold temperatures. Out of the hundreds, six are heading to the Olympics.

If the Olympics move forward as planned.

Two weeks ago, that would have been a weird sentence to write. Not so much today.

We are pretty transparent about our lives. We make a point to showcase the good, bad and downright ugly.

I don't think I need to go in to detail about how ugly the last two weeks have been.

In my job, the first challenge was tornado aftermath and managing communications for the response to inquiries about blood needs and for our center in Crossville. We saw as many donors in one day that week as we have seen in that location in a month before. MEDIC staff were amazingly flexible and worked together to collect products during challenging circumstances.

Then COVID-19 literally became an outbreak. An outbreak not only in reported cases but an outbreak of information coming from all directions.

This virus has had a huge impact on both of our professional roles. You all know now that the CHKM has been postponed. We stayed up late every night after the kids went to sleep talking about ways to make it happen or alternatives if it had to be postponed/cancelled. We hope for a fall date but the stars will need to align as perfectly as possible.

People are frightened. This is unknown territory for all of us. That said, how we react to our fears is going to have a huge impact on the next several weeks and months. We need to be smart and we need to be flexible. And mostly, we don't need to be selfish.

News and officials are telling people to socially distance themselves from others. I don't disagree. We pulled the kids from camp next week. That's going to be a burden and we will need very creative scheduling and work days between us but we felt it was best.

We are following the guidelines of no playdates and not going out just to go out. We are hunkered down at the Altman house playing no-stress chess, Battlefront (Xbox game) and having time together that we wouldn't otherwise have been able to have.

That's a silver lining in this - at least for us. If CHKM weren't postponed, then Altman would be somewhere in the house with his head down and working away at sending emails, entering registrations and finalizing logistics.

There would be the tension that lives here in March every year knowing that race day is coming and we have to be ready.

Yes, I have worked a lot this weekend. I worked while the kids played Legos. I am writing this now while they play video games. But, we've gotten some quality time that we would otherwise not have on this particular weekend.

Who knows what the next several weeks holds for any of us. But for today, I am focusing on the silver linings and all the things we have to be thankful for.

I am thankful that we have a treadmill, bike, weights, TRX equipment, exercise ball and yoga mats that we use for our daily workouts.

I am thankful that we have groceries and that we have had toilet paper delivered for years via Subscribe and Save and that I am not scrambling to find it right now.

I am thankful that next week was already spring break so that Knox County didn't have to make the decision to close schools although I would venture to guess that the kiddos won't be back before April.

I am thankful that I have a laptop for work that allows me to work just as easily at my dining table as it does in my office. I am thankful that Altman works from home.

I am thankful for book shelves full of books for both boys and for their creative little minds that can sit and draw for hours.

The challenging times will continue. I will no doubt go in to work tomorrow to find that more drives have cancelled and our team will rally to try to fill those slots. No doubt that whatever happens with the CHKM, Altman will have a full week of navigating responses for refunds and the various questions he is receiving as well as planning for the future.

But, again, I am thankful for some extra family moments this weekend. And I will continue to remind myself of my gratitude when the children are fighting over the video game. :)

Friday........

I started a blog post last week about how TGIF isn't real. I was writing it because I was exhausted and still had mounds of laundry to do and a full weekend of refereeing children (after several days of solo refereeing the children) and at the time, Jackson had suddenly spiked a fever....

This life is a 7 day operation and there isn't a lot of time for the R&R that I keep hearing about.

I can't say that I agree with myself on this Friday.

I left work with the TGIF mindset. I turned on music and then turned it up and drove to pick up the boys without looking back.

The last couple of weeks have been overrun with challenge after challenge after challenge. Both at work and at home.

The littlest is still sick. He is still coughing and after 9 days on medicine, I don't think he is better. It looks like we will be heading back to the doctor next week unless he has an amazing recovery this weekend. He's seen 3 doctors in the last 8-9 weeks (since before Christmas).

Jackson has had some respiratory issues and I think we have them under control now but it's been a bit stressful for all of us.

When either Altman or I travel, it just throws everything off. This last week was no different. It will be weeks before full recovery. As a side note, to the hard working, single parents out there...you are amazing. Seriously. Bring your kids over sometime and I'll watch them so you can take a nap.

Work has been hard. I won't sugarcoat it. There are many challenges and we've undergone changes and while I believe we are moving in the right direction, I long for a day with no fires to put out and a few minutes to actually drink my coffee (I don't even care if I finish it...I just want to get in a few sips...)

Because of schedules, I have worked out very little this week. That is never good. I need my workouts. I need the runs to clear my head and the strength training to feel strong. And I knew that missing the workouts would make me less patient and more tired but I missed them anyway.

I'm taking this moment to acknowledge that I need a minute to just be.

The family room is a mess. There is laundry to be done. The kitchen needs to be cleaned up. But, I don't know that I am going to do a thing.

I think I am going to sit on the sofa and read. Or do nothing. The children are fed and waiting for me to give the green light to play the XBox. Altman is on his way home and he's an adult so he can take care of himself.

So maybe there is something to the TGIF afterall....if only for today.

See ya on the roads. Kristy 

It's a New Decade!

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade! I generally don't get pumped about the new year but am feeling a little nostalgic today mixed with optimism.

Years ago, I started living by the notion that every minute of every day is an opportunity to reset. I don't always do it but I try really hard. Life is less stressful when you aren't carrying around a bunch of anger, resentment or whatever has your feathers ruffled. We are working to instill the same thought process with the boys. Again, it isn't always perfect but we continue to try.

I do love that so many folks out there take this as an opportunity to set goals for themselves. I have found over the years that many people just need that reset "button" and January 1 is a great option.

The last 10 years have been quite the adventure for us. We started the decade with a baby and now we have a 10 year old who is dangerously close to being taller than me. We welcomed the tornado otherwise known as Karson in to our lives and we moved to our current home. We welcomed new pets to the family and lost some of the best fur babies that I've ever had. There have been job changes for me and Jason has continued to organize the best event in town while making it better each year.

So here we are...2020.

In 10 more years, if we are lucky, we'll have a kid in college (or working - whatever he chooses) and another who'll be learning to drive. Our priorities and schedules and life in general will continue to change every day, month and year ahead of us. No doubt there will be plenty of tears but if the last 10 years is an indication, there will also be plenty of laughter, hugs and love.

For the next year and beyond, my plan is to focus on myself. I haven't focused on my running/fitness as much in the last 5 years and it's time to put some effort in to it. I have goals (nope - not sharing) and am looking forward to challenging myself.

I'm going to keep learning. Continually working on my professional skills and maybe even back in the health/wellness arena. I enjoyed that for so many years but haven't coached or taught classes in years because of the schedule.

I am ready to get scale back on stuff. We have too much. We've accumulated things over the years and it's time to part with a good bit of it. We are blessed to be able to afford our stuffed closets and full storage areas but the items we aren't using could be a blessing to someone else.

Lastly, I want us to travel more. I want all of us to have adventures that we'll remember forever.

Whatever it is that you're planning for the year ahead, I hope it's an amazing year. And if you fall off track, you can always get back on it. Just remember that every minute, day, week or month is an opportunity for a reset. Some resets aren't instantaneous but small steps can make a big difference.

Cheers to 2020!