Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Shutting Down My Mind

Someone needs to stop the speeding train also known as my brain. It is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I hate this. I've actually been sleeping pretty well lately but have bouts with sleeplessness once in awhile. Mostly, they are due to anxiety and it is likely that is the cause of tonight's adventures.

Taking down time is a big thing for me and rarely happens. I like to work and I like to work a lot. I usually work on vacation and almost always work 7 days a week at least for a little bit every day. It is easier for me to manage everything in my world if I just keeping moving along at a quick pace cause when I stop then things start to pile up. I have done a good job the past few days of just trying to "be." I have been reading a cool book and I baked and I have played choo choo's. However, I think it is time I get back to me being myself so I stop dwelling on things I can't control....

My problem right now is that I am fixated on all the negative stories in the news. The little girl mutilated by her babysitter, the horrific story about the fire in Connecticut, and Christmas killings in Texas. What in the world is happening in the world? From what I have read, the fire was a terrible, terrible accident and I know first hand about fire and accidents and death because I have been through it. That story hits particularly close to home so I understand the feeling of anxiousness about that one but the other stories are really getting to me as well.

When I am chasing Jackson and working and staying busy, I don't have time to see the news everyday and I don't have time to sit and think about all the bad things that can happen. Having cut back on work the last few days, I keep reading the updates over and over and my mind is running a million miles a minute and I can't stop it.

On nights like these, I seriously consider sleeping outside Jackson's room or better yet, sneaking in and sleeping next to him. The problem is that I can't sneak myself, Jason, and the dogs in so I should probably just let Jackson sleep. I worry for him and his future and I worry for Jason and I but I am not really sure what I am worried about but maybe that gives me an extra reason to worry (I am a born worrier in case you didn't know....).

For now, I will drink my milk to hopefully help my heartburn and maybe check some emails or put together pre-race instructions for an upcoming event. It might help slow my mind so I can get some rest....

Friday, December 23, 2011

How well do you know your neighbor?

It has been a lovely day.  I ran 12 miles with a dear friend and a new friend.  I took Jackson to the Zoo and had decided to lay down for a little nap. Yes, a nap. I am on vacay and felt that taking a little siesta while he napped was totally appropriate.

Before I laid down, I grabbed my laptop and sat on the sofa to make sure a few last minute details were cleared up for year end for work.  From the other side of our family room wall, I heard what sounded like an alarm.

Ruth is our neighbor.  She is very old. Last year, she broke her hip and lately we have seen her son around and we had been thinking maybe her health has been bad again.

We don't see her much. In fact, when we moved in, it was well over 3 months before we saw her for the first time.  She asked us if her TV bothers us (we live in a condo development so our walls connect). She doesn't hear well and she was afraid it was too loud.  We told her that we could never hear it but in fact, there are many days when you can hear her TV going.  Not a big deal.

Back to today.  So, I chalked the alarm sound up to her TV. I went upstairs to lay down. Just as I drifted off to sleep I heard the wail of the Fire Engine. My eyes popped open and all I could think was that I just let my neighbor die without even checking on her. Seriously. I am a jerk.

I ran outside to find emergency responders trying to decide whether or not to break down the door. My neighbors from the other side had also rushed over. Apparently Ruth's life alert button had been pressed and had prompted EMS to show.

After several minutes of looking through windows and literally seconds before they were getting ready to break down the door (yes, think BIG axe), her sister arrived to tell us that Ruth was at the beauty shop and her button must have malfunctioned.  Wow.  Thank goodness she is okay.

So now I wonder, how well do I know my neighbors and will I react differently next time? We would all like to think that we'd be there to help but would we really? Now that I know she wears the life alert necklace then I think I will be more likely to handle things differently next time.  I also think that I will stop by later, offer cookies, and maybe ask for a key to her house.  She is old and she might need a little extra attention and why wouldn't we give that to her?  After all, she is my neighbor...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tis the Season...part 2 :)

Things I learned today (in no particular order of importance):

1.  If you have a "guy" someplace (jewelry store, car dealership, mechanic, etc) then always stick to your guy.  If he isn't at work when you stop by then turn around and leave.  Don't try to let someone else help you.  It won't end well.

2.  Customer service isn't what it used to be or maybe my standards are too high.

3.  People don't have Christmas/holiday spirit because they've been out shopping.  Parking lots are overcrowded with people trying to park as close to the building as possible even if they have to drive around for half an hour to get that spot and once you get in the store, there aren't enough sales clerks to ring up customers.

4.  Shopping online is much more time efficient and less stressful.

5.  My kid is spoiled.  I came home with more new trains to complete the set.  I am not sure which set I just completed....

6.  I have to return a train to Toys R Us because it was grossly overpriced and I paid 60% less for the same train at Kohl's.

7.  I love my kid more than anything so I don't mind to spoil him and make another trip to Toys R Us to return above train. 

8.  People write bad checks on purpose and that just makes me mad.

9.  TRX is a great workout and was perfect for my day off from running.

10.  No matter what happened today, it was a good day.  I woke up.  I was able to be there when Jackson woke up.  I got to workout.  I got a lot of work done for KTC.  I donated clothes to charity.  And, I was blessed enough to afford gifts for my nieces and my son and Altman.


Monday, December 12, 2011

Tis the Season

Time flies.  As a teenager, we all complained of being bored or wishing for some date in the future to "get here" and our parents always said that time moves too quickly and we'd understand one day.  One day is here.  How is it 2011?  How is it possible that my child is 2 years and 5 months?  How is it possible that I brought my sweet Princess (yes, that is my dog's name) home 10 years ago?  How is it possible that in February 2012, Jason and I will have been together for 10 years?

Time moves along and if you aren't careful, you hardly notice.  Minutes turn into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, and weeks into years.  Now, years into decades.  What the heck????  This time of year, I really lose track of time because I spend the end of one year looking ahead to the next.  From September on, I spend a great deal of time scheduling and planning events for the following year.  I forget that we are still in 2011 and a number of times have written 2012 on a date line.

I am making a great effort to stop, take a look around, and have a good time.  Years ago, a friend got married and during the reception I found her sitting on a chair all by herself.  I sat down and we talked about something meaningless.  Weeks later, she told me that just sitting there, talking about nothing, made her take in the whole scene and by just slowing down for a minute, she remembered to enjoy the day.  I took those words and did the same thing at my wedding.  At some point, I sat down and just looked around.  Just one moment reminded me to take in the scene and enjoy myself because the whole day would go too quickly.  It did go too quickly and now it is a blur of fun memories.

Each day, my goal is to sit down and look around, take in the scene, and enjoy myself.  We only get to do this once.  It should be enjoyable.  Nope...I'm not living in a bubble where there are no bad days.  That is ridiculous.  Actually, there aren't bad days...there are days that can be very, very challenging and many that leave my head spinning.  Everyday is a good day because I woke up and I am surrounded by people I love.  If you make it from start to finish then it is a good day no matter what happens....

The point of all of this is that during this holiday season, we should all remember to slow down, look around, take in the scene, and remember to have fun.  The holiday season should be about being with friends and family and giving back to our community and having fun.

A Weight Lifted

I started this blog when Jackson was a baby with the intent to write about everyday life with kiddos. There are tons of books out there on r...