The Truth about Christmas and Children

For years now, a friend and I have speculated (alright, downright agreed) that parents keep secrets from potential parents. They aren't telling lies but they aren't telling the whole truth always. Initially, I thought it was a terrible thing but have since found myself leaving out certain details when talking to men and women who might ever consider having a child.

What we do tell others is true. It is hard. You don't sleep. Babies poop - a lot. They change your life but in the greatest way that you could have never imagined. All true. So true.

One of the biggest deceits is that no one talks about Christmas anxiety and turmoil. I am not talking about finding the perfect gifts or perfectly iced cookies or basted turkey. I am talking about the continual, any minute of the day, total and uncontrollable children meltdowns. Maybe your kids don't have them. If not then I will gladly let you teach me your tricks.

Department stores start decorating for Christmas in October. By Thanksgiving, everyone is on the holiday freeway and things are full speed ahead. In all of this, little kids start getting excited for Christmas and Santa Claus and then we ask them to spend well over a month "behaving" with the bribe that they will receive a ridiculous amount of presents.

I am guilty of putting the tree up early. I like having the tree decorated and up for Thanksgiving dinner. It is a personal preference. I may reconsider in 2014...

Last year was awesome. Jackson was just old enough to get excited about Santa and Christmas. He has never been one to bother the tree so that wasn't a big deal. We introduced Buddy the Elf and had fun moving him around. Once we got past Christmas Day, he moved on to the excitement of other holidays.

With that said, he started asking about Santa in July of this year. I think it may have been the day after his birthday. It was cute. And then in September, it was cute when he told everyone we met at the beach (yes, the ocean where it was still 85 degrees) about how he was going to run down the stairs and play with his gifts on Christmas Day.

He was giddy to put up the Christmas tree and celebrated Thanksgiving like a champ. Fast forward to today and I can safely say that I think we got a little too excited a little too early this year. He is a roller coaster of emotion. One minute, he is happy and excited and then he is stomping his feet and crossing his arms and huffing and puffing and finally he is crying so hard because he is heartbroken over his own tantrum. I have never seen anything like it. And honestly, most of the time I don't know what to do with it.

He got into trouble today for throwing a HUGE tantrum. We are talking one of those "get up to your room right now" kind of tantrums. Hours later when he realized his punishment (even though he'd been told at the time of his tantrum), he began sobbing uncontrollably. Huge crocodile tears and apologies aplenty. I didn't want to laugh but it was almost funny. It was also sad. And, it was totally infuriating.

He is tired. He had a big weekend on top of a big week. There is a lot going on for all of us and we are asking so much of him. I made him a deal that he'll tone it down a bit and so will I. I have promised to be a little more flexible on what "behave" means and he has promised to think before he throws a tantrum. Mind you, this doesn't mean that he won't need to have good manners and follow rules but I am pledging to recognize the signs of an impending meltdown and take a step back before I lose my temper or get irritated. I have the feeling that neither of us will live up to our promise but we are going to try.

So, if you are even considering having children, I am letting this secret out of the bag. You will thank me someday. You need to know that holidays are so tremendously wonderful but they can be hard. This is a great opportunity to teach your child about giving to others through Angel Tree gifts and ringing the Salvation Army Bell. But, it isn't all about the cute pictures of train rides, icing cookies, Santa visits (and sometimes that is the worst), and opening presents. It is about trying to keep your children grounded while lifting them up with promises of Santa visits and presents.

Tomorrow is a new day and I know that I like every other day of our lives, I will be excited to wake Jackson up and get the day started. I will be excited to follow him while he looks for Buddy the Elf and I will be excited to hear him talk about his Christmas play this week.

I hope that tomorrow we can both remember our promises to each other and that the day is a little tamer than today. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Hugs,
Kristy

A Little Running

I've been increasing mileage lately. If all goes well, I will be running a half marathon in February and a full in April. I realized a few weeks ago that it is time to step up my game and get back to what I love - distance running. 

I won't lie. It hasn't been easy. I took the longest break of my running career this year. 

I had to stop running at 30 weeks with Karson because the pain and soreness had become unbearable. I wanted to keep running longer but purposely making myself miserable would have been silly. I was fortunate that I have an elliptical and could do a good deal of low impact cardio and yoga until the day he was born. I had a c-section this time so I didn't run as quickly after delivery as I did with Jackson. I started easy one week after Karson was born with walking and the elliptical and didn't run for about 3 weeks.

I had 9 total weeks off from running. Since we started running in 2004, I have only had one break over a week and that was because I was wearing a boot for 4 or 5 weeks to heal a stress reaction. Otherwise, I run.

After getting back in the game this summer and starting to find a groove, I fell down the stairs. Ugh.

So, after another week or so of taking it easy, I laced up and headed out again. Admittedly, I have been pretty inconsistent. Having a second baby on top of the older child, being a wife, working full-time, and a good deal of community commitments floating around, I have found it hard to get a workout routine. I have slowly begun to increase my long run mileage. I have still been working out 7 days a week but not at the intensity that I have seen over the years.

With all that said, the time is now. I am roughly 8 weeks away from the half. I ran 9 miles on Saturday and that was my longest run in a year. Next week is 10. From there, the number just goes up. I will hit my first 20 miler since 2011 in March. Crazy talk. 

It isn't easy. I am sore from yesterday's 9 miler. I can remember when 9 miles was a mid-week long run or the result of a two-a-day and hopefully I will know that routine again soon.

I'm not worried about speed. For now, I just want to run and I want to run long. I am going to have to pay a lot of attention to food because I am still breastfeeding so I need to make sure that we are both getting a good deal of nutrients. I am seeing a massage therapist regularly to help me avoid injury and work out kinks that may be creeping up.

This is just another start line that will lead me to other start and finish lines. I am looking forward to the journey and getting back to my running self.

See you on the roads.

Thankful

It is the start of Thanksgiving week. We've seen post after post on social media this month about being thankful and the week has finally arrived. 

Many years ago, I decided that every day, I would remember why I am thankful...and grateful. It has worked pretty well and I almost never forget to stop, ponder, and remind myself that I am a lucky gal.

Life isn't roses. I have said that before and I will say it again. There are days that are really, really hard and sometimes those days turn into weeks. With that said, every day that all four of us wake up and go to bed is a success and I remind myself of that every day.

This year, I am especially thankful for so many things.

We were fortunate to get pregnant right away with Jackson. It took a year with Karson. We didn't talk about it much outwardly but it was hard. It had been so easy the first time and I am very impatient so waiting and hoping were hard. It was November 1 when we found out I was pregnant. So, one year ago, I was finally pregnant and hoping that things went well (I had had a chemical pregnancy while trying). I am so thankful for Karson. He is such a joy and I can't imagine life without him.

I am really, really thankful for our family/friends. I don't currently have a relationship with my parents. I could talk about it and maybe some day I will but for now, I want all of you to know that you make our lives so special and that you are our family. We don't have much of a relationship with Jason's family either. We don't have grandparents who can watch the kids when we need time off. But, we have some special people that help us day in and day out and I am so thankful for them.

I see lots of articles about social media driving us apart but on the flip side, Facebook has been wonderful for us. Our friends and out of town family can watch our kids grow and can track things. Just last week, a very special friend brought a ton of train stuff to us for Jackson. She may not have known his passion for Thomas without FB. This isn't a new scenario for us. It has happened over and over. 

See, the people in our lives are there for a reason and they have become our family. Blood relation isn't as important as the actual relationship. We currently have friends that are as much family as any of our blood relatives and I am so thankful for them. My girlfriends are my sisters and they know who they are and that I would do anything for them. That is because I know they'll do anything for me and be there whenever I need them.

I am thankful for Jason. It has been a wild year. We got pregnant, I quit my job, I started a new job, I committed myself to boards and committees, had a baby, and am now starting to train for some long distance races and he is so ridiculously supportive. He has taken on a great deal of "daddy" duty and truly splits time with the children so that I can pursue so many things. He is my best friend and I can never thank him enough for the love and support he provides me.

So, in 2013, I am very thankful. We are healthy and happy. We are finding our way as a family of 4. We are looking ahead to the future. 

Happy Thanksgiving friends!

Looking for Champions for Change

When did we become so selfish and self-centered? When did we lose our ability to say "please," "thank you," and other common courtesy phrases. With that said, when did we stop having common courtesy?

I was standing in line at A.C. Moore on Saturday. Karson was asleep in the car seat in the cart. I had moved to the end of the cart to run my credit card. Apparently, I wasn't moving fast enough because the woman behind me bumped the cart. Twice. Yes, twice. With my baby right there in her face. Literally in her face. The car seat sits right about eye level in those carts. The issue is that I was moving as fast as I could. I wanted to get out quick because the longer we stand still, the more likely it is that Karson will wake up.

When I left, I did what we all do. I went to Facebook. I asked friends for stories and opinions and I got several.

I discovered that we are bothered by an array of issues. I noticed a pattern. We almost all agreed that it would be great if people said "excuse me" once in awhile. And I don't mean saying "excuse me" after someone has bumped into you. If you bump someone then just say, "I am sorry. Excuse me."

I believe that it boils down to selfishness. We are out for ourselves. We don't care about others. Shake your head if you want but it is true. When did we lose the concept of personal space? We are in such a hurry to check out that we creep up on the person in front of us. The woman at the grocery store on Sunday was less than 6 inches from me while I signed my credit card slip. Why? It isn't going to make the cashier move any faster. He can't do anything until I hand him my slip. And, if you are in my way and hovering then I can't reach him anyway.

We get so mad if someone calls us "ma'am" or "sir" but I think of it as a sign of respect. It doesn't make me feel old to be called "ma'am" because I was raised to call everyone that I respect either "ma'am" or "sir." Years ago while working at a local YMCA, I had a co-worker rip me a new one because I called her "ma'am." She was so mean about it that I almost cried. 

I could go on and on. I could post all of the notes from Facebook. We could really go on a tirade here and start calling people out. That doesn't do us any good.

Why not start a movement? Why not be a champion for change? That whole "pay it forward" thing - why don't we "pay it forward" with kindness and compassion and common courtesy.

This week, let's try a few things:
Say excuse me when you bump someone.

Don't stand close enough to bump someone in the first place.

Say please and thank you.

Hold the door open for someone.

Respect personal space (at least 2 feet between you and the next person).

Our children, our friends, our colleagues, and our families mimic what happens around them. It happens naturally. If you bring back common courtesy then those around you will do the same. 

Be the leader and promote the change this holiday season.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I need to get some sleep. Goodnight friends.

Where have I been?

I started this blog with so much gusto. I think my first post colorfully told the story of a massive toddler diaper blowout and a day filled of ups and downs and overall silliness in the grand scheme of life. I was compelled to tell the world about the day.

I have been hit or miss lately with writing.I am really not sure why. It may be lack of time. Juggling a second kid leaves little time to write or really even think given the rest of my commitments. Maybe it is because I switched careers and don't want clients or potential clients to read poop stories. Maybe it is because I have had some serious writer's block. Maybe it is because I am out living life and not as drawn to the internet and computer as I once was....

It sounds like my absence is a culmination of many factors.

Life is fun....

But, life is hard...

We have this beautiful baby who is growing up too fast already and who has a smile that melts my heart every single time. We have this beautiful pre-schooler who is growing up too fast and who has a smile that also melts my heart every single time. He is also totally infuriating about 100 times a day. Love him but he is stubborn, strong willed, smart, and isn't intimidated easily (I can't imagine where he gets these traits).

Having a pre-schooler is hard. They ask questions and you can't just throw out an answer. Why not? Because your answer will come back to you and it may be glorious or it may be all sorts of wrong. You never know how your child is interpreting what you say so you have to answer every single question with a good deal of thought. The positive side is that it has really made us consider how we answer every single question and how we respond to every single situation. Having a young child is really helping us with our professional lives.

Work is good. I have a great schedule and a great boss who allows me to split time between work and home and who allows me to work a lot or a little depending on client load and my personal life needs. We have really cool clients and I have learned so much in such a short time.

I am finally getting back into running and training. It has been much, much harder this time around. Things after Jackson were so easy. I was running 10 mile long runs within about 12 weeks of his birth. To date, 4.15 is my longest run. My hips hurt, I suck wind, and overall, running hasn't been fun. The fall down the stairs and the potential broken tailbone probably didn't help me but I am hopeful to be back on track.  Luckily, I have been able to hit the elliptical daily and do a lot of yoga.

I am still committed to boards and committees and volunteer activities a plenty. I like that part of my life. I like giving back to this awesome community that has given us so much.

I plan to get back to writing. I hope to write a book one day and I feel like this blog may be a way to start the process.

I also plan to get back to teaching. I had a long talk with myself in the woods today on my run and I was meant to teach, coach, and educate our community on health and wellness. So, look out because I am a woman on a mission.

So, if you like my writing then you should be seeing more of it. It is a great release and I really want to charm you with stories of poop, smiles, laughter, running, exercise, and more.

Stay tuned.

Such a Great Day!

Yesterday was one of the top days of my life.

Many years ago, my Uncle Lynn brought be to my first UT game. Andy Kelly was QB and we played Vandy. We beat them. From the minute we got out of the car, I was in love. I had liked TN Football as much as a young gal could like football. Seeing the sea of orange was enough for me to fall head over heels in love with Knoxville and the University of TN.

I moved here in the fall of 1994. I got a great education and have had many fun times. I have slept on concrete to get tickets to watch the Volunteers play (yep...I am that old). I have worked games and gone to games. I have seen us play well and I have been very sad on many Saturdays. I watched the goal post run down Cumberland Avenue after beating Florida the year we won the national championship.

I met Jason in Knoxville and we've spent many Saturdays running long then tailgating. We spent several years tailgating with some special friends and yesterday when we played Rocky Top on the way to the game, I shed a few tears remembering one of those friends that passed away in May.

Since Jackson was born, I dreamed of the day he would go to his first game. I hoped and hoped he would have fun and love UT as much as I do.

His first game was yesterday. When the "T" opened up and he was yelling with everyone else and shaking the pom pom, I cried.

Even though I am not originally from here, I grew up in Knoxville. I became an adult here. I learned to juggle school, work, and life which prepared me to juggle husband, kids, work, and life. I met my husband here and have had two beautiful boys here. I am proud of this city, the University, and I try every day to give back in some way to our community.

I am happy here and when I think about it, it all goes back to UT Football and that trip with my Uncle Lynn. It may sound silly but it is the truth.

So, here's to many more football games with Jackson and the day that we take Karson to his first game. Go Vols!

Silver Linings...

This has been a heck of a week. Life has tried hard to break me but I prevailed - mostly. It is Friday at 7 pm and I made it through this week with only a few tears. Honestly I don't know what that means but right this moment, I feel pretty tough and don't think my plans of ruling the world have been compromised at all.

The week started with an unplanned trip to the doctor's office. After a weekend of tight belly and pelvic pressure, I headed to the doctor. All was well but considering how the end of pregnancy #1 went, I feel like we may be in for a ride in the next few weeks. We are excited to meet the little one but just not yet. He needs to cook a little longer and honestly, we need to get ready for his arrival.

On Tuesday morning at 6 am, I stepped on the elliptical, opened the iPad, and read a message that a dear friend had died the night before. He and his wife are very special to Jason and me. They were there when we starting dating, they were there to celebrate our engagement, they were there to celebrate our wedding, and still when Jackson was born. We spent Christmas with them for several years and had countless laughs and fun times. I had Rocky Top on the way home Tuesday night and couldn't help but smile because we spent a lot of time watching Vol Football together. I haven't fully absorbed it yet. At some point in the near future, I will sit down and cry - a lot. We hadn't seen them a lot in the last year. Life stresses last year had really forced Jason and I to keep to ourselves and just make it through each week. Now, I regret not seeing him more and I hope he knows how much I loved him. I hope she knows how much I love her and I have been thinking about her and praying for her.

The rest of the week has been a blur. Bad news or potential bad news here and there and just nothing really going right.  Throw in 34+ weeks of pregnancy and a ton of hormones and I am grateful that I made it through. And, I am tired. I am at that point where I don't sleep and even if I do, I am tired. It is part of the territory and I need to get in a habit of taking more naps since a full night of sleep isn't really possible.

Silver lining time. Even with the week being so terrible, there was good. I had been voted as the Class Rep for Leadership Knoxville meaning that I will serve on the LK Board. I attended my first board meeting as a guest and am so excited to be part of the group and so, so honored that my classmates chose me to represent the Best Class Ever. I have also been asked to serve on the Community Advisory Board for Junior League of Knoxville and I made it to a reception for that group as well. I am honored to be chosen and even more thrilled to get to work with a dear friend of mine over the next two years.

Even better silver linings....our friends. We were blessed to receive gifts for Baby Altman by my fellow CHC Members on Thursday morning and I came home to gifts from one of my long time best friends that afternoon. Today, Jason and I were surprised to receive gifts for the littlest Altman from my co-workers who have all quickly become great friends. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in our life.

And the best silver lining....it is Friday and we have no plans for the next two days and I get to spend every minute with the two loves of my life. We are watching Henry Hugglemonster now and will get Chocolate milkshakes to celebrate the end of the week. When the rest of the day or week isn't fun, Altman and Little Altman always make me feel happy and content.

So, bring it on June. I made it through the first week and won't give up easily. I have a great husband, great kid, another kid on the way, and a fantastic support system all around. So, while life isn't always fun, there are always silver linings and blessings and I am one blessed lady.

3 AM

Eleven years ago, at 3 am, Altman and I would have likely been finishing up a shift at work or leaving a bar. Given the date, we had probably worked day shift and had gone out to celebrate the Kentucky Derby.  I was 25 then. I had taken a job waiting tables/bartending/expediting at a restaurant/bar so I could go to school full-time. I had a degree on Communications/PR but wanted to pursue a degree in a wellness related field.

We met on my first day of work and started dating almost immediately. So, in our early 20s, we still had fun going to dinner and meeting friends for a drink or more. The bonus was that Altman lived in a house on White Avenue. Perfect setup. Go to dinner, go to the Strip, and safely walk home from the bar. Fun times.

Yesterday was the Kentucky Derby and I watched the race from a hospital room at East TN Children's Hospital. Last night, at 3 am, my son was getting a breathing treatment after having removed an oxygen mask from his face. Talk about life change. 

Once he was settled and back to sleep - sans oxygen - I began to think about our life all those years ago. At the time, I didn't want children. I made it very clear to Altman when we started dating. I had never wanted them. He was fine with it and wasn't sure he wanted kids himself. 

Once we dated awhile and started talking marriage, we decided that we would set a time frame on kids. My sister had kids by then and we really enjoyed being with them and could both see a change of heart on that whole "no kids, retire early" plan. We married and gave ourselves 5 years to do whatever we wanted then make the decision. The decision was unanimous on both sides and came at unexpected time and in an unexpected conversation. During the chat, I made mention of "when we have kids" and Altman looked up and smiled and said, "I was thinking the same thing."

It isn't easy. My joke for the first year was that every day Jackson woke up and every night he went to bed was a success. Seriously. We didn't and still don't have any idea what we are doing. We have been blessed with a good kid and hope that the next is even half as cool as Jackson.

I never expected easy. I don't know what I expected but I knew raising a child would be hard. And, I don't do anything half-way so I have made a point that my family is first - always.

This weekend has been hard. I am 30 weeks pregnant and more tired than I have ever been in my life - everyday. Somedays I struggle to stay awake while others I struggle to remember my name. Yes, pregnancy brain is real. 

There was no sleep on Friday night. I held my 41" tall, 37 lb child in my arms like a baby while he cried. We were ready to head to the ER when we called and were directed to wait until the doctor's office opened. We did. That visit was a whirlwind. The doctor was very concerned and basically made up his mind when we arrived to send us to Children's. 10+ breathing treatments, two doses of steroids, oxygen, and others meds later, Jackson is in the playroom with Jason while I write. Yesterday, he cried for me over and over even while I held him all day and was so, so sick. Today, he seems much better and we can hopefully go home soon.

I always come back to the question, "Would I trade a minute of this?" Nope. Not a chance. I might complain or whine somedays (nope, pregnancy isn't easy either) but even in the hardest of times, there is special relationship between mother and child. I love this kid in a way that I had no idea was even possible. My love for his father is stronger today than yesterday because we are in this together and truly compliment one another in good times and bad.

Today, if I am awake at 3 am, it probably isn't for good times. And although being in the hospital with a sick child isn't an ideal situation, I am lucky to be able to have these experiences and raise such a cool little guy. I look forward to getting him better, going home, and getting rest. For now, I am going to head to the playroom and play trains.

Incomprehensible

This has been a long week and a longer weekend. I would like to complain. I don't like to complain publicly (I save it for Altman) but I would really feel so much better if I could just complain - out loud - to anyone who would listen.

But, I won't. You can thank me later.

I am going to reflect on what an incomprehensible week we had last week. I woke up early on Monday and got in my elliptical workout. I took off for work and promptly at 10 am, I pulled up the Boston Marathon on one of the many tabs on my 2nd monitor at work. I could listen to info on the leaders while I worked on various projects and emails to clients.

It was great. The women's leader for a time was way out in front and I kept saying to myself that she was going to lose that lead. And, she did. Heartbreaking for her. I watched as Shalane Flannagan and Kara Goucher crossed the finish line and got a little teary when announcers talked about the winner having taken time off for maternity leave. Of course she did...and she came back to win the Boston Marathon. Awesome.

I had an afternoon meeting and headed to Panera to work when it was over.

Earlier in the day, I had gotten a note from one of our local sports reporters asking for a list of locals running Boston. I had Jason pull the list and while sending it to her, she emailed to ask if I had seen the news about Boston...

The rest of the day was hectic. Texts, emails, Facebook posts and more to try to locate Knoxville runners. No, I am not the Director for KTC anymore but runners are my family and have been for years. I may not be attending all the races these days but I know most of the local runners either personally or by name. They are now and always will be our family.

I couldn't catch my breath for most of the afternoon. There was this great feeling of helplessness for our friends, for the spectators and runners we didn't know, for the volunteers, and for the staff of the Boston Marathon.

I picked up Jackson from pre-school and fought back tears all afternoon. He could see that I was "sad" and I told him that someone had been mean to some runners but that our friends were fine.

As I sat down for dinner, I heard the news that an 8-year-old boy had died. I lost it. I sobbed uncontrollably.

How can I raise this child (and another coming soon) in this world? How am I supposed to protect him? Schools aren't safe and now race finish lines might not be safe.

I can't count the finish lines that Jackson and I have waited for Jason or that Jason and Jackson have waited for me. I can't count the times that Jason has finished a race and come to find us, hugged us, and took off on a cool-down or the other way around.

From what I heard, that was the story...the father finished, hugged the family, and headed to post-race when the explosions happened. I haven't taken the time to verify that information so if it is wrong then I apologize. Even if the son and mom and sister were just waiting and hadn't seen the dad, it is still devastating. And, unfair.

I have been to the Boston Marathon finish line. I was 26 or 27 weeks pregnant with Jackson and we traveled there so that Jason could run. I started my day at the finish line and moved a bit to meet a friend so we could watch together. Looking at the photos and video make my heart ache. What if we had decided to go this year?

We won't stop racing. We won't stop going to events. We won't lock ourselves in our house and shy away because there is crazy in the world. However, as I look ahead, I have to question how are going to do this?

How do you teach your child to be friendly but not talk to strangers? How do you teach your child to look for things that might be "out of place" or to be on alert for strangers at any given location? Or how to react to someone with a gun at school or church or the grocery store or the park? Or, what to do if a bomb goes off at a finish line?

This is a tough world and tough times. None of us are safe.

I gave myself a few days to grieve. To grieve for the victims and for all of the volunteers and staff that were there that have been affected so deeply by that day.

Similar to the rest of the nation, I gave a little cheer when officers took Suspect #2 into custody and now I wait for answers. I don't know if we'll get the answers we are looking for or not but I will wait because I want to know why in the world these two brothers did this.

I used to laugh that every day that Jackson wakes up and goes to bed is a success. That was mostly a joke about myself and my lack of parenting knowledge. Now, it isn't as funny. Every day that he wakes up and every day that he goes to bed really is a success. That means that things went well enough in between to give us one more day with him.

I hope we have a lifetime of days together.

There is a lot of good in this world. I know that and I look forward to it every day. I try to be part of it. I hope that we can teach our children to be kind, loving, and to help others.

Last week was incomprehensible. There isn't a better word for me to use to describe it.

But, tomorrow, I will get up and workout. I will get Jackson out of bed and we'll snuggle and watch cartoons before school. We'll dive back into our normal routine and we'll move forward.

We won't forget last Monday but we'll live and run with a renewed reason to cross the start line and the finish line of many more days and many more races.

Small Wins!

Life is a marathon. It isn't a sprint. Each day, month, and year is full of miles and miles.

Whether you are a Mom or Dad, if you work full-time or manage a household, or whatever you do in life - your days are made up of increments of time and activities. Personally, I am a mom, wife, athlete and I work a full-time job (oh yeah, and I am 1,000,000 weeks pregnant). In an effort to be the best version of me, I have been taking time to notice the days as they go by and trying to reflect on each one so that I learn something new and try not to make the same mistakes twice.

In my observations, I have been thinking about the daily wins and losses...Worked out and showered before waking toddler. High five for me and win #1 for the day. Kid ate breakfast. Another high five. That would be win #2 for the day. Got kid, self, and husband out the door on time. That is like a hat trick. Cheers all around please. Forgot to bring coffee to work. Bummer. That is a big loss. But, didn't get killed driving to work on Alcoa Highway. Total win. The list goes on and on. The day is broken into small battles, races, games, or whatever you choose to use as your analogy. Each little part results in a win or a loss.

I am not huge on self promotion. Once in awhile, I will post on FB a great workout or race accomplishment and sometimes I will post my articles when I write for the paper. I would rather post a pic of my adorable child or talk about something my fab husband has done.

But, last week, my wins outnumbered my losses in a big way.

Not only did I work my full-time job but I worked every night on my community volunteer activities. And not just a little bit. I got a lot done and that was really cool. There are some great events happening this spring and I was worried about my participation and availability but after last week, I am feeling good about them.

Not only did I get my job work done and my community work done BUT I had dinner for every night of the week for my family and my kid was never neglected or left asking when mommy would play with him because I was there for that too.

I worked out 5 out of 7 days and the only reason it wasn't more is because I popped a rib out of place and was too sore the day after getting it fixed to workout early. I had coffee with a friend and got to discuss some fabulous ideas for our community and ways to increase outdoor activity (which we all know if my fave). I got a birthday present for a weekend birthday party and its presentation was actually pretty (as opposed to my usual terrible wrapping jobs). And, we got to enjoy visiting with those friends for a great deal of time yesterday.

These are daily life activities but I got them done and completed without fighting, crying, or any other angst that might go along with daily life when one is busy.

It wasn't all great. The toddler threw a huge tantrum on Wednesday when I picked him up that resulted in us taking away a few of his favorite things. That is never good for any of us. On two nights, he lost stars (from his weekly star chart) for not eating dinner. I had to spend over an hour of my workday on Thursday getting my back fixed when said rib popped out of place. The only reason I went that day was because I couldn't turn my head which made driving/merging in traffic a bit difficult.

I have no idea what will happen this week. I may not get a single item accomplished. I suppose that would even out last week's triumphs. That is life. We go mile after mile after mile and sometimes we win the race and sometimes we lose.

I am celebrating and discussing because when things click into place then they are worth mentioning. I didn't cure cancer last week. I didn't save anyone's life. I didn't win a race.

I did work to provide for my family. I did volunteer work to help upcoming events that will affect our community. I played with my kid, read to him, and taught him the value of hard work and hopefully good manners. I worked out for myself and baby Altman #2 who will be here this summer. I supported my husband in his job, his training, and in our life.

Speaking of my husband, I don't (and couldn't) do this alone. Jason is incredible and has helped keep our life moving along. We have to do this together or else we would still be standing at our start line wondering where everyone went. We have always provided a great deal of balance for one another and the spring is always a time of great stress for our household. But, we do it together and it works - it isn't always pretty but heck that is no big deal.

Our life isn't charmed and it isn't easy. We were lucky to find one another many years ago. We recognize that we were/are lucky and we make it point to work with one another at all times. We work our behinds off every day of the week, of the month, and of each year to have our life. We may never get to retire and that is okay by me. We do have fun but we do have days where we wish we could have a restart. We celebrate the victories because they mean a lot in the grand scheme of our marathon life together.

For now, I am going to bed. 5:45 am is coming early and I have a long day ahead and three weeks ahead of me. I have a lot on my plate between now and the time Baby #2 is born (and beyond then really). Some days my wins will outnumber my losses and other days, I will bring up the rear and just hope to finish.

See you on the roads....

Oh Happy Day!

I hope when you read this, you have been outside in the BEAUTIFUL weather. Wowza. What a day. The only thing is missing is the ability to have a glass of wine on the back porch this evening but hey, I can do that again in July. I suppose I will have lemonade instead today.

I truly think that weather has such an impact on people and their attitudes. Everyone seems so happy and friendly today.

Jackson is snoozing now and I need to wake him up. He played so hard today that I am sure he is exhausted.

We met Jason at the park so that I could run and they could play. I had a great run with a friend and did 3 in 29 minutes. That does count the walk breaks - and yes, there were several. And no, I am not trying to hit a certain pace. I am just letting my body tell me when to walk or stop or run.

After a family lunch, Altman took off to paint green arrows around the city and we headed home.We changed clothes and hit another park where Jackson promptly made a new friend.

His new little friend was a 5 year old who was a bit a bossy. My cool kid played well and when the bossy kid wanted him to do something that was out of his ability then Jackson redirected. When the kid got extra bossy, Jackson said, "Nope, don't want to do that." Happy day for mommy. I hope my kid is always strong enough to say no when something doesn't seem right to him. It might sound like an exaggeration but if he won't be bullied on a playground at 3.5 then hopefully he'll be the same when some kid is shoving pills or whatever in his face in 10 years.

Next up, maybe walking the dogs and then hitting the grocery store. It has been a crazy long, hectic week and I needed a low stress day to re-energize. This has been that day. I am very much enjoying the new schedule and being able to spend more time with Jackson (and Altman as soon as the CHKM is over).

Today is a happy day. The goal in 2013 is to recognize every single day the things that make me happy. There are many and it is easy to get busy and wrapped up in life and forget to really recognize our blessings. I am blessed with a healthy and happy child, a healthy and happy husband, and a healthy (and hopefully happy) growing child, and I am also healthy and happy. I am blessed with some awesome opportunities and looking forward to great things to come.

Oh happy day. Now get back out there and enjoy this fabulous Saturday.

A little sigh of relief

Having a baby is stressful if you think about it. As the mother, I am wholly responsible for this little being's life until he is born. Then, I get to share the responsibility. Until then, the work falls on me.

Fine, I am giving up my body. I am slow and not running far and I was dead on my feet sick from November until the end of January. Literally. If you saw me or talked to me, I was probably smiling on the outside but absolutely dying on the inside. I have heartburn, I have to sleep on my left side, and I am slowly losing the ability to tie my running shoes without some kind of weird maneuver. I am hormonal and a wee bit grumpy.

All of those things are totally superficial. No doubt about it. The reward at the end of this 9 month training program is beyond priceless. This summer I will go back to running without losing my breath so quickly, I will be able to see my feet, I will be able to carry Jackson more easily, and  hopefully my heartburn goes away.

The worrisome part is thinking about the food you eat, what you drink, your sleep habits, and how everything you do may or may not affect the child and their growth in some way.You can't think on it too much or you'll go crazy.

There are things you have to do in pregnancy that are obvious:
Stop Drinking Alcohol - Done
No Contact Sports - Done
Don't exercise in an anaerobic state - Done
Wear your seat belt - Easy
Take your vitamins - Done

There are other things that are out there that can make your head spin. Don't eat under-cooked meat, don't eat deli meat (unless cooked to a specific temperature), don't eat certain fish, watch your caffeine intake, and many more.

I eat pretty well in my regular life so food wasn't a big deal for me. I like a medium rare steak with a glass of red wine. So, no wine and we'll go medium instead of medium rare. I eat a well balanced diet and actually mostly gluten free so my nutrition should be fine.

Where I worry myself are the things I can't really control. Will he have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Will he have all of his organs? Will his heart have four chambers? I can't really do a thing to make sure those happen except to pray and hope for the best.

So, each ultrasound is very, very important to me and although very little in life makes me nervous...waiting for an ultrasound will drive me crazy.

At 20 weeks with Jackson, we discovered that his right foot was a club foot. The only thing we could do was to talk to his future orthopedic doctor and wait. Everything came out fine. He was casted for several weeks, had a surgery at 5 weeks, casted for three more weeks, and wore some special little shoes for a while. His right foot is a little shorter than his left foot but that will never impede his ability to play sports and no one will ever know about the foot unless we tell them.

Yesterday, we had the same anatomy ultrasound for Baby #2. This is also a big one because you find out the gender of your child. Our ultrasound tech at 12 weeks told us that this was a boy so we had that info going in. I have to admit that I was pretty irritated heading into the appointment. I had been waiting for 45 minutes because they "were just running late"and no one bothered to tell me. Already nervous, the long wait time did not sit well with me. When we got to the room and they were ready to go, I thought to myself...Will he be there (yes, even though I can feel him already)? How is this going to turn out?

Turns out that Little Altman 2 is growing just fine. Legs, arms, feet, hands, nose, lips, chin, 4 chambers to the heart, and more. It is all there and developing on schedule. Whew. A sigh of relief. Now we will wait several weeks before we see him again on ultrasound. Until then, I have pictures proving to me that he is in fact real and that we've made it half way.

I am sure tomorrow I will start the worry process of finishing the second half of this pregnancy. Until then, I will breath another little sigh of relief and celebrate the journey so far.

No two are the same..........

So, "they" say no two pregnancies are the same.

"They" are right. I had a fairly uneventful pregnancy with Jackson until the end. The little guy decided he was ready to see the world and tried to come at 33.5 weeks. He was successfully stopped (for a moment) and made his debut at 36.5 weeks. Other than that and heartburn, things were pretty smooth.

I didn't even really worry when we saw the club foot at a mid-pregnancy ultrasound and knew that correcting it was going to be a long haul. After talking to his future pediatric orthopedic doc, I was calm about the whole thing.

I am not sure if I notice more stuff this time around but I am definitely more anxious. I've discussed it with several friends and I think it is probably because I know how great a beautiful, healthy child is and maybe I am more anxious because I am older this time. Either way, I am totally unsettled with this one.

I consider myself to be fairly tough. I don't mind running in the rain and cold (sometimes at the same time). I don't mind running on ice or in the snow. I worked from the hospital the day Jackson was born. I ran 7 days after he was born. When I was in college, I slept outside, in the cold, on concrete to get football tickets (yes, I am old and at one time, we had to do those things). I worked 23 hours straight on a football Saturday once. You get the picture...I try to do my thing, not whine, and get stuff done. I've always wondered about the women who have had terrible pregnancies and I felt bad for them....little did I know.....

Pregnancy number two has been hard for me so far. I have been terribly sick. The nausea has been almost debilitating on some days. I have done my best to hide it and in turn have done a lot of complaining and whining to Altman and my closest friends. (sorry bout that...love you guys!)

I was sick all night last night. I didn't sleep well and was nauseous from the time I laid down until this morning. I am still sick. I took a two hour nap already and still don't feel good. I will hit the grocery store and probably nap again. Likely there is no workout in my future for today. If I thought it would make me feel better then I would do it but I don't see that with how I feel today. That is okay. Baby come first in this instance.

Pregnancy is crazy. I thought I knew it. I knew I would be tired. I knew I would have heartburn. I knew my pace would slow down but anticipated that my mileage would still be decent. I knew that I would eat more. I knew that my belly would get big and round near the end.

Honestly, I don't know pregnancy #2 at all. I am 15 weeks in and every day is a new adventure and I just wait to feel/see whatever will happen next...some articles and professionals say the nausea should stop around 12 weeks (that obviously didn't happen) and lots of people that I know say that they didn't feel better til after 14, 16, 17, or 18 weeks. I will keep you posted. For now, I need to buy groceries and play with my toddler. Happy Sunday.

My new Favorite Workout

Even though I am preggers and my abs literally gave up at the first positive pregnancy test, it is still very important to me to stay fit and healthy til little Altman #2 makes his debut. From my previous experience, I felt better and I was able to get back to working out just days after Jackson was born. I am hopeful for the same this time around.

The glitch is that I lose my breath really easily when working out. Docs say it is very normal and due to hormones. So, I am not running like I did with Jackson and definitely not running like I did before I was pregnant. I had hoped to keep a long run of 8 to 10 miles for a while but tossed that notion out the window in December. The longest I have run in weeks is 6 miles. So, I have been doing a lot of yoga and a lot of elliptical and a lot of strength training and a lot of treadmill intervals. Luckily, we have a treadmill here so I can jump on whenever and catch a workout.

I found a new favorite. It is challenging but not so much that I would put myself or the baby in danger. And, I get an awesome workout. And, eventually it can be adjusted for when I am running and training again post baby. If you are pregnant or even recovering from injury, make sure to talk to your doctor first about your routine. That is super important. My doc and I talk every time about my workouts and I always adjust if he feels it necessary.

Here it is:


Minutes Speed Incline
0 to 3:30 4 0
3:30 to 5 6 0
5 to 6 4 2
6 to 7 4 4
7 to 8 6.5 4
8 to 9 4 4
9 to 10 6.3 4
10 to 11 4 5
11 to 12 6.1 5
12 to 13 4 6
13 to 14 6.1 6
14 to 15 3.7 7
15 to 16 5.9 7
16 to 17 3.7 8
17 to 18 5.8 8
18 to 19 3.7 9
19 to 20 5.7 9
20 to 21 3.5 10
21 to 22 5.5 10
22 to 23 3.5 11
23 to 24 5.3 11
24 to 25 3.5 12
25 to 26 5 12
26 to 27 3.5 0
27 to 28 4 0
28 to 29 3.5 4
29 to 30 5.8 4
30 to 31 3.5 6
31 to 32 5.7 6
32 to 33 3.5 8
33 to 34 5.6 8
34 to 35 3.5 9
35 to 36 5.4 9
36 to 37 3.5 10
37 to 38 5.2 10
38 to 39 3.5 11
39 to 40 5.1 11
40 to 41 3.5 12
41 to 42 5 12
42 to 45 0 0

If you are running then you could up the pace on the run segments as stick with the 4 as your recovery pace. This is based on our treadmill. I think gym treadmills can up to an incline of 15 so you can adjust using those as well. 

I follow it up with some yoga including planks, moving to side planks with breath, down dog to plank, low lunge, lunge, balance warrior, and then some poses for flexibility.

Enjoy and I will see you on the trails!

Special Addition

If you haven't heard, The Altman Family will welcome our 4th member this summer. We've tried to be more guarded this time around and keep it to ourselves. I understand that the information has innocently been leaked by a few folks before we could really make the announcement. That's okay. Life goes on.

Let's first address something that some of you may be thinking. No, I did not quit my job at KTC because I am pregnant. If you know me at all, you know that I like to work and that I certainly don't shy away from hard work while growing a child inside my body (think Fast 40 dash when I was 33 weeks pregnant and I worked most of the day for Fireball that year even though I was supposed to be resting). I am leaving KTC for many, many reasons but being pregnant is not one of them.

Second, my apologies for the lies about running. Nope. You won't see me lacing up my flats anytime soon. Heck, you may not see me lacing up my trainers anytime soon. I hope you understand the little white lies. You know me as a runner. However, I am more like a run/interval kind of gal these days. I am enjoying a lot of time on the elliptical and a lot of time doing yoga and lifting weights. 

We are thrilled about our newest addition. He is due on July 15 and yes, the ultrasound tech is pretty positive it is a boy. He gave us a great show at the 12 week ultrasound.

We have been wanting to add to the family for a good deal of time but life factors have prevented us from getting pregnant. In late 2011, we had gotten positive pregnancy tests and were thrilled only to have that pregnancy not work out. It was devastating. So, this time, we have been very cautious. I am still very anxious and although the ultrasounds and blood work look great, I won't be fully relieved until I hold him in my arms.

So, if you see me around, yes, I have gained weight. I don't really have a choice and am actually so happy to be able to fit into some maternity wear now because my regular clothes stopped fitting weeks ago.

I told you, 2013 is going to be a great year for me and meeting our new little guy is just one way to make that statement true. Stay tuned for some blogs on exercising while pregnant, starting a new job (I hope!) while pregnant, and juggling all of that life has to offer this year.

Peace.

Guest Blog! Altman's 2012 Chickamauga Marathon Recap

It is time for another guest blog from Mr. Altman. He recently won the 2012 Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon.

Redemption at Chickamauga
After winning the 2010 Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon, I felt a certain obligation to go back in 2011.  “Defend the title” if you will.  Plus the competitive side of me liked the thought of being called “Repeat Champion.”  I spent early summer of 2011 injured.  I developed Achilles Tendonitis in my right leg that kept me from running for six weeks from June to July.  When I finally got back to training, I had a small hitch in my giddy-up that caused some hamstring soreness in the late miles of all my long training runs.  Nonetheless, I was able to get through three 20 mile runs and several workouts that fall, so I decided to stick with it and try the marathon again.  The conceited side of me thought that if I had run 2:39:44 before, then I could at least match that while coming off injury and a little less trained.  I went out at the same pace I did in 2010; 6 minutes a mile.  At mile 18, my hamstring started to tighten up and I had to slow to 7 minutes a mile for the remainder of the marathon.  As a result, I led the race for 22 miles until I was passed by James Pearce (who won in 2:39:51).  I still managed to get second in 2:45:59, but finishing the race was the accomplishment that day.  I had to spend more than 30 minutes in the medical tent.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kristy so panicked or scared in my life.
I thought about that race for 364 days.  It is easy to remember the wins.  When everything goes as planned, you can celebrate and move on to the next goal.  When things fall apart, you spend countless hours rehashing what you could have done differently and what you would do should you be given that opportunity again.
I was healthy all of 2012.  I trained more that summer than I ever have before.  More miles.  Faster miles.  Determined miles.  Not a run went by that I didn’t think about getting passed after leading for 22 miles.  I set personal bests in the 8K (26:59 at Pigeon Forge Midnight 8K) and half marathon (1:12:47 at Columbus Half Marathon) in tune-ups prior to the 2012 Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon.  I went into race day confident.  I wanted to run my race.  I wanted to start off relaxed, and finish strong.  I wanted to hit that 18 mile mark and feel healthy.  I wanted to get to 22 miles and push the throttle.  I wanted to cross the line and immediately hug my wife and son.
When the cannon sounded, two men went out ahead of me; both of them were running the half marathon.  I keyed off them but kept my distance as they were running just slightly faster than I wanted to run.  My first 6 mile splits looked like this: 5:56, 6:01, 5:56, 5:55, 5:56, 6:01.  Right after the six mile mark, the half marathoners went one way, the full marathoners went another.  The bike lead who was picking me up said “I guess you’re my guy.”  “Yep,” I said.  “Just you and me.” 
As I followed him, my next two miles were 5:56 and 5:58.  At mile eight, the marathon course takes an out and back section.  It is approximately half of a mile in one direction, so the whole section is one mile once you have doubled back.  I was exiting that section as the second place runner was entering.  I knew at that point that I was exactly a mile ahead, and at least 6 minutes ahead.  Miles 9-14 were 5:57, 6:04, 6:00, 5:54, 6:01, 5:55.  Just after mile 14, I saw Kristy at the northernmost point of the Battlefield loop.  She told me I looked great.  I smiled, nodded my head, and kept on.  Miles 15-18 looked like this: 5:58, 5:59, 5:57, 6:06.  This is at the southernmost point of the loop which happens to be the hilliest section of the course.  The 6:06 split for 18 made me a bit nervous, but I took a deep breath, remembered how I had felt a year earlier, and focused on the job at hand.  I would see Kristy again just before mile 20; keep on pace until then, and then go from there.  Mile 19 was 6:02.  I saw Kristy at 19.5 and knew that the next time I would see her would be at the finish line.  Mile 20 was 6:01.
As anyone who has run a marathon before knows, the last 10K can be just as difficult as the first 20 miles.  The huge advantage to a double loop course, in my opinion, is that I am passing lots of half marathoners at this point in the race.  They were great.  All of them cheering me on and shouting words of encouragement.  Mile 21 was a 6:12.  At 21.5, I am again exiting that out and back section.  There is no sign of the second place runner.  I know that I am at least a mile (and at least 6 minutes) ahead of second place.  My guess was that I had doubled that gap since the first time going in and out of that section.  I wasn’t feeling great.  And I knew with the advantage that I had, that even pulling off the throttle some would enable me to coast in for a victory.  The worst thing to do at this point is overdo it and end up not being able to finish the race.  Mile 22 was another 6:12.  Even though I wasn’t feeling great (of course not…it was mile 22 of a marathon!), as I passed that exact spot that James Pearce had passed me the year before, I felt a sense of rejuvenation.  Finish strong.  Let’s do this.  Mile 23 was a 6:07.  Mile 24 was a 6:05.  During the last two miles, the course exits the Battlefield loop and goes through an off-road section that was rocky, muddy, and slippery.  Nonetheless, I was passing tons of half marathoners and felt the synergy between them, the spectators, and myself.  Mile 25 was a 6:16.  Mile 26 was a 6:28.  I rounded the corner onto Barnhardt Circle with a completely different feeling than I had had the year before.  As I turned to the finish line, I saw Kristy and Jackson about 50 yards short of the line.  She was cheering but screaming at me.  I recognized the scream and knew it meant one of only two things: There was a guy on my heels, or I was about to hit a significant time goal.  Either way, I had to hammer it home.  I ran the last 0.2 at a 5:41 pace; good enough to hit the line in 2:38:52.  As soon as I finished, I gave my wife a hug and a kiss.  I kneeled down and gave Jackson a hug and put the finisher medal around his neck.  I felt amazing.  I felt redeemed.  I felt fresh.  I even played with Jackson on the bounce houses less than an hour later.  Second place ended up being 2:56.  While I didn’t have anyone pushing me on that day, it was a day that I was not going to be denied.
As I write this, it has been six weeks since I won that race.  I don’t have any regrets about my training, my race plan, or my performance this time.  Some days I remember “I won a marathon recently.”  Some days I don’t.

Goodbye 2012!

Time for reflection. We've said good-bye to 2012 and hello to 2013. Time to look back at some of the fun.

In January, I had the privilege of watching the BEST distance runners in the US at the Olympic Trials for the Marathon in Houston. I met and talked to Meb Keflezighi and Deena Kastor. I ran a half marathon in Houston and got to meet tons of other Race and Event Directors from around the country.

In February, I raced a 5K which I hardly do and was beaten at the line. It was a tough race and the other gal and I ran shoulder to shoulder (literally) from the half way point to the end. It was a learning experience and a fun time.

As usual in the spring, I was honored to help with the Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon. Each year at the start, I shed tears of excitement for the runners and as the proud wife of Jason Altman who works tirelessly all year to organize the event. To bring all those logistics together and get all those people to the start line is simply amazing.

I have watched Jackson grow from a babbling 2 year old to a well spoken 3+ year old with a lot of valid questions and a LOT to say (per his own words). He has made me laugh and cry. He has given me strength and confidence and a new sense of who I am and what I want.

I watched my sweet boy go from wearing diapers to "pee-peeing standing up." I watched him last week walk to the fridge, open it, and get out food he wanted to eat. He is growing so fast.

I have connected more with friends. I have made new friends. I have had experiences that caused me to step out of my comfort zone.

I talked a lot about change and life. I wondered if I had the strength to make change and found that I did.

I resigned my from job with KTC. I decided that the stress, time demands, and overall schedule were too much. I wasn't enjoying the job and while so many thought I would never leave, I have. And, I haven't regretted the decision for a single second.

I decided that I missed teaching yoga and called around looking for a class or two. I was delighted to receive positive responses and am looking forward to getting back to teaching.

I was fortunate to be part of Medals4Mettle this year and have given out dozens of earned medals to children who are working hard to live.

2012 wasn't so bad. I believe that 2013 will be awesome. I am grateful for the experiences of 2012 - good and bad. I am grateful for all of the things I have learned and I am so grateful for my husband and child and for their support.

In 2013, I have already worked my last road race and will start teaching yoga again next week.  2013 is going to be a good year and I look forward to January 2014 when I can reflect on all the fun I've had.