Gatlinburg

My heart hearts today and I just feel sad. I was hoping to perk up a little but I can't turn off the TV and I can't get my mind to stop seeing the images on TV and social media. I've done pretty well holding in my tears but writing this may send me over the edge.

The wild fires are breaking my heart. The news coverage is breaking my heart. It's all bringing back emotions that I haven't felt this strongly in years.

My father was burned over 75% of his body when I was in middle school. He went to work, the building blew up (it was a construction site at a chemical plant), and life was never the same. Our family was never the same. That's the short version of the story. I no longer have a relationship with my parents (that's a whole other long story) but I imagine that to this day, he's still affected by his accident.

The story from that night is that he came out of the building on fire. A co-worker pushed him down to put out the fire but he came in contact with chemicals that also burned him. From what I remember from the stories, he was awake and in shock until EMS arrived and doesn't remember getting in the ambulance or anything after for some time.

He was in the hospital for weeks and then recovery took years.

That was middle school. It was awful and so, so hard on everyone.

My senior year of high school, just after attending a funeral for a classmate, my aunt died in a house fire. It was an electrical fire. A little bit of peace comes from the fact that firefighters told my family that she wouldn't have suffered and likely died immediately. Inhaling the smoke would have knocked her out. Three inhales and she was likely dead. I didn't see the house on fire but I saw it the day after and then throughout the rebuild process. It was a total loss.

Friends with the fire department gave me details that I really shouldn't have heard. Those details were too much for a 17 year old girl. I think they thought it would be helpful but it wasn't and they've stuck with me for years.

In college, one of the houses in the gravel lot where I lived burned on a cold, snowy day. No one was hurt but friends lost most of their stuff. It was crazy to see the flames set against snow.

I could barely make myself go to bed last night and I didn't sleep. I knew I wouldn't sleep thinking about all of those people trying to find safety.

Not only have we watched our precious mountains burn and burn and burn but now, so many people's lives have been set on a new path. And it is a new path that isn't going to be easy.

Even when the new stories slow down, homes and businesses will take time to rebuild. Families will need time to heal.

Please give. Send money. Pray if you pray or just send positive vibes if you aren't a praying person. And don't forget about these people affected by this terrible situation. Our newsfeeds will go back to being political and full of nastiness within a few days but each day, try to remember how lucky you are regardless of your current situation.

For now, I'm going to donate to the Red Cross and instead of complaining about the toys all over my floor, I think I'll play trains with the boys when they get home because I have a home and I have many trains and for this moment, we are safe.

Life

It's been a bit since I posted and this is a bit long but I plan to blog more often and to make them shorter in the future!

Many of us use Facebook and Instagram to showcase life. Some of it's real and some isn't. I believe that for every great picture, there are at least 10-15 that were awful. That's the Altman Family reality so I don't believe for one minute that your kids really sit on your lap on the porch/beach/dock/dinner table and smile easily for the camera. If they do then you need to call me and give me all your secrets. And even then, I don't think I'll believe you.

I've had a good amount of time to scroll Facebook/Instagram and it's given me a chance to think about real life and what I've been doing and what's in the future.

My time for reflection stemmed from a "be careful what you wish for" scenario, I was literally just crying sometime over the weekend (maybe when I washing vomit filled sheets or trying to get the smell out of the house) that I just wanted 5 minutes....5 minutes to do nothing. 5 minutes to sit and not have a child tackle me or ask me for food. 5 minutes to stop looking at emails and stop planning and organizing and doing. Just 5 minutes.....

I got 5 minutes alright. Not exactly the way I wanted or how I planned but that's real life.

It's been a wild few days. I'm recovering from some monster sickness that may have been the flu or may have been a bug. I suppose it could have been strep since Jackson had it but honestly we'll never know a diagnosis.

I didn't go to the doctor. Why you ask? There was no time until I was super sick and by then, I just couldn't bear to get up to go and I probably couldn't have driven myself.

I was too busy being super mom and caring for two sick boys, trying to keep up with the laundry (mission not accomplished), work, more work, and cook and still do my usual life stuff. In my head, if I didn't keep going and do it all then the world would end and I'd be a failure at life.

So, by mid-day on Monday, I couldn't get off the sofa. Literally - I couldn't stand up. I haven't been that kind of sick since 2009.

That's my life this week and before that, I've been in a funk.

I *thought* I might be on the mend and healing when I sprained my ankle in early August. It's still sore and a bit swollen at times. I now well aware that there will be no half marathon for me in December. There may never be another half marathon. My body doesn't seem to hold up anymore. And truthfully, I'm over trying and trying again only to be hurt and disappointed.

For weeks and maybe until today, I saw this as a failure at life and possibly even at my job. But now, I see it as an opportunity to try new things. Certainly a little more yoga in my life would be beneficial and maybe I'll finally stop by Terri Durbin's and grab a SUP to try out. I'll still run. I'll always run as long as my legs and hips will let me. But, I no longer plan to keep track of workouts and think about races. For now - at least - I'm going to focus on being the healthiest version of me.

See, in my head, I've been stuck on the fact that if I'm to lead a running organization then I have to be a great runner and log miles and care about times. But I don't. I haven't in a long time. Altman cares about his miles and times and races and I appreciate that and I respect that, but I could care less about my own. I felt that way before I got pregnant with Karson and I've basically been forcing myself for over 3 years to find my way back to training and racing with no progress.

I don't have to be a stellar runner to be the ED for KTC. I do have to know how to operate a nonprofit and manage all the pieces and parts of a large organization and I do my best and I think that most days I do it well. Being a recreational runner is totally fine. That's real life - learning to understand where you are and how to be happy.

I create these situations a lot. I'm my own worst critic and I always have been. I didn't come from parents who gave me unconditional positive reinforcement and sometimes I paint a "Norman Rockwell" in my head (you know...the perfect picture/scenario/outcome) and get into a funk when I don't meet my own expectations for life.

That's life and who I have been.

I've done this as a wife, mother, friend, employee and in all situations. But, it stops now.

I'll be 40 in a couple of weeks and with all this time to reflect, I'm looking ahead.

I'm going to do my best as a wife. After more than 14 years together (I think - I had to count on my fingers so I may be off a year), Altman is still my favorite. I would never trade a date night with him for anyone else. He's still my first thought in the morning and when things go well or go terribly. I'll make mistakes but I want nothing more than for him to be happy.

I'm going to do my best as a mom. I screw that up daily but so far, they are both still alive so that has to count for something. It's a marathon and not a sprint - for them as individuals and for us as a family. Those two boys are my heart and soul and I'll make them mad and there will be days (maybe weeks) when we aren't friends but the goal is to teach them to be responsible humans. I'll continue to screw up daily but I think we'll be okay. (Fingers crossed and few prayers would be appreciated just in case.)

I'm blessed with some amazing friends. Luckily the ones that have stuck with me all these years understand that I'm going to screw up. Go back to the whole parental thing but I wasn't really taught how to be a good friend. I've learned from others over the years and I do my best. I've had to distance myself from some friends over the years and I've had others distance themselves from me. That's just life. We grow and become different people and sometimes friendships aren't meant to last a lifetime. But, my goal is to do my best and see where it leads with the sweet humans that I call friend right now.

I have great jobs. My work with KTC is hard and is ever-changing and evolving. This is not the same job I had in 2009 and definitely not the same job I came back to in 2014. It's more complex and much harder. But, we're doing so much more and making a mark for health and well-being in this community. I'm also lucky to still do some consulting work with nonprofits. Both are fulfilling and rewarding. That said, I'm going to screw up. I don't have all of the answers and sometimes my choices aren't the most popular. That's life. I do the best I can and I make decisions on information that I have and sometimes it will be popular and sometimes I'll get hate mail.

At the end of the day, this is life. It's real. It's messy and ugly and hard but also beautiful and fun and full of love and laughter. There are tears. Lots of tears. It's not that perfect profile pic on Facebook (that was it's 4th attempt by the way) but it's wild and challenging and I wouldn't trade it.

Finally, I'm looking forward to 40. The 30's were so much better than my 20's so I can only imagine what the next decade will bring. I hope you'll come along with me and see where it leads.

Changing My Mind Set

Steroids will really mess with you. For me, they keep me up all night. It's worth the trade off so that my face doesn't feel like someone is pounding it with a 2 x 4 and it allows me time while everyone is asleep to think and be still. I am grateful for the steroids and grateful to have time to continue to think about how to best take care of myself.

Over the last several months, I've been slowly making some changes. The changes resulted from waking up several times last year and feeling overwhelmed by my schedule. Each day, I'd look at the next day and realize that there was literally no time. For anything. I would get the kids and Jason out to school, workout, shower, and head out the door for meetings. Lots of meetings. Lots of work and community service meetings. Then, I'd head home and make dinner and go through bedtime routines. By the time we get Karson to bed then it's time for us to go to bed.

People would say, "You are amazing. I don't know how you do it all."

But I wasn't doing it all. Where was time to read a book? Shop? Decorate the new house? Just simply sit on my porch and have a cup of coffee? No time for any of those.

I'm beyond blessed. I have been given opportunities that I never dreamed of having when I was a child. I would love to do it "all" but that's just not feasible. I have two kiddos and a husband. I don't plan to really ever retire so there's plenty of time for all of the "extras" because life is a marathon and not a sprint.

Going back, I couldn't just drop all of my commitments and stop working. That isn't me. I had committed and would remain committed 100% until the end of the time I had promised.

I found ways to start pulling myself out of projects and literally just started saying to no to anything not already on my plate.

It's hard to do because even though people say they understand, I am not sure they do and I always feel like they are judging when you can't/won't help them.

I always ask if I am helping or hindering. If I can't give you help and make a difference then I need you to offer my seat at the table to someone who can. I'm not in a place where I just want my name on a board list. I want to be helpful.

I implemented "No Meeting Monday" and have set some self-imposed parameters for all things in my life. That's helped me be way more efficient and to roll with things when life doesn't go as planned (such as a week in quarantine with the plague).

I've also whittled down the community service list. I have only a few organizations that I serve but I do that with 100% of my heart and soul.

All of these things created more time for the boys and being able to enjoy them as they grow.

But there's one thing that has been nagging at me and I've not been able to find peace.

Most of the time, when someone introduces me, they give some professional and personal background and then they tell everyone around us that I'm a runner. "She's a runner. She runs marathons." In fact, I my LK superlative was Most Athletic (or something similar).

Since Karson was born, that's just not true. I won't lie, for me, it was much easier to do all the things when I had just one child. But after the second was born, I've never been able to get into a routine. A newborn plus a toddler is hard work. Just when I thought I was on a roll, I fell down our stairs. The fall down the stairs left me bruised for weeks and in great pain. Then I began experiencing the hip problems. Last year was a health and wellness disaster.

I used to use the hashtag #fitmomma with photos. I've always been proud to be the lady who could manage kids, husband, work, life, and staying fit. But it's hard to stay fit when you're always hurt (and stressed and tired).

I'm taking a new approach. I've changed my mind set. Instead of #fitmomma, I'll be using #healthymom in the future because it's not just about how many miles I can run or how fast I ran my last half marathon. It's not about how many yoga classes I take in a week. It's not just about how much weight I could lift or if I can hold a plank for 5 minutes. Health is so much more - it's physical, mental, and emotional.

I've addressed the emotional and mental health aspects. I'm not nearly as anxious or rundown as I was two years ago. And adding a disclaimer here, I did have a young son who doesn't care for sleep. During that pregnancy and for the first two years of his life, we just didn't sleep. At all. But now that he's sleeping, so am I. I could get up at 4 am for a workout before the kids get up but I deserve the extra time in bed and I am going to enjoy every single minute of it.

Physical health is very, very important to me.  hope to be able to run long distances again but right now is not the time. I hope to be able to teach yoga regularly again. At this moment in life, I simply don't have enough hours in my week. And honestly, I don't want to do it. It takes the right frame of mind to train for long distance runs or teach classes and I'm not there. And that's okay.

For today and the foreseeable future, I'd rather run a few days a week and work on building strength and stability in my hips and core so that I can maybe run a marathon down the road or get back to teaching.

And I know that the schedule I've laid out is a good one and should have me in good shape within a couple of months. And that would be great.

But overall, at the end of the day, I want to focus on overall health and not just one component. So, this #healthymom is signing off and continuing to rest so that she gets well sooner than later.

See you on the roads!

One of Many Finish Lines

Every day, Facebook shows me photos and posts for that day in previous years. It's fun because I get to see awesome pictures, silly statuses, and blogs that I wrote in years past. So many of them are still very relevant and tug at my heart strings.

I read one this week reflecting on Jackson's foot/leg surgeries and his recovery. This time last year, he'd just finished up his second soccer season after having major surgery just after his 5th birthday. He was amazing then and still amazes me every day.

We are approaching the end of kindergarten. It went really quickly. And yes, I can see all you experienced mommies and daddies out there with older kids shaking your head and saying "I told you so" as I type this.

It was a fun year. None of us were super emotional during the first days. I was a bit surprised. I thought I'd shed more tears - there were a few but not many. After dropping him at his first Mother's Day Out program on his first day when he was 13 months old, I went for a run only to stop about a quarter mile in and sit down and sob. After all, he was my first and that was the first time he wasn't with me all day.

Truthfully, I thought Jackson might be a little more hesitant to get going. That said, I was super impressed on his second day when he opted for me to drive through so he could just get out and go in. Nope. He didn't need me to park and walk him in like we'd done on day one.

My number one goal for both kids is that we nurture them, love them, and teach them to be good adults. I long for them to be independent like Altman and myself.

Of course I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want them to always need me and I think they will but I want them to know and understand responsibility, the importance of getting an education, and how to interact with others. School is a great place to learn all of those things.

We've had all the fun kindergarten offers and I sure will miss it. He's at an awesome school and had an amazing teacher who has given him the opportunity to be himself and to learn new things in a safe environment. I've tried to go to the classroom once a week or at least twice a month to help out. I've been amazed at the progress in all of the kiddos. They're so cute and so smart and they have such great futures ahead of them.

Jackson's completed weekly homework assignments with some being fun and others not so much. I think he's going to take after Altman and lean towards math over English and literature. He does well with sight words but isn't jumping up and down to do them. But, he can knock out math problems like nobody's business. We'll see how things shake out. He's still young and I'm sure he'll surprise me over and over.

He's had days where he didn't get along with friends, where his feelings were hurt, and times when he accidentally hurt the feelings of others. It was rare but he did come home on yellow a couple of times. Mostly for talking. I can't imagine where he gets that trait. Otherwise, he's kept his clip on the "good" colors. In the afternoons before dinner, he tells me about his "expert" job in the classroom and other school happenings.

And so, in just 12 days, we'll cross the kindergarten finish line and head into summer. It's bittersweet as my sweet boy grows a little taller and becomes a kid. He's a kid now but it's different. I can see his mind processing things differently than he did a year ago.

Cheers to Jackson for not just surviving but thriving during his first year of school. This momma is so proud of him and both Altman and I are looking ahead to 1st grade and beyond.

See ya on the roads!
Kristy

An Inside Peek...

Unless I have had your job, I have no idea what you do. You might tell me some day to day activities or I may get a sneak peek but realistically, it's all a mystery to me. 

The same goes for my job. Most people have no idea what I do. I *think* that they think there is a good deal of fun and running involved. For the most part, I love my job. But my job is so much more than running and being at events.  

Given that we are coming up on our biggest event of the year and people keep asking if we are going on vacation next week or saying that they know we'll be so happy when Monday gets here, I thought I'd give you a little behind the scenes.

First things first. No, we are not going on vacation until the end of May. Honestly, I don't know when we will get our next day off. I am hoping that we can take some time next weekend for just our little family of four. And, Monday is another 15+ hour day. So is Tuesday. Jason will actually still work 50+ hours a week through the end of April. Then, he'll spend all of May distributing sponsor gifts, recognizing our Fittest Schools, recognizing our Fittest companies, securing a date for 2017, finalizing the budget vs actual for the 2016 event, and writing a budget for the next marathon year (his budget runs July to June).

A day in the life of KTC's Executive Director...

I work from home. Our home is the "KTC Office" and most days, you can find Altman and I at the kitchen table sitting across from one another going over a variety of logistics for CHKM and KTC as a whole. I can answer your question...yes, we are actually very, very productive working here. I was so much less productive working in an office environment. And, because we work together, we really work together. I am constantly asking Altman for opinions on a variety of items related to KTC business and he does the same with me and the CHKM. 

Mondays are operations days. I have a "No Meeting Monday" policy and use that day to truly work on all things administrative. This can be anything from paying invoices to invoicing vendors to answering emails to writing sponsor proposals or reviewing proposals to sponsor other community events. This week, I completed a solicitations permit application, the Combined Federal Campaign application, completed our Annual Report for the state, and wrote a report for our board meeting that took place Monday night. 

KTC is a business. It is a nonprofit business but still a business and my job is to oversee all administrative items and operations among many other tasks. In the coming weeks, I'll complete a budget vs actual for Q1 including individual race budgets for road races. 

In addition to those items, I oversee all staff, key volunteers, and programming. So, I could be approving marketing materials or upcoming program ideas. I write checklists for all road races and distribute those to our event manager and the specific race directors. I also create all of the registration pages for road races. Fortunately, our trail director sets those up for trail races!

I'm responsible for fundraising and sponsor relations. I'm responsible for all promotions and marketing.

My checklist is never less than a full page. I divide it into sections for general items, CHKM items (that's seasonal and will transition to Farragut 13.1 soon), programming/event items, and then personal/community service items.

I go to meetings. I happily volunteer for a variety of organizations. I do this as a representative for KTC. I think it is important for the organization to be present in the community and I've built some great partnerships for the organization this way. 

In addition to those meetings, there are sponsor meetings, staff meetings, committee meetings, and more. Some of those are during the day but KTC is powered by volunteers so all of our committee and board meetings are in the evening. 

Then of course there are race days. The great news is that if things are going well, then I get the chance to catch up with our members, participants, and volunteers. If things aren't going well then my job is to troubleshoot and make decisions on next steps. This might include safety issues, lost runners, unhappy runners, and more. I'm never surprised anymore at the things that can go wrong on a race day. 

As I've been writing this post, I realize that there is really no way to give you a full look inside. I can tell you it is wild. I work 40+ hours every week and there is always more work to be done. I do enjoy it. 

I'm going to enjoy this weekend and I hope to see you out there!

Taking a Moment

It's marathon week. There's no reason to talk about what that means because you all know me and you know Altman so you know what this means. It's cool. We're ready. And even if we weren't, it doesn't matter because it is all going to happen whether we're ready or not.

This year is a bit different from those in the past. Last year was hard. It was really hard and really stressful. I had just been through the hiring process to become the Executive Director for KTC and there was no time to take a minute to breathe in March/April 2015...or for the rest of the year for that matter.

I knew I was the best choice for the job but having left and attempting to return made me question whether or not the board of directors would agree with me. That said, the board in 2015 was a much, much different board than the board that was in place when I turned in my resignation in 2012. The 2012 board wasn't bad but we'd all had a hard year and honestly, we just needed a break and time to reset.

I love, love, love this job but if you know anything about nonprofit work, you know that your board can make or break the experience and how long an ED stays with an organization. It's just a fact when working with nonprofits. I can happily say that right this minute, this is the absolute best board that I've seen in a decade of working with KTC. There are many good things to come.

So, this year is different. I am different. I've been working hard to implement some things to change my schedule and to be sure that I get my work done and take care of myself and my family.

At the start of the year, I implemented "NO Meeting Monday" and I stick to it. My schedule is blocked every Monday from 8 am to 5 pm indefinitely on my calendar. So far, I've been good not to make any exceptions. Monday is the day. I workout and then put my hair in a bun, throw on yoga pants, and get to work. I pay KTC invoices, I invoice other organizations, and I do all the operational things that I can do for the week on Mondays. It's the best decision that I have ever made. Need a meeting? Not on a Monday. You may not understand but honestly I don't care. Each week is filled with meeting after meeting and when the organization that you run has roughly 10 large programs plus operations, you need a full day each week to just work.

I also did something unprecedented for me. I left a board of directors position early. I have never done that before. It's an awesome organization that I love and that I know will do great things. But, they need someone who can be "all in" for the next several months and I can't commit to being that person. It's a working board and I love working boards but at this time, what they need from board members is not something that I can offer. And, they were at a key time when I felt it best for me to leave without disrupting their future plans and work.

And today, we took the day off. Yes, it is Easter but it is also Altman's birthday. We've worked late every night and this week is going to be chaotic and then next week is CHKM weekend. We didn't set an alarm this morning. Jason worked out then I worked out. We had brunch. Jackson and I baked a cake. We played outside all afternoon as a family. We had a steak dinner and then funfetti birthday cake. Currently, Altman is giving the boys a bath and then we'll get them settled and ready for a full week of school. In years past, I would have answered emails and I would have been anxious enough to be in tears.

Not this year. This year I am taking a moment to breathe. I am enjoying the boys and loving spring in our beautiful home today after working most of yesterday.

Tomorrow, I will wake up ready to roll. I cannot wait for how excited I will be tomorrow morning and for the rest of the week and weekend. I will tackle everything that has to be completed before the end of the month and I'll determine what can wait until April. If you get moved to April then please don't take it personally. I am just running out of time in March.

It's going to be an awesome week and I am so glad that I was able to take a moment and enjoy this year's marathon season.

See ya on the Clinch Avenue Bridge!

Post MRI

Just a little update on the journey and MRI results and next steps.

The MRI showed no stress fractures, no tears, no structural damage. That's good news. That means there is nothing happening in that hip that requires surgery.

It does show that I have bursitis. Doc initially diagnosed it as bursitis but because I was still having problems then we decided that ruling anything out via MRI was best bet.

The bad news is that bursitis is the inflammation of the bursa. Usually from overuse and a host of other reasons. And, there is no easy fix.

So what to do?

I had a cortisone injection yesterday. The cortisone will reduce the inflammation and bring the bursa back to normal size.

I had physical therapy today. Because they didn't want to be aggressive, our great friends at TN Sports Medicine Group did some initial work on it and I will go back Friday for soft tissue work.

I signed up for a membership at 4D Fitness (owed and operated by TN Sports Medicine Group) and plan to hire one of their personal trainers to help me get my strength back.

And, I'll take a hard look at my nutrition and make changes to reduce inflammatory foods.

Bursitis can flare up anytime. I can get up to three cortisone injections per year but I hope that we can get on the right track and prevent having to have that many injections.

I may never run another marathon. That would be too bad. But, I may. That might also be too bad. ;)
But, if I can get and stay healthy then I'd love to try the half distance and see how that goes. And who knows, maybe a marathon is in my future.

Whatever the future holds, I have some work to do but am happy to know that I don't need surgery and that I am totally blessed with awesome experts that can help me.

See you on the roads...but probably not until next week. ;)

Getting Well

It's no secret that 2015 was a rough year for the Altman adults physically. Altman injured his knee in May and rehabbed all summer only to find that there was in fact a tear in his meniscus and he needed surgery. He's up and running literally and just ran a 2:50:01 in LA.

I injured myself in January last year at a trail race and things just never got better. I did some rehab and kept plugging away. I had a cortisone shot in June and that should have set me up for a good summer of running.

Unfortunately, in an attempt to catch a falling toddler, I sprained my glute. And no, I didn't catch him. It was awful. That was probably the worst pain I've ever felt. I seriously thought I had torn something or broken something. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn't lie down and there was constant pain. I did rehab three days a week for several weeks. We were making great progress and I headed out on a Sunday for a short, easy run. About 1.5 miles in, my calf locked up. I stopped and stretched and kept going thinking it would loosen up. By the time I got to Jason and the kids, I couldn't walk.

For the first time in my life, Krusenklaus told me not to run. He said that my calf so was sprained that it may tear at any time. So, we rehabbed the calf.

In the midst of all of this, I pulled a muscle in my chest that caused my shoulder, clavicle and and pectoral muscles to stay in a constant state of pain and I had little range of motion. It was hard to run because I literally couldn't breath.

No, none of this is an exaggeration.

I have always been a proponent of taking care of oneself. That doesn't just mean cardio and strength training are enough. Taking care of ourselves is a whole approach to being healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally. Stress, exhaustion, and random eating schedules counteract any work done on the road or in the gym.

As a certified fitness person, you would think that I'd be the first to recognize some of the root causes of my physical misfortunes but alas....

Fast forward to March 2016, between a chiropractor and my massage therapist, I am happy to report that my shoulder/chest/neck are in great shape.

I am not happy to report that I have gained an incredible amount of weight and that I broke down an had an MRI this week on the hip.

I am possibly in the worst health of the last decade. Not possibly. My health is in a terrible place.

I've taken it easy this week and with that extra time, I have had some realizations:
1. I am tired. I don't sleep well. I can't blame the kids or Altman. I just don't sleep well these days. I need to make a habit of turning off the phone/electronics well before bed. I need to stop reading emails at 10 pm. I need to unwind before bedtime each and every day.
2. I need to say "no" more often to extra things. I have two kids and work full-time plus. I have a fulfilling schedule of volunteer activities and I love them all. I don't need more. This one will be hard. It's hard for me to say no but it is an absolute necessity.
3. I have to eat regularly and I need to be purposeful in what I eat. I can sometimes go a whole day and realize that I literally forgot to eat. Who does that? Apparently I do. I've been buying us lots of vegetables and good foods. I need to eat more protein and I am already working on it. I need to lay off the chocolate chips and almond butter. ;)

I have an arsenal of experts in my circle that will be very willing to help me lose the weight and get back my good health.

And I have an initial plan.

1. I am tracking all of my food every day.
2. I have also started a journal to track how I feel physically from aches/pains and sore muscles to sore throats and sinus issues. I'm not sure that my allergy shots are doing their job anymore so we may need to address that soon. When my allergies are bad then I am tired and feel sick. But, I am so busy that I can't keep track of how I felt and when. A good friend recommended keeping a journal and I think it is a great idea.
3. I am also tracking my workouts. I firmly believe that some of the strength exercises that I've tried lately are not good for my hip. Once I can identify those triggers, I can avoid them.

After tracking everything for a few weeks, I am going to make an appointment with a general practitioner. If I am still tired and exhausted and not making progress, we may need to run various tests. At that same time, I am going to call my friend Eddie and set up an appointment with him to refine my diet.

Hopefully I hear back from the MRI soon. Then, we can determine next steps on healing my hip.

It's not easy to admit to the world (at least those reading this) that you aren't at your best. But, if it helps anyone else out there think about their own health and habits then I've done a good thing.

I turn 40 this fall and I plan to be back in great health. Stay tuned...

Do Something Nice For Someone

I went to Jackson's school today and it was awesome. It is always awesome and I say it every time. Kindergartners are the best. They are kind and funny and inquisitive. They bring such a fresh perspective on what's important in life.

My favorite part is that many of them give me the biggest hugs. If you know me then you know that I am a hugger. I may never be able to run for political office because I like to hug people. When I walk into the class, several of the kindergartners rush up and give me great BIG hugs. We tried to stop them because not everyone likes to be touched and hugged but we gave up. I told their teacher that I don't mind and I guess she felt like that it was okay then.

Those hugs brighten my week. Their little minds at work and their exciting stories about their favorite things make me so happy. I schedule myself time every week to go to school. It's the best part of my week and when I leave, I am not nearly as anxious or stressed or uptight as I was when I walked in.

Those kids do something nice for me every week. Not something tangible but they make me so unbelievably happy and when I don't visit, I don't feel the same.

What do you do that is nice for others?

What every day activities do you do that bring happiness to others? I'm not talking about the obvious stuff. It's great if you volunteer your time or donate to causes and I give you kudos for doing so because I do both and they make me happy too.

But, what do you that's just nice?

I have a few thoughts of things we could do for others:
1. Have some patience. Instead of emailing and calling and emailing about something, take a breath and realize that the recipient may be having a busy day or week (aren't we all soooo busy all the time????). Consider that maybe they are overwhelmed with any number of things and that they'll get to your request when they can. Consider how you feel when someone badgers the heck out of you for something...I'm betting it irritates the fire out of you but maybe not and maybe you don't mind.
2. Put down your phone. Instead of spending entire meetings, conversations, and more with your face turned down to your phone and not making eye contact, put down the phone. In a meeting? Maybe the person leading the meeting or presenting to you worked really hard on the agenda or their presentation. Maybe they need you to pay attention to validate their work. Maybe they need you to pay attention so that you can make informed decisions. Or maybe they just need you to have the courtesy to give them your attention because if you don't then no one else in the room will do so.
3. Smile. Make eye contact with people and give them a smile. Maybe that guy in the hall has had the crappiest week ever and he just needs a positive nudge. Or, maybe that mom in your office has had the most challenging week with her kids. Instead of angry little faces, it would probably make her day for someone to just smile at her. I've always like the idea of setting up a high five station on the greenway on a Saturday and just giving high fives to people as they run by. No real reason except to give them encouragement and recognition for their miles. Stay tuned...that may just become a reality. ;)
4. Invite someone for a drink or dinner. The parents that never get out...ask them to go out. Now, you can't do it on Friday afternoon and expect them to be available Friday night (unless they have a nanny or a thousand available babysitters) but set something up for a few weeks out. Call the friends you haven't seen in ages and ask them over for dinner. Doesn't have to be fancy. Just a time to catch up (with the phones out of sight). Ask the new guy or gal at the office if they'd like to meet up with their significant other and then take them to a few fun downtown restaurants or bars.
5. Send a note in the mail. A few years ago, a very thoughtful friend did a "Thank You" note writing project. I still have the note he sent to me. It was probably the greatest piece of mail that I've received. It wasn't the standard Christmas card (but I do love pictures of your beautiful families) but it was just a note of thanks for my friendship and support. It was unexpected and it made me cry happy tears.

Let's get back to being kind to one another. We aren't nice to one another these days. Watch the news. You can't argue. Fine, you're nice to your close circle but I am talking bigger than those people that you see every single day. And heck, maybe we could be nicer to those folks too.

I fully admit that I have my moments but I try very hard to consider other people around me when making choices on how I am going to behave. There are a lot of days that I just smile and smile when I would rather cry and bury myself under my covers and never come out again. I could choose to be hateful but I either keep to myself or choose to be kind.

Ask any of my old restaurant friends, I could be a bit aggressive and ruthless but I left that gal on the expo line years ago. I've threatened to break fingers over under-cooked food....I could choose to bring her back out on my bad days but I don't because I don't want to treat others badly.

So, going into the weekend, think about what you can do for others that would make them happy. Let's set a goal to do something nice for someone else. When you do, it will make you feel like a million dollars.

Happy weekend!