It is the end of May. I have no idea how that happened....Okay, that's a lie. I do know how we got here - I just can't believe that we are here.

In less than a month, my "baby" will be 2. In less than two months, my first "baby" will be 6. My heart overflows with joy but aches at the same time as they grow up. They are great kids. They are handsome and both are very, very smart. And they are funny. They make me belly laugh daily and it takes a lot to make me actually belly laugh.

It's been a wild year. Not just 2015 but summer 2014 to now. I left a job, started a business, and went back to KTC. We went through major life changes and major life situations.

I went from feeling fairly lost and not feeling like myself to remembering who I am and what's important in life to me (and hopefully) settling into a groove.

KTC does good work. KTC isn't just road or trail races. KTC is a community organization doing good things. I am looking forward to the remainder of the year when we roll-out programming that will ultimately help our community. Physical well-being is key. It is important for our physical, mental, and emotional selves and we need to put a higher priority on it and KTC plays a big role in that for so many companies, schools, and individuals and I am excited to see how things unfold.

Personally, in the last year, I maintained and maybe even renewed some lifelong friendships, found that other friends seemed to drift away, and have made some great new friends. I've been humbled by the support of so many who have encouraged me along the way.

I have also found a renewed urge to change some lifestyle habits. I signed up for a fall marathon and am incorporating core work and yoga into my weekly routines again.

Most importantly, in the last year, I have found that I am very proud of myself. I am juggling a lot of balls in the air so to speak. Some days, things fall right into place and other days, I struggle to get by.

That's life. I am busy. There is no way around it. I created the schedule, I said yes, and now I want to fulfill my commitments because that is who I am. I want to help and never hinder.

I am proud to teach my kids about hard work. And, I am proud to show them what it means to give back to the great community that has given so much to Jason and me.

I am proud of myself for pursuing my passions and being the best person that I can be. I am excited for the next chapters. I am excited for new adventures and new relationships.

Every Run is a Lesson

It has been a long time since I have regularly run long runs. I am literally building from the ground up again and essentially starting over.

I haven't trained for a distance run since before I was pregnant with Karson. I have been busy growing the family, taking care of the kids, building my career, serving our community, and being a wife. It hasn't been a priority but I feel like now is the time. This is the year.

Well, I did feel that way when I registered for a fall marathon. However, since clicking submit, every run has been a challenge.

Admittedly, I usually have a 2 to 3 week period in May/June when every run is terrible. Acclimating to the heat is awful for me.

I must be in that time period. Each run this week was worse than the one before. If I could have bailed on my 7 miler this morning then I would have - except I had to get back to my car and hitch hiking down Neyland wasn't really an option.

Before leaving this morning, Jackson was a playing a game and getting so upset because he couldn't get past a certain point. I told him to keep trying. Keep practicing. Don't give up easily. You'll figure it out....

Today's run didn't go well. That's life. If it is the worst thing that happens today then I am lucky. There are more runs to come and I will keep trying. Keep practicing. I won't give up and I will figure it out. The goal is to cross the start line and cross the finish line this fall. This is just part of the journey to get there.

See ya on the roads!

Jackson asked me today why I like to run alone sometimes. I run alone so that I can work on my own fitness, gather my thoughts, and problem solve a variety of things. Sometimes on an easy run, I write a blog post in my mind. Today was one of those days.

Jackson and his fellow Fire Dragons played their last soccer game of the season yesterday. After the game, we had a party and everyone got a trophy. You might think that it is silly for everyone to get a trophy but honestly, we don't know what other kids are overcoming to make it to each practice and game. Years ago (before kids), I would have said that participation trophies are silly and you have to earn them but now that I am a mom, I know that win or lose, those trophies are earned.

Last night, I posted a picture of my #22 from his game and although the picture wasn't significant, I was flooded with so many thoughts about our eldest and the last year.

I will be very honest in saying that watching Jackson play soccer tests my patience and my abilities as a mom. He is a big kid and I forget that he is a child. A young child. I am almost certain that he is the youngest on the team. And, I am almost certain that he's the only one not in kindergarten yet.

As soon as I posted the picture, it hit me. He is a kid. He isn't even 6 yet. He has an entire lifetime to play sports and truthfully, the kid has come a long way in the last year. He is truly remarkable.

He had major surgery last year. MAJOR. An adult would likely have a hard time recovering - if ever. His doctor did an Achilles tendon repair (the 2nd in his 5 years on this Earth) and moved his Tibialis anterior muscle. Yes, that's right. He MOVED it. Jackson was in a cast for 6 weeks. The full leg cast went on after surgery and then a cast below the knee went on three weeks post surgery. He has three scars that seem to be fading but who knows if they'll ever go away.

We had a party after the second cast was removed. I remember watching Jackson run across the playground and my heart sank because I was worried he'd never run straight again. The doctor had given us a play by play from the beginning. Even before he was born, J's doctor gave us a play by play of what would happen and when and how he would likely respond. It is hard to accept what you've been told when you are living it. I look back now and laugh because J's doctor is an amazing and super smart guy and I am so thankful for him because he was right.

Jackson didn't have to play soccer last fall. His season started within two weeks of having the second cast removed. We didn't force him into it and told him that he could sit out if he wanted because of the surgery. He wanted to play. He wanted to see his friends. The first few games (and maybe the whole season) had to be hard on him. He never complained but I cannot imagine that he wasn't in some kind of physical pain.

He wanted to play again this spring. I was hesitant. He isn't aggressive and he had never once chased the ball or even come close to having contact with it. I was worried that we were setting him up for disappointment. Other kids seemed to be improving each game but he wasn't. I had forgotten about his surgery and forgotten that he might need an extra minute (or two) to catch up.

He proved me wrong because he is that cool. We don't talk about it much. Once in awhile, he'll show someone his scars but that seems to be mostly older girls that he wants to impress.

His progress has been remarkable. No, he didn't score any game winning goals. He didn't score any goals. But, he got in there and he chased the ball and he kicked it a few times. When his foot touched the ball, it was like a "Hail Mary" to me. Behind my sunglasses, I cried a few tears when I saw his foot connect with the soccer ball during a game.

He perseveres. He works hard. He gets up every day and keeps going. He improves. He doesn't complain. He isn't the star of the team but I will tell you that in another season or two and he is going to be a force to be reckoned with.

I signed up for a marathon this fall. I haven't finished a marathon since 2007. I hate marathons. But, I am going to try to remember every single day that we were lucky and our son's foot could be fixed. My eldest has been through two surgeries in 5 years but you might never know that if I don't tell you the story. He is amazing and I plan to train for this marathon with him in mind during every single run. If he can get up every day and keep going then so can I.

See ya on the roads!