The Beautiful Mess of Life

I am all the way Type-A. I know - that's shocking for some of you. And, my top strength in the strengthfinder eval is "Achiever" so I know that's shocking too.

That means that I want things off the floor, laundry done, and order around the house and yard. That also means that I want homework done, reading logs complete, spelling words learned, a healthy meal on the table (and for the kids to possibly eat it), and my workouts completed on top of working full-time.

However, it's not possible for there to be order and for all the things to be done when I want them done and the way I want them done. I have two kids and three dogs. The house is going to be a mess. We have worked for many years and we're fortunate to have this home - even when I don't like it so much. It's two stories and basement which means the mess extends over all three levels. The laundry is going to sometimes be re-washed three times before it makes it to the dryer.

I know there can't be order all the time and I repeat it to myself over and over every day. Sometimes, the mantra isn't enough. There's no amount of deep breathing or shoulder rolling or calming oils and I get in a funk and then I simply have a meltdown. And, that's when I feel like I am not doing enough and wonder what the heck we are doing.

We've been really busy lately and there's been little downtime. We took an unplanned "off" weekend and completed several projects around the house (closets, bedrooms, etc). That should have been enough to make me feel good about the rest of the mess for a little while but it didn't this time and I had a mini meltdown last night.

Today, I tried for a fresh start. The kids and I had a long talk about doing what they are asked and being respectful of one another and us (like cleaning up and helping out without arguments). Instead of killing myself on a run, Jackson and I took a relaxing hike at the Cove's newest trails. I took a nap. I made pumpkin muffins. We're getting ready to grill burgers for dinner. Karson cleaned legos off the floor and Jackson finished a project. Laundry is in process - we'll see what happens to the last load of the day.

Life is messy. That's hard for me sometimes. I've gotten better over the years (kids will do that for you) but sometimes I regress and lose perspective. Fortunately, I have a good support crew on the home front who help me with perspective when mine seems skewed.

I'm off to clean-up the Halloween buckets and finish prepping for dinner and our school/work week. And, I'll hope the laundry gets finished and if not then I'll re-wash tomorrow. ;)

I am blessed and so grateful for this beautiful mess.

Happy Thanksgiving friends.