Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow

I'm a pretty happy gal most of the time. Sometimes, I just get worn down and worn out. I'm there right now and I'd like my normal self back.

We've established that I love my kids and my husband. I really do. With that said, everyone in our family functions so much better when we have a routine and when we aren't together every day for long periods of time with little (if any) break from one another. I'm pretty sure that between the boys, Altman, the three dogs, and the cat that I haven't had one full minute alone in weeks.

Yesterday was special. For the first time since December 22, both children went to school. They went late but they went. Unfortunately, I was out most of the day for meetings but it was a start. Today was similar. Morning meeting then home for lunch then afternoon meeting.

But tomorrow.....

I keep at least one day per week with zero meetings. "No Meeting Monday" is a staple for me. However, school was out on Monday so there may have been no meetings but there were also kids hovering around the house and it did not count.

So tomorrow.....

I have no meetings scheduled tomorrow and unless a tornado blows through here this afternoon or tonight or another crazy situation happens, I do believe that both of my kids will go to school and I will have my space back.

I can run, throw on yoga pants and a t-shirt, drink hot coffee and get all the work done. In my space. Without someone asking to watch YouTube or fighting over toys or asking for something. I can't stop the dogs from following me around but they don't speak so that's a plus for them.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow. Please be the day that I need!

Now, I'm off to pray that I didn't just jinx myself and ruin my perfect tomorrow. :)

See you on the roads and trails!

Taking Life Day by Day

I'm a planner. That's no surprise to most of you but if you don't know me well then you should know that I love a good to-do list, a thorough checklist, a defined schedule, and organization.

My life choices make it a real struggle for most of these things to happen consistently but I've learned to roll with it.

Kids never do what you want when you want and they are messy and hate organization. I'm great at my job because someone has to manage all the moving pieces and parts and you have to be organized to do that but there are a lot of days when my to-do list is on the back burner to take care of something pressing that's come up.

This Christmas break is for the birds. Why are my kids home this week? The Christmas magic has worn off and we all need a break. Although we love Karson, we were pretty pumped to send him back to pre-school today.

We had great plans. Altman would run outside and I would workout here while Jackson watched a video and then they would run errands and I would go to meetings and would get some work done in peace.

We followed that plan for about a minute. Karson cried in the car for Jackson so Altman took him along to drop K off at school. I stayed home and had the most amazing workout but came downstairs to find Jackson lying on the sofa with an ice pack on his knee and blood all over his leg. Turns out that he fell getting into Jason's car...on the metal part of a clipboard...with his kneecap. Gross, gross, gross.

I took a pic and sent to several friends and while Jason went out to run, I called the pediatrician. The nurse agreed that the doctor should probably take a look to be safe. All my parent friends agreed too.

So, I rearranged my schedule and moved my meetings. If the kid was getting stitches for the first time, this momma was going to be there. Jason ran one errand and met me at the doctor's office. We wanted to both be there in case the kid needed stitches.

At the mention of stitches, it was clear to all of us that we'd be better off if we just bandaged the wound and let it heal without them. I was grateful that the doc shifted gears because it would have been a traumatic experience for all of us to numb his knee and then have a doctor sew it up. Given that the wound is directly on the kneecap, the doc said that not stitching it up would just take a little longer to heal and would leave a scar.

Scars are fun. We all have them and have silly stories to tell about them. He'll be able to tell a silly story about falling on a clipboard.

All this to say that sometimes, you just gotta roll with things and take things as they come. 10 years ago, I would have been anxious and angry about having to rearrange my day. Now, it's just life and it's just another day that ends in "y" and you do what you have to do.

There's always tomorrow...unless it snows...

Gatlinburg

My heart hearts today and I just feel sad. I was hoping to perk up a little but I can't turn off the TV and I can't get my mind to stop seeing the images on TV and social media. I've done pretty well holding in my tears but writing this may send me over the edge.

The wild fires are breaking my heart. The news coverage is breaking my heart. It's all bringing back emotions that I haven't felt this strongly in years.

My father was burned over 75% of his body when I was in middle school. He went to work, the building blew up (it was a construction site at a chemical plant), and life was never the same. Our family was never the same. That's the short version of the story. I no longer have a relationship with my parents (that's a whole other long story) but I imagine that to this day, he's still affected by his accident.

The story from that night is that he came out of the building on fire. A co-worker pushed him down to put out the fire but he came in contact with chemicals that also burned him. From what I remember from the stories, he was awake and in shock until EMS arrived and doesn't remember getting in the ambulance or anything after for some time.

He was in the hospital for weeks and then recovery took years.

That was middle school. It was awful and so, so hard on everyone.

My senior year of high school, just after attending a funeral for a classmate, my aunt died in a house fire. It was an electrical fire. A little bit of peace comes from the fact that firefighters told my family that she wouldn't have suffered and likely died immediately. Inhaling the smoke would have knocked her out. Three inhales and she was likely dead. I didn't see the house on fire but I saw it the day after and then throughout the rebuild process. It was a total loss.

Friends with the fire department gave me details that I really shouldn't have heard. Those details were too much for a 17 year old girl. I think they thought it would be helpful but it wasn't and they've stuck with me for years.

In college, one of the houses in the gravel lot where I lived burned on a cold, snowy day. No one was hurt but friends lost most of their stuff. It was crazy to see the flames set against snow.

I could barely make myself go to bed last night and I didn't sleep. I knew I wouldn't sleep thinking about all of those people trying to find safety.

Not only have we watched our precious mountains burn and burn and burn but now, so many people's lives have been set on a new path. And it is a new path that isn't going to be easy.

Even when the new stories slow down, homes and businesses will take time to rebuild. Families will need time to heal.

Please give. Send money. Pray if you pray or just send positive vibes if you aren't a praying person. And don't forget about these people affected by this terrible situation. Our newsfeeds will go back to being political and full of nastiness within a few days but each day, try to remember how lucky you are regardless of your current situation.

For now, I'm going to donate to the Red Cross and instead of complaining about the toys all over my floor, I think I'll play trains with the boys when they get home because I have a home and I have many trains and for this moment, we are safe.