It's Not All Fun and Games

This week is hard. That is not a complaint but the truth. After several years of doing this, it never gets easier. Never. And, it isn't just hard for us. It is hard for the volunteers who put their blood, sweat, and tears into the CHKM.

Even though it is hard, what you'll see this weekend is that Jason and I will be running around and smiling and making an effort to talk to every person and catch up. This week is hard but the connections on Saturday and Sunday are priceless and amazing. But, the bottom line is that the week is hard.

This year seems harder than the previous years. The last year has been hard. We've had big life changes and made big life decisions. Whether they were good choices or not remains to be seen and only time will tell. At the end of the day, 2014 into 2015 and especially this week have been harder than every year before.

Maybe one reason is that we now have two mobile kids. Jackson seems much more aware of the situation this year. He seems to pick up on the stress, the anxiety, and the overall unavailability. Even when we we are all together, one of us is not really there. (By the way, putting that out there makes me want to vomit.) He asked me this week when things would be normal again. He asked me why we are gone so many nights. Each question is like a stab through the heart and each time, it brings me to tears. Only I don't cry in front of him. I bottle it up and wait. I won't cry in front of him because that would make him sad. He is a sweet and kind kid and I refuse to be the reason he is sad. But when he's gone and when I am alone, I cry. He'll probably have no long term memory of this race week but in the here and now, it makes my heart hurt.

What I hope he takes with him is that we help people. That is who I am. That is who we are as a couple and as individuals. Those Facebook tests tell me that I am a leader or that I have ambition...and I do. I want to lead people to a healthier lifestyle. I want to lead KTC to be the go-to expert in health and wellness and community service. I think that KTC offers our community great things but I believe, actually I know, that it can do more and be more.

This week is hard but the people make it priceless. The volunteers who show up every year remind me why we do this. The finishers who cross that line for the first time make me weepy with tears of joy. All of those stories and all of those journeys make the long days, sleepless nights, and all of the hard times absolutely priceless.

This week is hard and it is far from over. There will be highs and lows. There will be the unexpected bumps in the road but generally after one of those bumps, there is someone there with a story and a hug and I remember why we do this.

So, with that said, I will see you at the fifty!