Dear Jason...

My dearest hubs,
You did it again. You earned a top three finish (2nd to be exact) on one of the most mentally and physically challenging race courses that I have ever seen. 

All marathons are hard but this course leaves you alone with your thoughts throughout the majority of the run. There are few spectators out there unless you count deer.

I am so proud of you. I realized yesterday that Jackson learned hard work, resilience and determination from you.

You train in the heat. You train when you haven’t slept. You train on vacation. You seek help when injuries threaten you and you keep at it.

You run alone because that’s what our schedule will allow. And you don’t listen to music...what the heck by the way? It’s just you and your thoughts.

Day in and day out, I see you - the boys and I see you - putting in the work.

And through all of it, you never miss a beat as an amazing father and husband. You never miss a minute of work.

I spend race days in a state of anxiety and excitement. I love seeing you on the course (why else would I willingly push seventy pounds of kid) and then waiting for you at the finish.

Watching you out kick that dude coming down the stretch yesterday will be one of my all-time favorite Chickamauga memories. At the end of the day, I know it hurt but you weren’t going to let him beat you. 

Yesterday’s finish is a testimonial to your hard work, resilience (early Achilles pain and a late side stitch during the race) and determination to finish the best you could.

I am so proud of you. So, so proud. 

143 babe,

Me

Dear Jackson...

Jackson,

I am writing this because I want it to exist always so that you can read it now and in the future. I want you to know how very proud we are of you and how much we admire you.

I told you on Saturday that I was proud of you. I cried. Sure, I am super proud of your time at the State Championship but more than that, I am proud of your hard work, your resilience and your dedication.

You haven't had it easy my dear child. You won't remember but you've heard the stories. Your 20 week ultrasound showed us that your right foot was a club foot. Dr. Sears told me he would fix it and not to worry. 

You had your first cast on your foot just 7 days after you were born. I wanted to kill Dr. Sears on that day. I don't think I've ever felt that kind of emotional pain while you cried and I couldn't hold you. I had to let Dr. Sears do his thing.

You received a new cast every week for several weeks until you had your first surgery. After surgery, you wore these special little shoes for 18 months. We saw Dr. Sears for each check-up and then at 5 years old, you had a major surgery on your right leg to repair your achilles and to move your anterior tibialis. Wow. When Dr. Sears told me you'd walk on the cast, I am pretty sure I called him a liar. But he was right. 

As a side note, he was right all along. I can never thank him enough for being your doctor then and now.

After the cast, you didn't need therapy. We were told just to let you play. 

A few years ago, you said you wanted to run the Covenant Kids Run. So, we practiced a couple times a week and by the time we got to that one miler, you were actually ready for a 5K. 

As you headed in to 3rd grade, you said you wanted to run Cross Country. Maybe because we love running. Maybe because Dad could coach your team. You did well last year and ended the season with a personal best.

This spring, you were diagnosed with a heart murmur. The doctor will keep an eye on it but it's not harmful right now. That news didn't phase you.

You ran track in the summer - even when you weren't having fun - and tried your best at the meets.

You showed up for every single cross country practice this summer with a good attitude. You ran when it was hot. You ran when you probably didn’t want to.

Each weekend, you ran with me and we ran slow but we were working on endurance.

Then, this fall, you put in the effort. You ran hard at each practice. On weekends, we went to the track and you practiced running fast. You fell - at two meets - and you got up and ran hard to the finish. You could have quit. You could have stepped off course and been done those nights but you didn't. 

We gave you a race day plan for regionals and you followed it. And it paid off with a huge personal best. We gave you a similar plan for state and you followed it. And you had another personal best. 

Your dad and I are so proud of you. You worked hard and it paid off. Your hard work shows in your school work too. We see the days that you struggle and get frustrated trying to learn new concepts but you keep going. You keep trying. You didn't like your social studies grade so you improved it. 

You won't have a personal best at every race and you won't enjoy every subject in school. But you keep trying. You keep working hard. You keep bouncing back when things aren't great. You are dedicated to your sport and to doing well in school. 

My hope is that you continue to do all three through school, sports and life. You are a great young man and I am not kidding when I tell you that you are good people because you are a good person. 

We love you and we look forward to watching you grow up.

Mom and Dad

In the last three weeks, I have started three blog posts and abandoned them all.

In fact, I have had several false-starts with blogging in the last year or so. I can't quite put my finger on why. I can't figure out why I am hesitating to say what's on my mind but I need to write something today because writing makes me feel better.

This has not been my favorite week. On Tuesday, someone I've known more than half my life died unexpectedly (in all transparency, she was battling cancer but she was in treatment so the news of her passing was shocking).

The love of her life happens to be someone that is very, very, very dear to me so I am sad for so many reasons.

The news this week sucks. Two mass shootings in less than 24 hours killing and injuring multiple people at both. This on the heels of another at a food festival. I saw a stat that we've had more mass shootings than days in the year so far in 2019.

How does this tie together?

We never know when our time is up. You could leave home tomorrow and not return. We don't get to choose when we go but we do get to choose how we live right now.

I saw another friend post about the "dash" and it's importance. The content of the post focused on the dash that represents your life between birth and death. That post came along at the perfect time for me.

So I ask, what makes up your dash?

Think about it.

What makes up your dash? It's not necessarily about what others think about you. To me, it's about what you would want to remember about your life.

My dash will represent the great adventure of life with Jason and the boys.

As a youngster, I never dreamt of a husband and kids. Other girls had big dreams about weddings and raising a ton of kids. I wanted to work. I wanted to make enough money to have nice clothes, a nice car and maybe a nice apartment. I mean, why buy a house???

Then, along came Jason. He is the love of my life. He is the love of my lifetime. I have yet to have a day in 17+ years together when I couldn't wait to talk to him - even if it had only been a few minutes - and tell him all the silly things.

Then, we had the boys. Again, I never dreamt of being a mom. I was steadfast for about 25 years or so that I would NOT be having children.

Now, I have two beautiful boys. They are smart and funny and mostly well-behaved so far and I literally miss them when we are apart. I cannot wait to watch them continue to grow into young men and then adults.

I feel pretty good so far about what makes up the dash between October 23, 1976 and the unknown date of my passing. I have had some great experiences and adventures. I still have a lot of things I'd like to do and accomplish but at this moment, I am proud of where I am.

So, as we head in to a new week, think about your dash and your priorities. Hug your family. Text a friend and tell them you love them. Send a thank you note to someone. Buy a coffee for a stranger.

See you on the roads! Kristy