Such a Great Day!

Yesterday was one of the top days of my life.

Many years ago, my Uncle Lynn brought be to my first UT game. Andy Kelly was QB and we played Vandy. We beat them. From the minute we got out of the car, I was in love. I had liked TN Football as much as a young gal could like football. Seeing the sea of orange was enough for me to fall head over heels in love with Knoxville and the University of TN.

I moved here in the fall of 1994. I got a great education and have had many fun times. I have slept on concrete to get tickets to watch the Volunteers play (yep...I am that old). I have worked games and gone to games. I have seen us play well and I have been very sad on many Saturdays. I watched the goal post run down Cumberland Avenue after beating Florida the year we won the national championship.

I met Jason in Knoxville and we've spent many Saturdays running long then tailgating. We spent several years tailgating with some special friends and yesterday when we played Rocky Top on the way to the game, I shed a few tears remembering one of those friends that passed away in May.

Since Jackson was born, I dreamed of the day he would go to his first game. I hoped and hoped he would have fun and love UT as much as I do.

His first game was yesterday. When the "T" opened up and he was yelling with everyone else and shaking the pom pom, I cried.

Even though I am not originally from here, I grew up in Knoxville. I became an adult here. I learned to juggle school, work, and life which prepared me to juggle husband, kids, work, and life. I met my husband here and have had two beautiful boys here. I am proud of this city, the University, and I try every day to give back in some way to our community.

I am happy here and when I think about it, it all goes back to UT Football and that trip with my Uncle Lynn. It may sound silly but it is the truth.

So, here's to many more football games with Jackson and the day that we take Karson to his first game. Go Vols!

Silver Linings...

This has been a heck of a week. Life has tried hard to break me but I prevailed - mostly. It is Friday at 7 pm and I made it through this week with only a few tears. Honestly I don't know what that means but right this moment, I feel pretty tough and don't think my plans of ruling the world have been compromised at all.

The week started with an unplanned trip to the doctor's office. After a weekend of tight belly and pelvic pressure, I headed to the doctor. All was well but considering how the end of pregnancy #1 went, I feel like we may be in for a ride in the next few weeks. We are excited to meet the little one but just not yet. He needs to cook a little longer and honestly, we need to get ready for his arrival.

On Tuesday morning at 6 am, I stepped on the elliptical, opened the iPad, and read a message that a dear friend had died the night before. He and his wife are very special to Jason and me. They were there when we starting dating, they were there to celebrate our engagement, they were there to celebrate our wedding, and still when Jackson was born. We spent Christmas with them for several years and had countless laughs and fun times. I had Rocky Top on the way home Tuesday night and couldn't help but smile because we spent a lot of time watching Vol Football together. I haven't fully absorbed it yet. At some point in the near future, I will sit down and cry - a lot. We hadn't seen them a lot in the last year. Life stresses last year had really forced Jason and I to keep to ourselves and just make it through each week. Now, I regret not seeing him more and I hope he knows how much I loved him. I hope she knows how much I love her and I have been thinking about her and praying for her.

The rest of the week has been a blur. Bad news or potential bad news here and there and just nothing really going right.  Throw in 34+ weeks of pregnancy and a ton of hormones and I am grateful that I made it through. And, I am tired. I am at that point where I don't sleep and even if I do, I am tired. It is part of the territory and I need to get in a habit of taking more naps since a full night of sleep isn't really possible.

Silver lining time. Even with the week being so terrible, there was good. I had been voted as the Class Rep for Leadership Knoxville meaning that I will serve on the LK Board. I attended my first board meeting as a guest and am so excited to be part of the group and so, so honored that my classmates chose me to represent the Best Class Ever. I have also been asked to serve on the Community Advisory Board for Junior League of Knoxville and I made it to a reception for that group as well. I am honored to be chosen and even more thrilled to get to work with a dear friend of mine over the next two years.

Even better silver linings....our friends. We were blessed to receive gifts for Baby Altman by my fellow CHC Members on Thursday morning and I came home to gifts from one of my long time best friends that afternoon. Today, Jason and I were surprised to receive gifts for the littlest Altman from my co-workers who have all quickly become great friends. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in our life.

And the best silver lining....it is Friday and we have no plans for the next two days and I get to spend every minute with the two loves of my life. We are watching Henry Hugglemonster now and will get Chocolate milkshakes to celebrate the end of the week. When the rest of the day or week isn't fun, Altman and Little Altman always make me feel happy and content.

So, bring it on June. I made it through the first week and won't give up easily. I have a great husband, great kid, another kid on the way, and a fantastic support system all around. So, while life isn't always fun, there are always silver linings and blessings and I am one blessed lady.

3 AM

Eleven years ago, at 3 am, Altman and I would have likely been finishing up a shift at work or leaving a bar. Given the date, we had probably worked day shift and had gone out to celebrate the Kentucky Derby.  I was 25 then. I had taken a job waiting tables/bartending/expediting at a restaurant/bar so I could go to school full-time. I had a degree on Communications/PR but wanted to pursue a degree in a wellness related field.

We met on my first day of work and started dating almost immediately. So, in our early 20s, we still had fun going to dinner and meeting friends for a drink or more. The bonus was that Altman lived in a house on White Avenue. Perfect setup. Go to dinner, go to the Strip, and safely walk home from the bar. Fun times.

Yesterday was the Kentucky Derby and I watched the race from a hospital room at East TN Children's Hospital. Last night, at 3 am, my son was getting a breathing treatment after having removed an oxygen mask from his face. Talk about life change. 

Once he was settled and back to sleep - sans oxygen - I began to think about our life all those years ago. At the time, I didn't want children. I made it very clear to Altman when we started dating. I had never wanted them. He was fine with it and wasn't sure he wanted kids himself. 

Once we dated awhile and started talking marriage, we decided that we would set a time frame on kids. My sister had kids by then and we really enjoyed being with them and could both see a change of heart on that whole "no kids, retire early" plan. We married and gave ourselves 5 years to do whatever we wanted then make the decision. The decision was unanimous on both sides and came at unexpected time and in an unexpected conversation. During the chat, I made mention of "when we have kids" and Altman looked up and smiled and said, "I was thinking the same thing."

It isn't easy. My joke for the first year was that every day Jackson woke up and every night he went to bed was a success. Seriously. We didn't and still don't have any idea what we are doing. We have been blessed with a good kid and hope that the next is even half as cool as Jackson.

I never expected easy. I don't know what I expected but I knew raising a child would be hard. And, I don't do anything half-way so I have made a point that my family is first - always.

This weekend has been hard. I am 30 weeks pregnant and more tired than I have ever been in my life - everyday. Somedays I struggle to stay awake while others I struggle to remember my name. Yes, pregnancy brain is real. 

There was no sleep on Friday night. I held my 41" tall, 37 lb child in my arms like a baby while he cried. We were ready to head to the ER when we called and were directed to wait until the doctor's office opened. We did. That visit was a whirlwind. The doctor was very concerned and basically made up his mind when we arrived to send us to Children's. 10+ breathing treatments, two doses of steroids, oxygen, and others meds later, Jackson is in the playroom with Jason while I write. Yesterday, he cried for me over and over even while I held him all day and was so, so sick. Today, he seems much better and we can hopefully go home soon.

I always come back to the question, "Would I trade a minute of this?" Nope. Not a chance. I might complain or whine somedays (nope, pregnancy isn't easy either) but even in the hardest of times, there is special relationship between mother and child. I love this kid in a way that I had no idea was even possible. My love for his father is stronger today than yesterday because we are in this together and truly compliment one another in good times and bad.

Today, if I am awake at 3 am, it probably isn't for good times. And although being in the hospital with a sick child isn't an ideal situation, I am lucky to be able to have these experiences and raise such a cool little guy. I look forward to getting him better, going home, and getting rest. For now, I am going to head to the playroom and play trains.