Over the last several months, I've started a number of blog posts and then saved as a draft and exited the site. It's not that I am at a loss for words, I just can't get them on paper how I want them.

I have pandemic burnout. Work never stopped or slowed down for me. In fact, it was busier from March through May than ever. It hasn't slowed down, but we're past the frantic pace and plugging away. Altman's work never stopped. In fact, it's been more stressful than ever trying to figure out how to engage runners virtually and then trying to figure out in-person versus virtual for the fall and now wondering what happens in the spring.

The children were out of school for a really long time. The usual indoor/entertainment places were closed for a really long time. We had outside fun, but we have fair skin and need a break from the Sun. 

Karson broke his wrist and then Jackson fractured his foot. Back to back. One was healed and then the other was broken. What the heck?

Jackson's fracture came at the very beginning of Cross Country season. That just sucked. He'd been training all summer for this fall season. Fifth grade is like senior year for elementary school. His heart was broken. And frankly, so were ours. 

If you've never experienced the angst of child who isn't able to meet his own expectations then you are a lucky parent. No amount of antecdotes and encouragement will work for my first-born. Once he makes up his mind on something, he isn't happy unless he meets Goal A. 

He's been having some aches and pains over the last two weeks. His first race back was amazing, but he was disappointed. He met his goal for race two. We have regions coming up on Saturday and truthfully, I am ready to be past it. There's a new ache or pain each day, and Altman and I are just worn down with worry about how things will go. 

I know, my worrying won't change a thing. But, I want my boy to feel good about his effort. When he is disappointed, my heart breaks. 

We are blessed. I understand this and I thank God every day for our blessings. But, a little break would be nice. A break from COVID-19 news, political news, broken bones, anxious kiddos, and the daily anxieties about work and life. 

I started this blog years ago to be honest and transparent about raising children. It started with a poopapocolypse like no other. 

It's time to get back to those roots. And hopefully, my words resonate with some of you and allow you to see that we all have things on our mind and that's okay. 

Every moment is a new opportunity (can't remember the author of that quote) and I am taking them one at a time and doing the best I can with them. 

See you on the roads!

The Miles Continue...

Pre-pandemic, we were really busy. All. The. Time. We were gearing up for CHKM weekend and the general craziness of spring.
Then, COVID came to town. The need for blood doesn’t stop in a pandemic. Throw in over a hundred blood drives canceled in like 72 hours, 6 complete schedule re-writes for one week and communications sent multiple times per day bc of urgent changes and that’s a tiny glimpse of March into April.
I worked long days and weekends. I love what I do and it was actually a great adrenaline rush every day to see what would happen next.
Then, the frantic pace began to slow and we began to find new routines at work and home. And I began to wonder how I would pass time. Sure, it’s great fun to have time with the boys, but they like video games and playing together so I knew I would have some time to kill.
I don’t do crafts. I don’t bake. I hate yard work. I don’t sew. I was needing a good way to spend my time through the spring and probably the whole summer.
Sometime in April, I saw a post for the Great Race Across TN. It was to be a 1000K and run from May 1 to August 31. It was going to be hosted by race organizing icons!
Doing the math, that’s a lot more running than I have done regularly since at least 2012.
Logically, I signed up.
Some days, it’s been great fun. Others, every step makes me wish for the run to be over.
Without all the places to go, one would think I am less busy.
Nope.
I have miles to go. Miles before work. Miles after work. Miles on weekends. I get to run miles with Jackson and some days, Karson will come “workout” while I am in the treadmill.
I run/strength training in the morning at least two days per week. I run every day after work and on weekends.
I passed Sewanee today. I am ahead of the buzzard (cutoff symbol) and am on track to finish this thing.
Each day, the miles continue. I am rediscovering my overall love for running. The highs and the challenges and all the miles in between.
So, if you need me, I am likely logging some miles.
See you on the roads! KA
P.S. - I am going to keep going when the #GVRAT1000K is over. Who knows where my miles may take me!

Summer Break Has Begun!

Offical word came yesterday that it seems summer break is officially here. It wasn't a surprise at all. But even though it wasn't a surprise, it hit me pretty hard.

At first, I laughed it off because we knew it was coming and went on upstairs to hop on the treadmill. About 1.5 miles in, I started crying. Not for myself.

I cried for the loss of normalcy for my boys. I cried because some day, they'll be telling their kids about how they had a 5 month summer break.

I cried because Karson is missing out on the end of his kindergarten year. This year begins such a big journey in life and honestly, it sucks that he won't be able to participate in the fun Rocky Hill spring kindergarten activities.

I cried for Jackson. He loves school. He loves seeing his friends.

I allowed myself a few minutes to wallow and then I did what I always do. I hit the start button and kept going.

What else can I do? Sit around and be mad at the world?

That's not how I want us to raise the children and it's definitely not what I want to see them do as adults.

I want them to understand that life can be hard. There is great joy in so many things and there will be pain at times.

I want them to understand that when life is hard, you have two choices. You can be mad and wallow in that anger or you can recognize that this is a difficult situation and figure out how to make the best of it.

And yes, it's okay to grieve our losses. It's okay to be sad. But always try to shift the perspective into making the best of situations.

There have been times in life when I was just mad. And you know, I didn't feel very good then. I am sure my physical health suffered and definitely my mental and emotional health.

So, I woke up this morning and the sun was shining and I know that we'll make the best of it.

The boys are attending Daddy School each day. Jackson and I are still running together. We finally get to play with the ridiculous amounts of Legos and toys in our home.

We tune in to Dave's Happy Hour each day at 6 PM and listen to fun music while we work puzzles.

The boys are developing a relationship that they may never have had otherwise. I'm not saying that they wouldn't be close but certainly, they are getting to know one another as friends as well as brothers.

Eventually we will be able to have play dates again. Eventually we will be able to go to a restaurant so I can yell at the children to sit down and have manners. Eventually we will have another new normal.

For now, it seems that summer break is here so we'll do what we do during the summer....boys will still be learning. The boys will play. And we'll spend time together as a family.

See you on the roads!