Putting in the Work - Time to talk Exercise

As a kid, I wasn't into fitness or sports. In my early years, we lived in a place where I could ride a bike but moved out of a development and to a home with no place to ride except our yard. My parents didn't encourage sports. They said I never showed interest but honestly I don't remember them encouraging me to try sports at all other than basketball. As a grown adult, I am 5'3" so I wasn't destined to be a basketball star plus, I hated it.

In college, my friends and I would go to the Aquatic Center to workout. The space was small and cramped but it worked for our needs. In addition, I had a friend that taught group exercise classes. I LOVED them. They were so hard but it so fun and I really admired her for being up on that stage and leading us all through such a great workout.

Also, I took a weight lifting class in college and found that having muscle tone was actually really cool. From there, I signed up for a gym membership and committed myself to regular exercise.

I have been a certified group exercise instructor for half my life now. I don't teach as much as I'd like but I still get a thrill from leading a class and helping others achieve their fitness goals for the day.

In the last year, I have had a hard time getting regular exercise. Working full-time in a location that was 30 minutes from home, having two kids, community service commitments, and managing the house left little time for me to workout. Sure, I could get up at 4 or 4:30 to get my workout in but that is really hard when you only sleep two to four hours a night. But truthfully, I could have found the time if I had stopped, taken a breath, and really planned my days. I could have done a lunch run instead of eating at my desk. I could have hit the greenway after work or pushed one of the kids in the jogger. I was tired and wasn't making exercise a priority.

Now that I work for myself, I have a new outlook. And, I remember that to get results, you have to put in the work. I am currently building base running miles and practicing yoga several times a week. Once I get a good foundation then I will start to work on strength then speed. It won't come over night and it won't all be fun times. It is going to be hard. There will be good days and bad. There will be setbacks. But, it is time to put in the work.

If you have been meaning to get back out there and run or cycle or go to the gym then look at your schedule for tomorrow and find 20 minutes. A walk around the block is a starting place. Going to the gym and riding the bike for 20 minutes is a starting place. You have to put in the work to get results. Stop saying tomorrow and do it today. Let's do this together. 

See you on the roads.

Dear Jackson

Dear Jackson,

I think you are remarkable. It is July 2014 and you just turned 5. Just days after your birthday, you had a fairly major surgery to reconstruct the muscles in your right foot.

I know we've told you and we'll tell you the story over and over but you were born with a club foot. You had your first cast at 7 days old and your first surgery around 5 weeks. You wore that cast for three more weeks.

After the cast, you wore these special little shoes that had a bar between them. You learned to crawl in them and they didn't slow you down. You totally destroyed your beautiful crib by slamming the bar into the slats over and over. That was your way of getting our attention.

Most people would never have known that you had a foot problem. Your dad and I can see that your right foot is smaller than your left and always will be. Your right calf will always be smaller than the left calf. Otherwise, you've been able to run and play like other kids. Your only setback is that you haven't been able to balance on your right foot or hop on that foot. Not really a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.

We knew there would be another surgery. Achilles repair is what they call it. Earlier this year, you began complaining that your foot hurt. We took you to your doc who said that we probably need to do the surgery sooner than later so that your recovery wouldn't be bad. In addition, we all noticed that your right foot was beginning to turn in slightly. Your anterior tibialis and your achilles were out of balance and the result was that your foot was turning in.

On July 10, you had an achilles repair and an anterior tibialis transfer. We left the hospital that day with you wearing a big red cast up to your thigh.

You have handled the situation amazingly well. Yes, you've had some meltdowns and we've had some stumbles but overall, you haven't complained. You went from an independent and active pre-schooler to being totally reliant on your father and I to do everything for you - including going to the bathroom. Instead of being sad, you've laughed. And, you've been very appreciative and loving.

Within two days, you wanted to play on the floor. Days later, you were hoisting yourself onto the sofa. Within days of that, you were scooting yourself up the stairs. Last week, you were "crab" walking around the house and up and down the stairs.

You've drawn pictures and played reading games. You've watched a lot of cartoons. You've gone miles and miles in the jog stroller (yes, we've been pushing you even though your weight plus the weight of the stroller is over 60 lbs!).  We've had friends visit and all around made the best of the situation.

All of this to say that I admire you. You've laughed and cried and had good days and bad days but I am inspired by your ability to get up and keep moving. It isn't even a question for you. Each morning, almost immediately, you ask, "Can I get on the floor and play?"

When I watched you (crab) walk for the first time in the red cast, I could only think that you are definitely our kid. I feel proud that somewhere in all of this craziness, you have learned to keep trying and keep pushing and that you can do anything.

I love you. Your dad loves you. Karson loves you. We are all very, very proud of you. I am looking forward to seeing how you handle the orange cast (Go Vols!) and then watching you run again when this one comes off. You asked me yesterday if we can run together soon and yes, we can. I would be honored to go on a run with you. Any time. Any place.

Love you sweet boy. And yes, you'll always be my baby.

Mom

A visit to the Altman Home

If you were to drop by right now, there are some fun things that you would find.

First, you'd probably say that you didn't know we lived in a condo. Then you'd come in and say that our place is so big (4 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, walk-in closet, etc.). People are always surprised. We don't have a yard but we have a great field across the street for playing catch, soccer, and just running around. We don't have to do yard work and we don't pay for exterior repairs (new roof or gutters). Long story short, it is a great place for us for this time in our life.

With that said, here are things you'd find if you came over for a visit:

1. A slotted spoon in a wicker basket that holds toys.

2. Jackson jumping on his bed in his red, thigh-high cast (pre-orange cast). (Don't tell Dr. Sears.)

3. Pots and pans on the floor.

4. Tupperware on the floor.

5. Markers and copy paper on the table. And, about 40 pictures of trains that Jackson has drawn just today.

6. Two whisks and a trash can in the guest bathroom sink.

7. My completely unmade bed because I thought I would take a nap today.

8. Karson napping in his infant car seat in his bedroom.

9. A step stool in the bath tub along with a nail file, yoga block, and who knows what else. 

10. Blankets covering the patio out back so that Karson doesn't burn his feet while he wanders around.

11. A train table in the office but the trains and tracks are set up on the floor.

12. Jackson's beautiful blue walls covered with hundreds of train pictures that he drew himself. (He is quite the artist.)

13. Jason's clothes in our upstairs bedroom.

14. My clothes, purses, and shoes in the huge master walk-in closet downstairs.

*The master is on the main but it is currently the office/playroom so that we could be upstairs and closer to the kids.

15. Fritz curled up and sleeping on top of a pillow on the sofa.

I am laughing and smiling and truthfully, I am proud of myself. When Jackson was a toddler, I would have been picking up toys as quickly as he could get them out. I would have worried myself senseless over the "chaos" and having great anxiety about the disorder. 

Today, I don't care. The house is clean. The toilets, tubs, and sinks are all clean. The sofas have been vacuumed as well as the floors. We aren't living in a dirty home but we are living in our home and I love it.

See you on the roads.

Sense of Calm

I am sitting at the kitchen table with work covering the entire surface. I sat down here and never made it to the desk. I am happily busy and don't really have time to write this but the urge struck and I am taking a work break just for a minute.

It just hit me. This is EXACTLY where I am supposed to be and this is EXACTLY what I am supposed to be doing right now in this life.

It is never easy to leave a job. It is definitely not easy to leave a job without another lined up. When you have two kids and a mortgage, it is even harder.

I looked at a few jobs and did some interviews but my gut kept telling me that I needed to work for myself. In addition, other people kept telling me the same thing. Without being prompted, I had so many people mention that I should start my own business. I don't know their reasons for throwing it out there but after so many comments, I started to feel at ease with it.

Thank you to everyone who gave me a little push and for believing in me and seeing something in me. Thank you to Jason for supporting me and believing in me.

I have no idea what things will look like in a year from now but right this minute, I have this sense of calm about my decision. I am optimistic that I will be successful. Not in the financial sense (although that would be great too) but in a way that says that I can really help people and our community and really make an impact doing something that I love.

Now, back to work. My new boss is a total slave driver! :)

A ride on the strugglebus

A lovely young lady that I worked with last year would use the word "strugglebus." Cureton hardly ever seemed to be having a bad day. Always smiling and at the ready, I always chuckled when she'd say she was on the strugglebus.

I adopted the word and now use it when necessary. Today is necessary. I have to admit that I have been on the strugglebus for over a week and I am ready for this ride to come to an end.

First things first, I am not complaining. I am sharing my reality. That was the point of starting this blog years ago. To share my reality as a woman, wife, and working mom.

I love my kids more than anything in this world and am incredibly blessed to have them. If these are the worst times for us then we are incredibly lucky. Life is a roller coaster full of ups and downs and we just happen to be moving fast through good and bad right now.

Anyone who knows us will know that Jackson had surgery last week. We have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and support from friends. Neither of us are particularly close to our families (in fact we haven't seen or talked to my parents in over a year and Jason's parents aren't physically able to help us). My grandparents are amazing and help when they can and I have other family that would help if we called but mostly, we are raising these kids on our own with some great sitters and our local family friends.

The point is that the support has been amazing. Texts, calls, and visits have really been great for all of us especially Jackson. We had a few people brush off the surgery as not a big deal and I guess to them, it isn't a big deal. So what, your kid was under anesthesia and now has a cast up to his mid-thigh? No big deal.

But, it is a big deal. Have you ever carried a 44" pre-schooler that weighs 46 pounds?  Have you tried to move him in and out of a car or up the stairs or even to the bathroom? How many times have you had a very, very active pre-schooler suddenly be totally reliant on you for everything? (FYI - I am only 63" tall and he isn't far off from being half my weight.)

It is hard. He's used to instant gratification. Need to go potty? Get up and go. Thirsty? Get something from the fridge. Now he has to wait. Unfortunately for him, we still have a toddler that needs constant care and attention. We're working on patience with Jackson and we've had several conversations on the importance of asking with manners and then waiting patiently. Sometimes he is patient and other times, we end up having a moments where he is in trouble and we are frustrated.

I spent the first part of last week worried about the surgery and was so grateful and relieved once we were through it. Now, I've spent every day and night caring for the children with very little rest for the weary. They alternate not sleeping. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in a night in over two weeks. An ENT has prescribed tubes for Karson but I just can't bear to schedule that until Jackson is a little more mobile.

On top of all of this, personal relationships have been weighing on my heart. I am usually a good judge of character but have been disappointed by a handful of people lately. I have learned some important lessons and hope not to make mistakes again. Totally unfortunate and I feel like I should know better by now given that I am 37. This is why the situations bother me so much. I can keep two kids alive, be a good wife, work full-time, stay fit, and mostly keep up with the laundry but I sometimes have trouble seeing people for who they are until it is too late. I am not gullible. That isn't it. I think my expectations for people are really high and I want to make the most of every relationship. If I am going to invest the time then I expect certain things in return. Maybe my expectations are too high but the friends that I have and love have always managed to rise to the occasion so to speak so maybe I am just spoiled.

With that said, I have also been blessed to make some new friends that I think will be good for me now and in the future. And, as I noted above, we have been blessed by so many wonderful people who have been checking in on us and offering to help us with the children.

Even though I have been focusing on the struggles, I want to take a moment to focus on the positive.

Altman Consulting is thriving. If you haven't heard, I started my own business. I do PR/Communications work. My mission is to help small businesses and nonprofits with their communications needs. So many local groups are doing such good work but don't have the time, staff, or skill set to promote their work, do social media, or plan events. I have been very lucky to take on several initial projects with several more in proposal or planning. I have website content almost ready and that project should get underway soon. I am so grateful to everyone who has encouraged me and supported me. I am especially grateful to a friend who has been guiding me along the way and is continuing to help me forge ahead. I'll never be able to repay him for his help but will try.

We are set to go on vacation in September. No explanation needed there. Good times.

I signed up for a half marathon in December. Now I have a goal. So, I should probably start running seriously soon.

I have just been invited to serve on a new board of directors and am humbled that so many groups have asked for my service. I am lucky to sit on several local boards and work on committees for so many amazing groups. The future of Knoxville is very bright.

Football season is really close. That is awesome.

Karson may finally have a tooth...after 13 months.

We have 11 days until Jackson gets his short cast.

I have the greatest husband on earth. Seriously. Hands down. I never knew that someone could
love and support me so unconditionally.

And finally, I am off this afternoon for a little pampering.

So, hopefully the strugglebus is coming to a stop and we'll get on track soon. For now, I will sign off with a new hashtag from one of my new favorite friends. #letsdothis

See you on the roads (and not on the strugglebus).