Life is a roller coaster!

It has been a crazy couple of weeks.  Up and down and up and down. Unfortunately, I am  not a big fan of roller coasters and I don't go to amusement parks so weeks like these are a bit unsettling for me.  And, I ran out of the samples of the awesome medicine that the doctor gave me for my stomach.  And, said medicine is very, very expensive so hopefully what they called in today to the pharmacy will work just as well.

If anyone doesn't know, Altman was gone for a few days to run the Hood to Coast Relay.  Yes, the KTC H2C team won.  That is a whole story in itself for another time.  When he is gone, so is a piece of me.  Cheesy?  Say whatever you want.  That is how I feel and I know that Jackson can sense my anxiety which makes the roller coaster go higher and lower at each turn.

I have spent a lot of time with my child during the last week.  I love him.  I would die for him.  Let's get that out there first.  Wouldn't think twice about it....my child living and me dying...Would do it without giving it a thought.

However, as much as I love my child, I have discovered that I am not meant to be a stay at home mommy.  If you stay home with your child, please don't be offended.  I think you are amazing.  Simply amazing.  I personally just think that my relationship with Jackson is much better when we spend at least 5 hours separated each day.

He is a lot like me.  He is stubborn and very impatient.  I am sure my mom is laughing right now because isn't that how the saying goes, that your child will be just like you?  If you know me, I am pretty stubborn and can be really impatient.  I am working hard on both but we've all got challenges.  Hopefully he is picking up some positive characteristics from me too.  I hope that his stubbornness leads to good grades in school and excelling in sports (or sweater knitting) and I hope that he has my desire to help others.

Also, Jackson expects everything to go right on the first try.  Can't imagine where he gets that...

I've never known anything that can make me so furious and so irritable and then turn around and make me cry with laughter and love within the same situation.

He is two so I imagine that we'll have several days like we had today in our future.  I cannot tell you how many times I said, "No.  Stop.  Stop it now.  Don't touch that.  Don't climb on that.  What is wrong with you."  Several times today, he blatantly did exactly what I was telling him not to do.  I knew that these days were coming but I didn't know how hard it would be to not laugh at him and how hard it would be to try to redirect him to something else.

Everyday is a roller coaster.  In the midst of all the chaos, I had an epic work day yesterday.  One thing, I can't tell you yet but it is very good.  The other is that Knoxville is now an Official Runner Friendly Community.  At the peak of that high, I found out that a dear volunteer for KTC and incredible woman died yesterday morning.  I just saw her on Sunday.  She and Jackson shook hands and then she remarked that the "tadpole" was so handsome and growing up so fast.  Then, she was gone.  Just like that.

Today was a roller coaster.  I am hoping tomorrow is more of a float in the lazy river kind of day.  We'll see.  Whatever happens, I will remind myself that I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and that yes, my child is probably the most handsome kid ever and even at two he is pretty smart and pretty well-mannered.  Seriously, through the good and the bad and the ups and the downs, I want to remind myself that I am very, very lucky and that things can change in a minute.  I just hope the roller coaster doesn't stop at the top of an incline.....

Finally on the road to recovery?

Last night, Facebook told Jason (yes, a note popped up to tell him) that one year ago yesterday, I posted that I had done my first workout in ages and felt great.  That is super weird because yesterday, I posted that I had done my first workout in ages and that I was cautiously optimistic.

Last summer, while on the roads to my first post baby marathon, I began feeling so, so tired.  I thought it was increased mileage and I kept pushing the limits.  Turns out that I had mono.  So, marathon hopes down the drain and I set my sights on the Bourbon Chase and a half marathon.  My new goals worked out well.  I did so much better than I expected at Bourbon Chase and had a huge half marathon PR in Charlotte.

One cold night last December, I signed up for the Cleveland Marathon in May.  I didn't tell a soul for several weeks.  I played off the high mileage easily because I was running a half in Chattanooga at the end of February followed by leg 3 at Whitestone 30K and Relay the following day.

Things were going well.  The half went well considering I had done no speed work and I ran a great race at the Whitestone Relay with our women's team coming in first (of course the two speedier ladies ahead of me really set us up for the win!).

The following week, I did my first 20 miler in over 3 years.  I had something like a 30 minute PR for that mileage.  I was super pumped about my May marathon and knew I would have a PR.  Then came the pain about two weeks later and I ignored it.  I got out the foam roller and figured that I was just sore and that the increased mileage was taking a toll.  No big deal.

I did another 20 miler and it also went really well.  What could go wrong?  I had been doing strength workouts and was getting ready to hit the track and work on speed.  And I did.  Once.  A friend calls the Ye Ol' Workouts the Widowmaker workout.  I don't disagree.

After doing Ye Ol' 8K on the track, I limped a bit to the car.  I figured teaching yoga the day before plus the workout was just too much.  Keep in mind that all of my pains were easily explained and there was good reason every day for why I was hurting.  The pain was in my low back, glute, and hip and it got worse.  So much worse.

By the time I saw the physical therapist, all the muscles in my hip and glutes on the left side were firing non-stop in a constant spasm.  Krusenklaus said no speed work but that he could get me ready for the marathon.  Instead of taking a day or two off, I kept pushing.  I hit the Alter-G treadmill and the soft surface at Cherokee Boulevard.  Instead of 15 miles on Saturday, I ran 7 and then I ran 7 again the next day.

I didn't stop training but I did forgo any speed work and really just wanted to finish the race.  I didn't finish the marathon.  By mile 9, the pain was radiating through my hip, glute, and hamstring.  By mile 11, it had moved to my calf and achilles.  At 12.5 when I made it to Altman, I cried on the corner just two blocks from our hotel.  Heartbroken and hurting.

I have been on the mend since then.  I have gone to therapy and stretched and strengthened.  Today, I ran 7 miles.  I had a good workout yesterday and followed it up with a slow, easy 7 miler this morning.  And, no pain.  Am I finally on the road to recovery?  I sure hope so and if not, this time I will know to stop instead of trying to push through the pain.....